"Foxy Fashion for Seventies Chicks"

by Jody Kramer


Look like a fox not a fiasco!!!! My best fashion advice on the do's and
don'ts, ins and outs, of dressing for high school. The way life works you have
to look cool to be popular so here are my suggestions:

Hair tips
For chicks, long and straight parted down the middle continues to be the
biggest look. Of course your hair has to be absolutely straight. (tip: roll
your hair on really huge OJ cans or iron flat if you have the frizzies) the
newer styles are the wedge like Dorothy Hamill or wings and layers like
Farrah Fawcett, Lee Majors' wife who does the shampoo ads.

Tops
Your basic wardrobe should consist of tons of T-shirts, tank tops, tube tops,
halter tops, vests, crop tops, crocheted pieces, all kinds of little shirts
that are stretchy, short, tight or bare. These tops should be in a wide
variety of colors and wear a matching belt with everything. If inflation is
hitting you hard buy a rainbow colored belt and wear it a lot. Another thing
about T-shirts is the little cap sleeve makes everyone's arms look flat, so
don't worry about it just wear them because everyone else does.

There is nothing tackier than your bra hanging out of all these little bare
tops, so buy the adjustable halter and strapless bras that are always
uncomfortable or falling down. Or if you are not going to wear a bra at least
wear band aids so your nips don't show -- that is if you want a nice girl
reputation.

With all the bare clothes you just have to be tan, so spend any chance you
get laying out for hours soaked in baby oil and iodine. Don't try the fake
tan stuff, it will turn you orange and ruin you life, trust me!

Polyester blouses with large collars and cuffs are really cool. They come in
great bright colors in this shiny, slippery fabric that never wrinkles. These
look best accessorized with a thin gold chain with a heart or butterfly charm
or a small scarf around your neck and your frosted, shimmery eyeshadow and
gooiest lip gloss.

Jeans/pants
Jeans are the most critical item in your closet. It may seem superficial but
if you don't wear jeans that look right forget ever going steady with a hunk.
It's easy, tight from the waist to the thighs then flares to the floor (your
shoes should not show). Designs that make your jeans more cool: patchwork
denim patterns, frayed bottoms from dragging the ground, inset fabrics down
the side seams, and jeans with two sets of zippers and no waist band. Ditto
jeans with the saddleback, that horseshoe shape around the butt are cute, 
too.

Other types of bottoms - Of course your basic jeans are the best thing to
wear but that can get boring so try to throw on something different like
painters pants, overalls, a jumpsuit, or gauchos once a week.

Out: jeans that are baggy in the butt, panty lines and high waters.

Jewelry
Turquoise and silver jewelry with chunky stones are in, so is wearing you
boyfriend's senior ring with lots of yarn tied around the back or on a string
around your neck. Mood rings are cute, but beware of the curious gray. Most
girls wear lots of rings, one necklace of beads or chains and small dangling
earrings or studs.

Dressing up
Speaking of dresses, no one really wears them very often because they went
from mini's to midi's to maxi's in a few years and now they are right at the
knee and what fun is that. For special occasions you wear long hostess
dresses and for the prom it is romantic long dresses flowing with ruffles and
lace.


- from "Dazed and Confused" (St. Martin's Press, New York, 1993).

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