Wedding Etiquette: The Basics People these days are thinking, does wedding etiquette still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that wedding etiquette is just a thing of the past. But is wedding etiquette really now just part of history? I don't think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don't think so, too. Every culture has wedding etiquette. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about wedding etiquette, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their wedding etiquette may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their wedding etiquette is the proper wedding etiquette. The wedding etiquette that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and wedding etiquette books had been published during the Victorian era. The social and wedding etiquette practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic wedding etiquette of the westerners. These Victorian wedding etiquette has been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle. What are the basics of wedding etiquette? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post's famous wedding etiquette book? Wedding Etiquette Basics In every all aspect of the wedding there is a wedding etiquette that should be followed. There's a wedding etiquette to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic wedding etiquette for guests; when sending out gifts there's a wedding etiquette too that must be followed. Here are some of basic wedding etiquette for the wedding parties and the guests: For the bride and groom: - Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do. Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination. - A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church. - A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding. - The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry. - The stepmother may seat at the church's first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew. For the guests: - Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner. - Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie. - Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can't make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts. Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address. Wedding Etiquette for Brides Whether we admit it or don't Wedding Etiquette is still an important issue to many of us. Don't you hear yourself complaining for some weddings that you have attended? Maybe you have heard some friends who have attended a wedding ceremony and learning after the rites that he or she was not invited for the wedding reception. Although it is acceptable and is within the Wedding Etiquette standard to invite some guests only at the wedding reception and some only at the wedding reception, the guests should be informed of this fact before hand. These instances want us to shout: Learn some manners! For brides out there who are getting married next year, it will be for your own good if you would buy Emily Post's book on Wedding Etiquette. It will teach you the Wedding Etiquette basics and Wedding Etiquette blunders. Knowing what violates and follows Wedding Etiquette will help you go through your big day, hassle and stress free. -- Basic Wedding Etiquette for Brides On what to wear. Modern Wedding Etiquette allows brides to wear any design that she want in any color. Brides are not anymore limited to wearing ultra white wedding dress with sleeves. They may wear a tube, halter or spaghetti strapped wedding dress in creme, beige or pastel colors. But for the sake of Wedding Etiquette, she should also consider her cultural background and her church's dress requirement. If your church requires you to wear a shawl over a tube wedding dress, then you must do so. If the minister or priest thinks that your red wedding dress is unappropriate for the church and ask you to replace your $10,000 designer wedding dress for a white wedding dress, then you should take it off and buy a white ready-to-wear wedding gown at Macy's. On who to invite. It is a basic Wedding Etiquette for a bride to talk to her groom on who and who are not to invite. Remember that the is the two of you who will get married, not only you. It will be a violation of Wedding Etiquette if you will invite persons your groom do not want to get invited or do not want to see, such as your old flame or his old boss that he had an argument eventhough you are in speaking terms with his old boss. It is not just about Wedding Etiquette, it is in fact about the issue of respect. If it is your second marriage, you should not invite your ex-spouse or your ex-parents-in-law. Even if you are in good terms with your ex, Wedding Etiquette dictates that you should not invite them. This is to avoid unnessary confrontations or wedding drama. Your guest will also feel uncomfortable around your ex. But there is an exception to this Wedding Etiquette. If your children to your ex-spouse has requested for the presence of their father, then you should talk about it with your groom. If he agrees, then invite your ex to your wedding. But there is an alternative to this, however. You can invite your guest for a dinner at your home after your wedding or honeymoon. This private dinner is more quiet and will save you the trouble of explaining to your father and mother and other close guests why your ex-husband is in your wedding. On gift giving and registry. It is a big Wedding Etiquette no-no to ask for cash gifts from your guests. Although it is a reality that newlyweds need cash as a startup money since they need to rent a bigger place or buy new appliances that the two of them needs, you don't want to look like a greedy bride for asking for some cash. Let them decide what to give. If they have decided to give you cash, then say your thanks. But don't ever ask them to fund a mortgage or fund a charity that you will establish as a wedding gift. Registry card is acceptable although modern Wedding Etiquette objects to insertion of the registry card in the invitation. Wedding Etiquette specialists say that brides should put up an online registry card and inform your guests through your invitation that you have an online registry and they may want to look it up in case they would decide to buy you gifts from your registry. The Shower And Stag Wedding Etiquette Being the maid of honor and the best man have a number of wedding etiquette duties. This includes the church responsibilities of handling the train, making sure that everyone is in their place and hosting the reception program. One of the important duties for any maid of honor and best man is to arrange for the bridal shower and stag party. Wedding etiquette for showers or stags can be done separately or together. It is a traditional wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to have their own celebration as well as the groomsmen for their stag party. For the bridal shower: Women have more finesse when it comes to bridal shower parties. The wedding etiquette for such events may require the maid of honor to come up with original ideas for the shower. The first thing to consider is the format. The wedding etiquette for formats can be from the formal (a dinner) or informal (strip club party). Aside from that, there are other alternatives like going to the spa, spending a party at the circus or whatever the maid of honor thinks that the bride will appreciate. A bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride and her friendship with the girls. Wedding etiquette only calls for all the bridesmaid's help in organizing it and making it memorable. A proper bridal shower observes the wedding etiquette of a program. A simple one will do. Depending on the theme, the program starts off with an introduction of the bride's friends, a round of games for everyone, the gift giving (if any) and then dinner. Gifts for the bridal shower are optional but are a great wedding etiquette to follow. The bride's friends can chip in for one extravagant gift or each of them can bring a piece for the bride. The wedding etiquette gift for bridal showers can be as tame as matching monogrammed towels to something naughty like lingerie. The wedding etiquette for games is to celebrate it as a fun reminder of the bride's single days or something about her current relationship. It is acceptable to have games purely for fun. But what the maid of honor has to remember is the shower giveaways. Already considered as an art form, the giveaways or gift bags are a wedding etiquette must have. The bags should contain a souvenir (any object of choice chosen by the maid of honor), a thank you card for making the event and maybe a picture of the couple for remembrance. Yes it sounds corny but it is about the bride and groom. Another wedding etiquette to remember is the timing of the bridal shower. An event like this should be celebrated weeks before the wedding date. This will allow the bride enough time to relax and truly enjoy the shower. And should she get drunk then, there is a lot of time to recover from the hang over. For the best man: A stag party is usually celebrated weeks before the wedding celebration. It is bad wedding etiquette to hold it the day before the ceremony. Things can go wrong what that happens. Imagine the groom arriving with a big headache. All the stag party is concerned is the budget of the event. If the best man can get as much funding from the other groomsmen, the event can go well underway. Most wedding etiquette for a stag party is not followed but the concept is there. Hosting is a wedding etiquette that the best man has to perform. Unlike the bridal shower, this process is very informal. The hosting job may only go as far as introducing the other groomsmen and then inviting in the strippers. The wedding etiquette of providing food and drinks still apply though. If the stag party is held at the hotel, room service can be ordered up to their room. If they decide to celebrate in a bar, the menu is easily available to them. The groomsmen can get as frisky as they want with the hired strippers but as a wedding etiquette rule, the groom should have self-control. The saying "Look but don't touch" applies. Or if it is unavoidable, "Touch but don't squeeze" will do. Stag parties are different from bridal showers because men view this as their last hurrah. The most important wedding etiquette rule or both parties is to never ask what transpired that night. It will only open up suspiciousness and could cancel a wedding. Brides, just be glad that your man made it to the altar. By him showing up there and meeting you means that nothing further happened. Wedding Etiquette For Cancelled Weddings The worst nightmare of any couple is the cancelled wedding. Despite months of preparation, things can still go wrong even at the moment of saying "I do." From a cheating partner to having the extreme case of cold feet, one must remember to maintain wedding etiquette throughout the entire ordeal. Depending on the seriousness of a cancelled wedding, one can still turn a failed occasion into a positive one. An obvious wedding etiquette procedure is to inform the family and guests that there will be no wedding celebration. If the wedding is cancelled a few days before the actual ceremony, sending cards to family and friends announcing the broken engagement is a suitable wedding etiquette. All arrangements made for the wedding date itself should be cancelled. Some companies will ask for payment, an amount that could be equal to the preparations taken by the supplier. It is a wedding etiquette to handle all this with grace and finesse. However, if the cancellation happens on the wedding date itself, the announcement must be made verbally and as soon as possible to avoid public humiliation. The family should use the wedding etiquette of comforting the one left at the altar and make it a point to shield him or her from other people since this is a sad situation. Gift wedding etiquette should be followed. This means all the wedding gift items will be returned, including cash, appliances or properties. It will be hard to do but at least the aggrieved party will not be accused of impoliteness. When calling off a wedding, it really is a proper wedding etiquette to do it months before the wedding date. That is what pre-marriage counseling is for. The wedding etiquette dictates that all couples should take marriage seminars to make sure that they are prepared emotionally and mentally for the huge responsibility ahead. A broken engagement is embarrassing as it is but as a wedding etiquette, you have the freedom not to question the couple why they decided not to continue with the wedding. And being the couple, you also have the right not to tell anyone until you feel you are ready. Not all broken engagements happen because of a lonely partner. When a relative's death occurs, it is proper wedding etiquette to cancel the wedding. This shows wedding etiquette in respect to the deceased's family and expresses sincere sorrow. Proper wedding etiquette is to allow six months to pass before attempting to walk down the aisle again. And even if the couple decides to wed two to three months after the death in the family, one must be ready to simplify the ceremony to observe wedding etiquette. Engagements broken by family members also happen. If this occurs, try to resolve the matter as discretely a possible. Wedding etiquette dictates that only the couple can decide on canceling the weeding or postponing it to a later date. When a partner is left cold on the altar: Things can become worse but you can also turn it into a positive one. If the wedding reception has been paid for, the person who paid for it can use the reception and continue on with the party for the guests' benefit. Wedding etiquette may not require the aggravated person to attend but it is a better way to forget the embarrassment. When the cancelled wedding occurs out of town, it is an important wedding etiquette to have a clear head and sort out the pre-made plans of the wedding. Things like the honeymoon trip and the hotel accommodations must be taken cared of. If the aggrieved party has paid for the trip, he or she can choose to take it as a getaway and period of reflection. Bouncing back from the broken engagement: The first few weeks are the toughest to face. Be prepared to here the question "Why?" and "What happened?" a lot. Wedding etiquette dictates that you have to face these people with a smile and offer as little detail as possible. As attractive as the sound of revenge is, you must try to keep an open mind and be as civil about everything a possible. Remember that this person once had an important part of your life and part of a wedding etiquette is to respect their decision. Wedding Etiquette Advice for Guests More often than not, it is the guests that we oftentimes hear complain about the outcome of the wedding, that the bride and groom violated wedding etiquette, and so on and so fort. Guests seem to be forgetting that wedding etiquette is not just for the bride and groom. There is wedding etiquette too reserved for the guests. We have outlined here some wedding etiquette advice for guests. These wedding etiquette advice are taken from different sources and may help you understand how to act and socialize with grace and manners in any wedding. Wedding Etiquette Advice 1: Thou shalt respond to an invitation, immediately! Invited guests who do not respond to an invitation are the major cause of headaches to the bride and groom. There are guest who will say regrets to the bride and groom just a day before the wedding day. While some guests will not reply to the invitation at all and then show up without notice to the wedding ceremony and wedding reception. Wedding Etiquette Advice #1 says this act is totally rude! Today, the bride and groom pay for their own wedding. They rely on their savings and salary to fund their wedding. They are not asking their fathers anymore to host their big day. So, with the limited budget that the couples have allotted for their wedding (of course they need to save some as a startup money). The couples need to know the exact head count so they would know if they will go over their budget. And failure of guests to reply to an RSVP will give the bride and groom headaches. They would not know how many guests should they book in the hotel or caterer. And also, if you aware of this fact, if the bride and groom add you to the guest list and they inlist you for a sit-down dinner, they will pay for your head even though you did not attend the wedding. Please follow this wedding etiquette advice if you don't want to be called an unmannered brute. Reply to an invitation immediately if you must, or at least two week before the wedding day. We, guests, expect the bride and groom to practice wedding attique, and so should we. Wedding Etiquette Advice 2: Thou shalt be dress appropriately. This wedding etiquette advice is not meant to promote fashion, although being fashionable is really good. This wedding etiquette advice came next to the wedding etiquette advice on responding immediately to an invitation. Because after you respond to an invitation, the next thing you will do is either buy a gift (if you still have some spare money to buy your bride friend a gift) or attend the wedding (if you do not have the money to buy a gift, you can skip the gift giving). This wedding etiquette advice is for your own good. You would not want to look like a gate crasher in your friends wedding, or do you? If it is a formal wedding, you would not want to be caught wearing a jeans and t-shirt, right? You would definitely look like a gate crasher if you are not dressed properly. The wedding etiquette advice if the event is informal: please refrain from wearing jeans and tank top or t-shirt. For women, kindly wear a cocktail dress or a pretty Sunday dress. For men, please, if you may, wear your suit. Just forgo your tie. You can even roll up your sleeves and open the top button of your shirt to make it look less forma. You would definitely look dashing in a suit! Wedding Etiquette Advice 3: Thou shalt greet the newlyweds. Brides and grooms want to feel you are happy for them and your greetings will greatly be appreciated. This wedding etiquette advice is not hard, isn't it? All you have to do is go to the bride and groom and greet the bride, "Best Wishes" while the groom "Congratulations." Saying your greetings is not only a thumbs-up act, it is also a kind one. Second Wedding, Do It Right This Time... Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners. Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to you children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already-established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation. The bride and groom's parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex's. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family. Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made. A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement. Who's Going? Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests. The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate. Vows and Ceremonies Second wedding are normally made in civil ceremonies but can also be done in a religious ceremony. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing vows is common among second wedding and there is an abundance of books written about it. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event. The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all. Are Bridal Showers Needed? Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules. - Only guests should be invited - Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride's first wedding should not participate. Wedding Gifts and Registry Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts. It's also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry. - Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages - Gift certificates -- restaurants, spas, stores - DVD player and DVDs - Charity Donatios - Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books Wedding Receptions and Parties The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional. Not Necessary In A Second Marriage - Rehearsal Dinner - Attendants - Accompanying the bride down the aisle - Procession Advisable - Make a gift registry even if you don't want gifts. - The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony. - Customize and personalize the wedding and reception. Please Avoid - Doing the same things in like your first wedding. - Wearing a similar wedding dress. - Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding. - Use old rings from a past marriage. - Criticizing former spouses Optional - Showers - Engagement Party - Announcement in the newspaper - Rehearsal Dinner - A laving wedding with attendants - Parents walking down the aisle - A different color for the wedding dress instead of white The Rules For Second Wedding Etiquette There are instances of second weddings and for these times, second wedding etiquette will asked to be observed by the couple. It entirely depends on whose experience is complicated by matters of the former wedding. Before the wedding: It is a second wedding etiquette to acknowledge the former wife or husband. If the relationship is amiable, announcing the engagement is best done over dinner. Second wedding etiquette requires a courtesy to be extended to the former legal partner. If the previous relationship is not so good, the future bride or groom should inform them of their intentions through the telephone. Some second wedding etiquette can also be extended to the former partner's family, if they are very close. If the couple has children to think about, it is second wedding etiquette to inform them of their decision. Regardless of their children's protests, this should not be skipped or done at the last minute. Children have a longer time to adjust and accept certain realities. One of them is the thought of having a new mom or dad. Therefore, a second wedding etiquette requires mom and dad to make their engagement known to the children first. If the relationship is good between the kids and the new mom or dad, they will respect their parent's wishes and support their union. The wedding details: Having gone through the entire wedding process before, this will be easier to handle the second time around. The couple should remember the second wedding etiquette of holding a smaller event and inviting only their close friends and family. It is rude to ask for the former partner to attend but if there is no problem, they can do so. The couple can discuss second wedding etiquette regarding the budget for the wedding. It is normal that expenses are shared. The question of who will pay for what can be decided among the bride and groom privately. For most second weddings, a lot of them prefer to celebrate out of town. Perhaps because of their higher disposable income, they now have the luxury to have the wedding in a foreign place. Second wedding etiquette is much the same as the first wedding which considers the guests and who can afford to travel that far, like Hawaii, for the event. The wedding location and reception: As a rule, second wedding etiquette requires the bride and groom to not celebrate their marriage in a place reminiscent of the past relationships. Second weddings are sensitive occasions for both parties since there is an unspoken expectation from the partner regarding the first marriage. Choosing the theme, the wedding location and where the reception will be held is a matter for both parties to discuss. The locations should be accessible to the family and guests. Regarding the color of the dress, it is all right for the bride to wear a white wedding gown. The groom and groomsmen can wear a tuxedo. For a second wedding etiquette, you can still pretty much follow the traditional color palette. The couple as a second wedding etiquette should also provide for the transportation of everyone. It is allowed to ask beforehand who will bring a car so that the number of rented automobiles can be estimated. Doing so will save the couple money and time. Second wedding as a family affair: Not all second weddings are about building new families. The second wedding etiquette can be used to celebrate a renewal of vows to each other. This is usually done to mark a marriage's longevity like the 25th year or the 50th year anniversary. Weddings like this are more private and solemn than the first wedding and perhaps more joyous. Reaffirming one's vow made to their wife or husband is such a beautiful thing. The second wedding etiquette for the couple is to invite their closest friends and family to the event and keep it as simple as possible. For guests: It is proper second wedding etiquette to bring a gift for the couple. Though using a bridal registry is optional, second wedding gifts are often those that the couple can appreciate and use. Money is still accepted and the second wedding etiquette of handing the envelopes to the family members is still practiced. The rules for second wedding etiquette are not at all hard to follow. All the couple has to do is be considerate of the other's feelings and decisions in whatever part of the wedding. And as a second wedding etiquette rule, the honeymoon should be as sweet, if not sweeter, than the first wedding. Second Wedding Etiquette Just a decade ago, there is this popular thought in the way second wedding should be celebrated. People say that couples should not be extravagant and formal in celebrating their second wedding, most especially if the bride or the groom was divorced from his or her first spouse. Second wedding should be celebrated quietly, in a smaller and intimate party. Nowadays, however, this is thought does not hold true to many of us. Couples who will celebrate their Second Wedding should not hide their emotions and love for each other. They could celebrate their Second Wedding in any way they want it to be celebrated. Be it an intimate or quiet one or extravagant and formal the way they have celebrated their first wedding. Don't think what other people would say about you being too extravagant for a Second Wedding. If you and your groom have the budget to finance a feast wedding, then do as you please! It is not everyday that you will find a person who would make your heart beat the second time. And finding the real Mr. Right for you (which you failed to find from your first spouse) is enough a reason to host a feast. But do you know that Second Wedding also has its list of Etiquette? So, if you want to avoid seeing raised eyebrows on your wedding day, try to know some basic Second Wedding Etiquette and avoid committing Second Wedding Etiquette blunders. -- Second Wedding Etiquette: How to Announce Your Engagement If you have children from your first marriage, getting married for the second time will be a bit hard for them. So, even before you announce your Second Wedding to people that you know, take the time to sit down and talk to your children first about your plans to remarry. This is the most important Second Wedding Etiquette that you must remember. If you failed to tell your kids in advance about your plans of remarrying, you are taking your second marriage in an uneven road even before you, your second husband, his kids and your kids live in one roof. Second Wedding Etiquette requires you tell your parents of your engagement before you inform your ex-spouse. If you don't have any children with your ex-spouse, you would not violate second wedding etiquette if you won't inform you ex-spouse about your engagement. -- Second Wedding Etiquette: Wedding Dress Issue Lilac or lavender is the color of wedding dress for widow brides who are getting married for the second time. But this Second Wedding Etiquette is not obligatory; widow brides may wear any color of wedding dress that they wish to wear. This fact holds true to divorced brides who will be having her second wedding. Divorced brides can wear white wedding gown. But it would be best if they would leave out the veil and tiara. A flower headress would be the best alternative. -- Second Wedding Etiquette: Should You Invite Your Ex? When planning for your second wedding, you should list the people who you would like to invite. Your groom should have his own list too. Then you and the groom should sit down to talk about who should and should not be on the list of guests. This is the proper Etiquette for Second Wedding. For Second Wedding Etiquette, it is advised that former in-laws and ex-spouses should not be written on the guest list even if you are on good terms with them. Your guests may feel a bit awkward around them. Even if your groom agrees on the idea of inviting your ex-in-laws and ex-spouse (just to show that he hasn't any bad blood for his ex), you should not agree into it. You won't know what would happen if the former and current in-laws and spouses meet. It's better to be safe than sorry. The proper Second Wedding Etiquette for this scenario is to invite your ex-spouse instead for a dinner after the wedding and honeymoon. How To Write The Wedding Etiquette Wording During the entire course of the wedding, there are several instances that require wedding etiquette wording. What is wedding etiquette wording? It is a collection for phrases or paragraphs meant for the couple's union. The wedding etiquette wording follows certain rules to make it as effective and elegant as possible. Traditionally, the bride handles all the wedding details, including the wedding etiquette wording for the groom. But thankfully, now there are some things that can be handed over to other people like the wedding planner, a member of the family or even the clergy. The announcement: The engagement can be announced to both families in an intimate gathering. However, the law requires that the union be posted in an ad as public announcement of their nuptial. The wedding etiquette wording for this can be kept to a minimum. The details include, the name of the couple and their parents, the date and location of the wedding and the reception information. More elegant announcements can run a full-page story about the couple's history but members of the elite society mostly do this wedding etiquette wording. The invitation: After establishing your guest list, it is time to send out the invitations. The wedding etiquette wording is very important and must be written while considering the marital status of the couple's parents and the couple themselves. As more and more people get divorced, the wedding etiquette wording has evolved to accommodate the changes. If all the parents are divorced, the invitation should include all parents' names, with the bride's parents first. The mothers should be written down before names of their ex-husbands. It is important to note that wedding etiquette wording dictates that the invitation contains the following: name of the couple, their parents, the date and location of the wedding, wedding attire requirements, the map to the wedding and reception area, the bridal registry information and other details such as a wedding website of the couple. As a matter of wedding etiquette wording, all the wedding invitations must come from the bride's side, even for the friends of the groom. They should be sent out six weeks before the wedding day. Guests from out of town should be considered and have their invitations a lot earlier than the rest so they can prepare for the event. The wedding vows: Traditionally, wedding vows are spoken to each other as dictated by the clergy. However some couples prefer to make theirs special by making personalize d vows. The couple themselves should write the wedding etiquette wording for vows. Quoting a poem or a song is acceptable as long as it is the person's sincere words. The toast: Prior to the wedding reception, the family should be aware of the program. At this stage, the host should have informed the concerned parties of the wedding etiquette wording speeches they will make. It helps to write down what one has to say to avoid stammering. The parents or a very close family member from each side of the family does the wedding etiquette wording for the speech. Another speech requiring a wedding etiquette wording is the best man and maid of honor. Usually expressing their long friendship and wishes for their friends, the wedding etiquette wording for these speeches is short but meaningful. The thanksgiving: Another speech that needs wedding etiquette wording is the one given by the couple at the end of the program. The couple makes an expression of gratitude to the bride and groom's families, guests and everyone behind the wedding event. Although the wedding etiquette wording may be spontaneous than the previous speeches, it is nonetheless sincere and appropriate. The Thank you card: A week after the wedding it is customary to send out thank you cards to the guests, those who gave a gift and the people who organized the wedding event (including the wedding planner, the musicians, the floral arranger, etc). A simple wedding etiquette wording would be a thank you note or a poem signed by the newlyweds. This type of wedding etiquette wording job is often left to the bride's family including those guests from the groom's side. This is written on a plain white card. Whether the couple uses a standard thank you card or print a personalized one, the wedding etiquette wording should always be sincere, nice and unforgettable. Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding? Getting married these days is very costly. For brides, before you buy from suppliers of your choice or hire the most costly services of makeup artists, wedding coordinators, coutourier, etc, talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss your budget. Before you go bridezilla by demanding this and that for your wedding, determine who pays for your wedding and will cover the largest percentage of your wedding budget. Below are the wedding etiquette on who pays or should pay for your wedding. This will serve as a guide for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what. -- Traditional Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays For the Wedding? Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride's father should pay for the wedding. This was during the time when girls were kept by their fathers inside their house, not allowed to work and go to school, but do household chose and must have lessons from lady manners to teach them social etiquette and wedding etiquette in preparation for their life as married women. A daughter was 'given' out by her father to a boy or a man who his father thought could feed or fend his daughter when he was gone. And since he would be giving his daughter away, he would host his daughter's wedding and pay for everything as a sign of his agreement to his daughter's marriage. This is the traditional wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding. -- Modern Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays For the Wedding Today, wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. The bride and the groom can go traditional, and thus should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses. But since most couples nowadays are both earning their own money, it is not a violation of wedding etiquette if the bride and the groom decide to pay for their own wedding. Some couples prefer to pay for the their own wedding so that they can have more control over the number of guests and who are the persons to invite and how the celebration of the wedding should be held. Wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is, most of the time, being set aside to grant the wishes of the couple and immediate family members. -- Alternative Ways of Paying: Wedding Etiquette Because of the high cost of living these days, paying for the entire cost of the wedding may be beyond the means of the parents of the bride or even of the parents of the groom. If the bride and the groom are earning money for themselves, they may consider paying for the entire expenses fo their wedding. However, there may be parents who would like to contribute to the wedding cost. Brides and grooms should be sensitive with this matter. Don't say no to your parents even if you think they will hand to you everything that they have. It is their joy to see you get married and their pleasure to play a big part of your wedding (that is by shelling out money for the wedding cost). It is more reasonable if you will sit down with your parents and discuss with them the projected costs of your wedding and ask them which part of the wedding expenses would they comfortably want to fund. This way, your parents will have an idea of the exact amount that they will shell out while the two of you, bride and groom, will know how much is it that you still need to raise. Wedding etiquette on who pays for what is not anymore big question these days. The only etiquette that is required of bride and groom is to talk out with their parents the issue of costs or who pays only if the parents have voiced desire to co-host the wedding affair. Wedding Etiquette for the Groom's Parents Weddings are wonderful experiences of two lovers who want to signify their commitment to bond, intentionally, for the rest of their lives. In Western countries, wedding ceremonies are symbolic and overwhelmingly romantic, making the event really expensive, as well. Weddings are lifetime dreams of every woman. Some men also dream of being involved in one, though, the extent and magnitude is not that great compared to girls' longing for it. Because weddings are ceremonies that have evolved through the years to emerge as formal occasions, a lot of symbolic gestures and actions are required from the participants. From the bride to the groom, to the maid of honor and best man, Western culture has come up with universal wedding etiquette for every person in every wedding. This article will inform and acquaint you to the minimal responsibilities given to the groom's parents in every wedding. You will be surprised that the role of the groom's parents are nothing much and intense compared to the role provided to other participants in the wedding. Role of the Groom's Parents The groom's parents are often fall at a loss when asked about the role they will be playing in the wedding of their beloved son. In movies and in real life, it is always assumed that parents of the bride get more emotional during weddings. The assumption is true and is a well-accepted fact. However, the groom's parents should not be seen as parents who should not be shedding tears during weddings. Of course, they should also. It is because they are also sending their beloved offspring or son away. The groom's parents will surely not be familiar of their role in their son's wedding, especially if they had not participated previously in a wedding for a daughter, another son or other siblings. Here are some points and tips for the groom's parents who wish to accomplish their role in the wedding well and with flying colors: * The first wedding etiquette to be followed by the groom's parents is to initiate contact and communication with the bride's family. Introducing themselves to the bride's parents is the groom's parents' first and utmost responsibility. It would be a really, really great gesture to start up good relations between the two families. * It is a role of the groom's parents, as written in wedding etiquettes, to host and pay for the wedding rehearsal dinner. The event should not necessarily be expensive. Simple salad potlucks or simple dinners can do. The groom's parents should also not hold back if they want to impress the bride's family by throwing out elaborate or exotic dinners in the finest restaurants. * To get along with customary wedding etiquettes, the groom's parents can also participate in the planning stage of the wedding. However, the role is almost always limited to just providing timely, appropriate and accurate guest list. The groom's family and relatives should not be overlooked at this very important event. Wedding etiquette for groom's parents during the wedding The father of the groom's responsibilities during weddings are often overlooked. It is because they are just always tasked to escorting the mother of the groom, and that role is still conditional if they are in good relations---that is, they are not divorced. The groom's mother can be busier. Women are very particular to dresses and that is where the groom's mom should first strike. The groom's mom should leave the role of dealing for the bride's dress to the bride's mom. She should also not mind the dresses for the maid of honor or bridesmaids. The groom's mom should only compliment the gowns to be worn by the bride's mom and bridesmaids, not overdo or outdo them. The groom's parents are expected to follow customs and traditions during wedding ceremonies. They will be led by ushers as where they should be seated in the wedding venue. Other important roles for the groom's parents It can be funny, but in the Western or modern culture, the groom's parents are mainly involved just in funding or shouldering wedding-related bills. Among the other things the groom's parents should pay for are the bride's wedding ring, the clergy fees in the church, transportation expenses of groom's men, gifts or tokens for groom's men as well as lodging costs if necessary, gift for the bride and the bouquets, boutonnieres and corsages. Wedding ceremonies are just that---ceremonies. The marriage will not principally depend on the wedding, but a good one will make a good start for the couple. The groom's parents should be as supportive as ever for their beloved son is embarking on a new life. The Top Responsibilities of the Maid of Honor Modern weddings are full of symbolic rituals and a number of key players are assigned particular assignments or titles for the wedding. Basically, the principal players in every wedding are the bride and the groom. They are the ones who assign people to other players or symbolic titles. The groom's best friend and best buddy is named the best man. His counter part, the bride's reliable maiden friend, is the maid of honor. Why maid of honor? Because in the old wedding traditions, brides are expected to be virgins. The old and conservative world had it that virginity equals honor. Thus, maid of honors are people who help the bride retain the big V, which in the old times should be given as a primary gift to the husband. Responsibilities given to the maid of honor All little girls dream to brides someday. Some want to be maid of honor first before finally hitting it big to be brides. Being maid of honor can be a fashionable experience. However, there are some responsibilities or expectations from her. The following list will enumerate 17 of the most common duties the maid of honor should hold accountable to during weddings. 1. You should help the bride address and distribute all wedding invitations to guests. Sometimes, maid of honors are also required to attend wedding announcements. 2. In adherence to traditional wedding etiquettes, maid of honors must try to attend to all the prenuptial parties. Of course, she should not be there during stag parties, unless she has totally gone nuts. 3. If possible, it would be sweet if the maid of honor organize a couple's shower for the soon-to-be bride and groom. 4. Wedding etiquettes have it that the bride should be assisted by the maid of honor when going away to buy the wedding dress. 5. As a sign of good breeding and professionalism, maid of honors are expected to come on time during fitting appointments and rehearsals and any other dates assigned by the bride. 6. Deal with florists for the supply of rose petals that would shower the bride and the groom as they leave the church or the altar. The maid of honor also makes sure that the flower girl is present and knows what she will do with the flowers. 7. On the wedding day, it is strictly written in all wedding etiquette guides that maid of honors arrive at the wedding venue, usually a church, on time or earlier so she can still assist the bride and the brides maids when they are dressing. Be at least 2 hours ahead of everyone. 8. She should brief the best man about his responsibilities. 9. The maid of honor, as wedding etiquettes have it, should take care of the bride's train during the wedding and when she goes to the receiving line. 10. The maid of honor should be kind to hold the wedding bouquet when the ceremony gets to the part when the bride and groom exchange rings. Do not, however, forget to hand back the bouquet after that part. 11. During double ring ceremonies, which seldom happen, she should carry the groom's ring and hand it to the officiating minister. 12. Maid of honor follow traditions and wedding etiquettes to coordinate with the official wedding photographer and assist him in identifying the entourage. Candid shots can be ethical as long as the shots are not hilarious to put the persons involved in compromising and awkward situations. 13. She should be the witness in the signing of the marriage certificate. 14. The maid of honor is expected to stand with the couple in the receiving line. As a sign that she knows anything about wedding etiquettes, she should traditionally stand to the groom's left side and the bridesmaids should stand to her left. 15. Cooperate and coordinate with the best man, and help the bride and the groom depart, at least during certain symbolic rites in the ceremony. 16. The maid of honor should make sure and help out see that the bride's demands or designs suggested for her dress is executed by the tailor. Parting words You, the bride's maid of honor should remember that you have a great responsibility in making sure that the wedding would be wonderful for the bride. Your own maid of honor would do the same when its time for you to be the bride. Good luck! Wedding Etiquette: Invitations Some couples think that wedding invitations are not that important. They think that a wedding invitation it is just a piece of paper that they give out to their wedding guest which will be forgotten afterwards. This is wrong. In fact there is a wedding etiquette even on invitations. This is because wedding invitations give your guests a preview on how your wedding will be celebrated. They will know through wedding invitations what they would wear so they would not commit a violation in wedding etiquette for clothing and dress, and they would know how formal or informal the event may be so they wold know what to expect in the wedding reception. Also, well made wedding invitations will give a lasting impression on your wedding. Your guests will remember you even through your just your wedding invitation. Here are some information on wedding etiquette on invitations: -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 1: What should be the wordings on your invitation? You can go as formal as you like or as informal as you like. Formal wordings are those that we often see on wedding invitations such as: (centered) Mr. and Mrs. John Bates request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rachel Anne Bates to Mr. Matthew James Phoenix son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Phoenix ... You can replace the wordings of the above example and apply your own wordings most especially if it is the couples who will do the inviting. Wedding etiquette on invitations don't prohibit to go as poetic as they want themselves to be or go funny to please their guests as they read the invitation. -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 2: Who should be inviting? Wedding etiquette on invitation is not very rigid. Before, if the father of the bride hosts the wedding, he should be the only person who would do the inviting. But today, couples honor their parents and let them do the inviting and if the couples themselves will fund their own wedding. Wedding etiquette can now be bent on this matter. -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 2: When to send invitations? Wedding etiquette on sending out of invitations must be done four to six weeks before the wedding day. But for couples who prepare their wedding one or two years ahead. Then can send out a save a date invititation since many things will be changed along the way. This is also true for couples who want a wedding with wedding destination theme. Wedding etiquette makes it clear that invitations must be sent out earlier than four to six weeks, in fact even six months ahead, so that the guests can make their own hotel reservations ahead of time But remember, the save a date card is not yet the proper invitation. It is a violation of wedding etiquette to replace a proper wedding invitation with a save a date card. Save a date card just serve as an initial announment about your upcoming wedding. You should give your guests the courtesy to inform them of the exact venue of wedding celebration and reception, the attire and the date and time. -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 3: Remove the tissues that come with engraved invitations. These tissues ar meant to protect the paper from getting ink smudges before the invitation are delivered at your doorstep. It is a wedding etiquette no-no to include them in your invitation. It will ruin the look of your wedding invitation. -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 3: On the issue of registry cards, wedding etiquette on invitation is very clear that registry cards should not be included in the invitation. You may indicate that you have an online registry if you have any and you can ask your guests to visit your online registry. But its a wedding etiquette on invitation blunder if you insert your wedding registry cards. Remember that gifts should always come as a surprise, pleasant or not? -- Wedding Etiquette On Invitations Fact 4: Forget RSVP cards. Your guests are adults and should know how to respond to an invitation. There is also wedding etiquette for guests in anwering invitations. They should respond to a formal or informal wedding invite as soon as they get them and response should not be later than two weeks before the wedding. Doing the Wedding Invitation Weddings should be well-planned. Any bride or groom will not want the one important event in her and his life to be just ordinary. That is why it is important for would-be-wed couples to be enlightened and follow several wedding etiquettes. A lot of mistakes, misdeeds and bad gestures almost always ruin or spoil weddings. Be it on the part of the bride and the groom, the parents, the guests or even the bride's maids and groom's men, there are wedding and proper etiquettes that could be adhered to. Wedding etiquettes are important so people can show to others that they have been raise well and with good and proper breeding. People's actions also speak a lot about a person, and most uf us want others to speak good of us. Wedding etiquettes: From the top Wedding etiquettes are followed even during the initial stage or phase of the wedding---the planning and short listing of guests. Today, soon-to-be-wed couples are almost always hiring wedding planners to take care of even the smallest details of the forth coming wedding. But there are still several aspects where the couple should attend to personally. For one, doing the wedding invitation should not be left to the wedding planners. The soon-to-be-wed couple should make sure that their wedding invitation is personalized. Of course, they are overjoyed in their coming blissful matrimony, and it should show and be conveyed through the wedding invitation. Sincerity of wordings and aesthetic style of the wedding invitation will certainly do a lot of wonders. There are a few other mediums the couple could use today to convey invitations to short listed guests. For one, the guests can be reached through e-mail. E-mails are almost always informal. Through this, the language used is more personalized, thus, sincerity can be truly and freely conveyed. Another informal channel if conveying wedding invitations is through word of mouth, or the gossip factory. Words spread faster than we know. Through this, the invitation is conveyed in the third person manner. For example, a forth coming wedding of John and Gina is conveyed through the following word of mouth entry: "Hey, John and Gina are tying the knot this Saturday, 6 pm at the Imperial Suites. I heard the couple's wedding would be strictly formal." Doing the formal wedding invitation Most wedding experts and life stylists still recommend formal wedding invitations over other forms of invites. Formal wedding invitations will convey sincerity, style and seriousness. But did you know that the words used in wedding invitations will equally hold a great weight or bearing as that of the message itself? In adherence to numerous and multiple wedding etiquette guides, the words in the wedding invitation should be written in the third person. Meaning, the pronouns used should be he, she, him, her, their, them. The invitations, bearing the third-person writing format should strictly be printed on heavyweight cream, white or ivory paper. Even the font style should be paid much attention to. According to several wedding etiquette books, traditional and formal wedding invitations should be using classic style letter fonts like Roman. More on wordings for wedding invitations In our modern times, the couple usually pays for all the costs of the wedding. But did you know that traditionally, it is the bride's parents who carry the burden? Western wedding etiquettes have it that the parents of both the bride and the groom can shoulder the expenses for the coming wedding. This may not be economical and likely on the part of the parents, but that is wedding etiquette, and the tradition must live on. Usually, since the parents are the one covering the wedding and the reception, wedding invitations are written, still in the third person style, but as if the parents are one the inviting the guests. To illustrate clearly how wedding invitations should be worded in accordance to wedding etiquette guidelines, check on the following examples: Traditional third-person wedding invitation styles -- When the bride's parents are the hosts: Mr and Mrs Robert Murdoch Request your honorable presence At the wedding of their one and only daughter Cheryl Murdoch to Mr Joseph Stokes -- When both the bride's and the groom's parents are hosting: Mr and Mrs Robert Murdoch and Mr and Mrs Ronnie Stokes Request your honorable presence At the wedding of their one and only daughter Cheryl Murdoch to Mr Joseph Stokes The examples above show clear and formal invitations in the third person style. So there. If you are planning to get married, pay attention to the invitations you would be distributing. Remember, the wedding invitations should be the first statements you would be releasing as a couple to a number of guests, relatives and friends. Wedding Etiquette: The Name Order on Invitations Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful but fulfilling event in a person's life. While you are considering which venue your wedding reception should be held, you should also consider wedding etiquette along the preparations to avoid seeing raised eyebrows and hearing snide remarks from your wedding guests. Since a wedding won't start without invited guests, you should learn the wedding etiquette on invitations' name order. Yeah, you might say, do I still need to bother with wedding etiquette on invitations' name order when I need to accomplish more pressing matters such as how should my wedding party be celebrated? I hate to say this, but you should give your wedding invitation a great deal of time. It is the very first thing that guests would see before the wedding itself and it may be the cause of not so nice confrontation with relatives who believe in traditional way of celebrating wedding ,which includes old fashioned wedding etiquette and even invitations' name order. Don't be a hard head on this matter. Even if you claim you are the bride of the new millenia, pay for your own wedding, and know how to arrange your own wedding without the help of your old fashioned relatives, you still need to consider the feelings of an old grandmother, or an ailing aunt who wants to have some billing on your wedding invitation. All you have to do is to learn the basis wedding etiquette and invitations' name order. This way, you will be headache free from demanding but loveable relatives. What you should know about wedding invitation and announcement etiquette? You should learn the following: * Wedding Etiquette on Wedding Invitations' Name Order o Wedding Etiquette on Wedding Invitations' Wording and Addressing o Assembling My Own Wedding Invitations o Wedding Etiquette on the When and the How of Sending Out My Wedding Invitations o Wedding Etiquette on the How of Mailing Wedding Invitations You could learn all this by reading Emily Post's book on Wedding Etiquette. It is available in Barnes and Nobles and Amazon stores. It is the best primer for everything that has got to do with wedding etiquette. We have some few suggestions below about wedding etiquette on wedding invitations' name order if you are now preparing for your wedding invitations. * Wedding Etiquette on Wedding Invitations' Name Order Wedding etiquette on wedding invitations' name order dictates that whoever is the host of the wedding -- he, she or they -- should be on the top of the billing and is or are the person requesting for the presence of the guests. * Here's a wedding etiquette on wedding invitations' name order the traditional style when it is the bride's parents who are hosting: (centered) Attorney and Mrs. John Bates request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rachel Anne Bates to Mr. Matthew James Phoenix .... * What's the wedding etiquette on wedding invitations' name order when the bride's parents are hosting and the bride wants to include the groom's parents in the billing? (centered) Mr. and Mrs. John Bates request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rachel Anne Bates to Mr. Matthew James Phoenix son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Phoenix ... * If both the parents will pay for the wedding, here's the wedding etiquette on the invitations' name order: (centered) Mr. and Mrs. John Bates and Mr. and Mrs. Robert Phoenix request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Rachel Anne Bates to Mr. Matthew James Phoenix ... * If the bride or groom wish to honor and add on the invitation the name of a deceased parent, below is the wedding etiquette on invitations' name order: Mrs. John Bates requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Rachel Anne Bates also daughter of the late Mr. John Bates to Mr. Matthew James Phoenix son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Phoenix (son of Mr. Robert Phoenix and the late Mrs. Sarah Phoenix) ... Or, in the alternative, Rachel Anne Bates daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Bates (or daughter of Mrs. Julia Bates and the late Mr. John Bates) and Mr. Matthew James Phoenix son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Phoenix (son of Mr. Robert Phoenix and the late Mrs. Sarah Phoenix) Wedding Etiquette on Hotel Rooms A wedding with wedding destination theme has been gaining popularity these days. Couples are choosing a wedding venue far from home. Invited guests are mostly close friends and families who would take the trouble to do a long drive or fly to the wedding venue just to attend the wedding celebration. Wedding venues for wedding destination are usually being held on a beach, a botanical garden, or scenic spots. These places are offered to public for a fee to use the place for wedding ceremony or wedding reception. But most of these wedding destination venues do not offer a place where the bride, groom, the wedding party and wedding guests may stay before the wedding day. This is the reason why nearby hotels are fully booked even a week before the wedding. The bride, groom, the rest of the wedding party and the wedding guests are expected to behave and follow wedding etiquette on use of hotel rooms. Yes, wedding etiquette must be observed when using hotel rooms. For one thing, if you are a bride or a groom and you violated wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms, you will create bad impression on your family name even before the two of you gets married. Or if you are a member of the wedding party or you are a wedding guest and you violated a wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms, you are giving the newly weds a bad name when you should have been helping them create a good name by themselves. Below are some basic wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms when you have or attending a wedding with wedding destination theme: -- Wedding etiquette on Proper use of Hotel Rooms Before the Wedding Day 1. The very basic wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms is that the bride and the groom should not share the same suite. Yes, people know that you love each other very much (that is why you are getting married, right?), but please, please save your energy for your wedding day, would you? You can do whatever you want after the wedding day and you have all the time in the world to spend days and nights in each other's arms. Besides, there is this old tradition that the bride and the groom should not see each other the night before the wedding day or that the groom should not see the bride in her wedding dress because the wedding will be called of. If you are sharing the same suite, of course the groom would see the bride not just in her wedding dress but as she wears it. So, for just once, follow the old saying even if it is just a superstition just to avoid seeing raised eyebrows from your family and wedding guests. You might even bring your parents or old relatives to a heart attack if you break this old tradition. Another wedding etiquette in hotel is that brides should refrain from being a bridezilla to the roomboys, chambermaids, and other hotel personnel. Although it is true that the hotel have got fully booked because of your wedding, you should also remember that you don't employ them, much more own them. You should not ask them to run errands that are not related to their work anymore or shout at them when they can't give you your demands as fast as you want them to be. Stop acting like as though you were the most precious person around because you are getting married in a few hours. Act like a blushing bride with right wedding etiquette and not the other way around. -- Wedding etiquette on Proper use of Hotel Rooms After the Wedding Day 2. Refrain from getting yourself some hotel souvenirs. If you are a bride, don't mar your newly acquired surname by stealing items that you can easily buy from a department store. If you are a guest, please restrain your hands from stealing ash trays, towels or comforters as a memento or souvenir. They are not wedding keepsakes from the bride and the groom. Do not worry, the newlyweds have something special for you. Basic Wedding Etiquette For Out Of Town Weddings He proposed and you said yes. After deciding to have an out of town wedding, now comes the most stressful part of the entire engagement: the wedding preparations. As a member of the event, whether as the celebrants, the entourage, family or guests, it is important to know that everyone must observe wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. For the celebrants: Gift wedding etiquette for out of town weddings are the same as any church wedding. The couple is not allowed to open the gifts before the actual wedding date. This makes it easier to return them should the event be cancelled because of unforeseen circumstances. And like any proper wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, all gifts must be returned when something like that happens. It is a formality that if the couple has a preference for monetary gifts, as a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, it is advised not to print it on the invitation. A spreading it by "word of mouth" is much more appreciated. Another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings is to get a bridal registry. As this is done even before going out of town, there is no problem with signing up and setting it in your favorite store. Looking for a hotel where all the guests, family and entourage can stay is a very important wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. Choose those near the wedding location, with good amenities and affordable group rates. For the bride: The bride is usually asked to follow wedding traditions. As a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, this is no exemption. The bride is forbidden to see the groom for 24 hours before the wedding ceremony. This is said to increase the longing and anticipation for the event itself. The bridesmaids must also be aware of the wedding etiquette for out of town weddings when throwing a bridal shower. The best time to throw the party is a week or three days before the big event. Bridal shower wedding etiquette for out of town weddings can be as innocent as a trip to the spa or as wild as a stop at the local men's strip club. Giving the bride a bachelorette gift is optional. For the groom: Since men are not as concerned about the details as the women, the groom's wedding etiquette for out of town weddings are kept to a minimum. First, he should be helpful to the wedding coordinator and give them whatever they need to make the out of town wedding a success. Second, he should handle the men and try to avoid any conflicts that alcohol or other issues may arise before the event. And lastly, the groom's wedding etiquette for out of town weddings is to show up at the altar on the wedding date. Stag parties thrown by the groom's friends can get rowdy. Depending on their budget, parties like this happen in hotels or strip joints. The groom must remember the bachelor party wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. The sacred rule of "look but don't touch" must be carried out to the letter. Should anything else happen on that night, only the groom and his friends can say. Another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings for stag parties is secrecy. We can only hope that he comes away from the experience gaining a deeper appreciation and love for you. For the entourage: A wedding etiquette for out of town weddings concerning the members of the entourage is to make sure that they have all their gowns, suits and accessories ready. Last minute accidents like a broken heels or ripping dresses are unavoidable so be prepared for anything. Being on time is another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. Since the place is unfamiliar to you, make sure you get to the wedding location about five to ten minutes before the ceremony. If you have not rehearsed the entrance, this buys you enough time to look around and get acquainted with the place. For the guests: As a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, you can make it a special event for yourself by turning it into a mini-vacation. But remember that you are there, first and foremost, at the couple's request. Sharing in their love and celebration is your obligation and you should do everything to help make the day special for them. One of the best decisions for a couple is to get a wedding coordinator to handle all the preparations for you. The wedding etiquette for out of town weddings does not require that it should be handled by a third-party. But sometimes a fresh perspective and a commanding personality is what a big event like this needs. All the bride should be doing is to relax and be ready for her walk down the aisle. Wedding Etiquette For a Second Marriage What if your heart beats again for the second time? Scary, isn't it? Many questions pop-up your mind especially now that he proposed marriage to you. The first question that your mind have formed was what is the wedding etiquette for a second marriage? It is a tough question but it needs to be answered. Learning the wedding etiquette for a second marriage will help you lessen the pressure and tension that your first family (which you love so much) have unconsciously thrown at your back. You need to carry the situation like any sensible adult. Before, it is a popular thought that second marriage should not be elaborate, extravagant and formal the way a first marriage is celebrated. But today, this belief does not hold true anymore. You can still aim for an intimate, smaller and quieter second marriage but you can also celebrate a festive one, if you prefer and your budget allows you to do so. What is important is that your second marriage is celebrated the way you would want it to be. Don't limit yourself and do what others expect you to do for a second marriage. Remember, it is you who will get wed and not them. Besides, you would not violate any wedding etiquette by following your heart's desires. Here are some information for you on wedding etiquette for a second marriage. -- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage: Announcing Your Engagement In getting wed for the second time, your major concerns will be the second marriage's effect on your children, if you have any, and to your close relatives. If you plan to remarry, your children should know first of your decision. You must ready your children for having a new family and new brothers and sisters. Uniting two families will not be stressful for you but for your children, most especially. The next to be informed are your parents. Of course, they need to be in your wedding and informing them is a sign of courtesy to them. Next will be your ex, especially if you have arranged joint custody for the children. He should know that there will be some changes in your household. Also, you should wear your new engagement ring. There mustn't have any trace of old flames on your fingers the moment you begin planning and announcing your second wedding. -- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage: Dress Issue Widow brides who are getting married for the second time are expected to wear lilac or lavender dress. But these does not hold true nowadays. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage gives bride a chance to wear white dress again. Divorced brides can also wear white dress although they could remove the veil and tiara and instead simply wear flowers on your head. -- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage: Who to Invite? When planning for your second wedding, think that you can invite any person you want to attend to your wedding. Refrain from inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you are on good terms with them. Guests may also feel awkward seeing and being around them. If your children, however, requested that their father should be in the wedding, try to talk them out about it and tell them how awkward it would feel for the new in-laws and the new groom to see an ex-spouse around. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage does not obligate you to invite an ex-spouse to your second wedding, although you may do so if the situation warranted. But if your new groom agrees to the idea of inviting an ex-spouse as requested by the children and your ex-spouse agreed on it, then you may invite your ex-spouse to attend your second wedding. But there is a more sensible idea than inviting your ex-spouse to your wedding. Invite him to a dinner, perhaps at your home, with your children and new husband, if he is up to it. Tell your children that the dinner replaces the wedding invitation and your children may finally agree on not invitating their father on the wedding day. You may do this before or after your wedding or honeymoon. The Bride's or Groom's Father has a Girlfriend Situation 1. Martha was about to get married. On the wedding day, she, her mother, her bridesmaids and her father's girlfriend went to the beauty parlor to have their hair done. Upon arrival, they have learned that only one stylist was present. The situation created a commotion. The father's girlfriend, being so vain and inconsiderate was the first to manage her hair done. Of course, the mom and the bridesmaids fumed in anger. Situation 2. Albert was the groom. His father has a current hot girlfriend. The girlfriend was almost of Albert's age and is obviously just after fun. In short, it was apparent his father's girlfriend and his dad are just having a fling. Should the girl be invited to the wedding? There you go. Wedding situations can sometimes get really petty. If you are a bride's or a groom's father's girlfriend, consider your position. Do not ruin some people's precious moments. Do not settle to steal wedding thunders. Adopt a mature stance even just for the wedding occasion. Dilemmas The usual dilemmas brides and grooms encounter involving their father's girlfriends and their moms will be discussed in this section. Let us consider this situation. Dory's father has a girlfriend. He threatens that he will not attend or show up at the wedding if the girlfriend will not be invited. In short, the father wants to display his sexual prowess by tagging along his hot girlfriend in the wedding. Inviting them both will never be a problem, Dory thought. But the situation got complicated when Dory got to talk to her mother. Telling the mom of her father's demand, the mother, of course, got really really angry. There will be no way she can be at the wedding if her father will bring along his girlfriend. The world seems too tight for the three people. What should Dory do? It is like asking her who she loves more, her father or her mother? Adhering to the wedding etiquettes, Dory should not choose one. She should instead strategize to avoid being made to choose. As a wedding etiquette, fathers and mothers should be in the wedding. For Dory's case, she just told her mom and dad that they would not want to ruin the occasion just because of a tiny dispute. It worked. Of course, the mom, the dad, and his girlfriend will never get along, but Dory made sure the three will not meet face to face during the occasion. That way, the wedding moved smoothly. No cakes were thrown and no one screamed at each other. What if the father's girlfriend is for the long-term? Bride's or groom's father's girlfriends are not always on the downside. Sometimes there are these girlfriends who are meant or intended to be long time partners. If that is the case, wedding etiquettes have it that the girlfriend be invited to the wedding. Anyways, she will be a part of the family soon so she should start her function early. Make sure the ex-wife and the current girlfriend of the bride's or groom's father know that each other would attend so both of them will not be surprised. Remember, it is during surprising moments that hot-tempered women act impulsively. Short-term or flings If the father's girlfriend is apparently just a fling or just a short-term relationship, and if the father's divorce with the mom is not yet through, explain to the father the situation. Tell him the sanctity of marriage will be symbolized in the ceremony. Tell him, though it may sound not really nice, that bringing in a date especially since he is not yet totally divorced would degrade the solemnity and sanctity of the sacrament. Explain that whether you dislike his girlfriend or you do like her, people will still see him married to the mother. So he should spare his girlfriend from embarrassment by not bringing her along. The girlfriend might just feel that she is not invited to the wedding anyways. Fathers should be more understanding because they are assumed to be more mature and wise. Thus, if you are a bride or a groom in those situations, find the strength to deal with the matter with grace and patience. Be diplomatic and talk it out. This will save you your wedding day. Wedding Etiquette: For the Father of the Groom's Girlfriend During the 1800 to 1900, the wedding etiquette is that the father of the groom's girlfriend should pay for the wedding expenses. Everything that has to be paid should be paid by the father of the groom's girlfriend. This was the wedding etiquette before because it is the father of the groom's girlfriend who will decide on everything that her daughter should do, including approval of the man she would marry, the date of the marriage, and how her marriage should be celebrated. You may now ask, why was it that girls agree to this wedding etiquette and allow their father to decide for themselves? Is this wedding etiquette still applicable up to this time? This wedding etiquette was not being questioned during those times. Any decision by the father of the groom's bride is always respected. Even the bride themselves did not think that they were being oppressed. They thought and believe that they were being taken care of fully. During those times, the father of the grooms bride feed his daughter, took care of her and brought her to lady manners school to learn and practice the right way of socializing, dressing, and speaking. Every teenage daughters in a middle to upper class families were required to attend finishing schools. This was done to teach the bride the proper wedding etiquette and to ready her for the life of a married lady. So, when the father had decided that her daughter was ready to get married, he will announce his daughter's debut and would held a party for her to announce her coming of age. All suitors would be, of course, under the father's scrutinizing eye. He will only accept suitors that he thinks could feed and take care of her daughter. If the father has chosen the suitor of his choice and his daughter agrees, the engagement will be announced. Because of wedding etiquette, the father of the groom's bride won't ask a single penny from the father or parents of the groom. The father of the groom's bride should have saved enough money to celebrate the wedding of his daughter in the way her daughter wants it and the way he, the father, wants it to be held. So, if he wants an extravagant and festive wedding celebration complete with ball, he should save have saved money the moment he learnt that her child is a she. Today, however, things have changed. Because of high cost of living and that the brides are not too dependent on their father or parents and are earning their own money as well, the wedding etiquette has bent slightly. Although the modern wedding etiquette does not stop the father of the groom's girlfriend to pay for the wedding, he is not compelled to refuse the help of the groom's parents or their desire to co-host the wedding. Getting married these days is very costly and it requires a great fortune on the part of the father of the groom's girlfriend. Everyone can contribute to the wedding, financially and of services. The modern wedding etiquetted does not oblige or compel the father of the groom's girlfriend to shoulder the entire wedding expenses, most especially if he now has a new family and young children that he needs to feed. The traditional wedding etiquette, the father of the groom's girlfriend paying for the wedding cost, may still be done these days only by fathers with great fortune. Daughters should be understanding enough of these situations. In fact even the groom and her girlfriend can finance their own wedding without the help of their parents. With couples these days preparing their wedding ahead, a year or two, they can have an ample time to save cash for their wedding. But if the father of the groom's girlfriends has decided to co-host the wedding, the bride and the groom should be sensitive of their feelings and should accept the offered help. Parents want to be part of the most special day of their child and we should not deny them in satisfying themselves by helping out cover some wedding costs. Weddings Brings Back The Love For Divorced Parents Dealing with divorced parent in a wedding can be tricky and complicated. While coping with the situation will be stressful particularly for the brides, having a beautiful wedding despite having divorced parents is never impossible. Divorced parents of the bride or groom should participate in the wedding ceremony. In addition, they also to the rehearsal dinner even if they will likely act horribly. Not inviting the parents will create more trouble. The parents may or may not have to host the rehearsal dinner, which is supposedly one of the most relaxing portions of the wedding process. Indicating in an Invitation - The name of the mother is the first written then followed by the father. The word "AND" cannot be used between the names. - The names of the mother and stepfather can be written in the invitation if the father has not been involved in the life of the bride or groom since she/he was a baby. - The individuals whose names are appearing on the invites do not have to be always the ones paying for the wedding despite popular belief. Sharing in costs The couple should consider opening a checking account that will solely contain expenses for the wedding. The divorced parents should be asked on how much they can contribute. It is advisable to ask a check for a lump sum that will be deposited to the wedding account in order to make the money easily accessible whenever it is needed. Seating arrangement If the divorced parents are not speaking with each other, it is advisable that the two should be seated apart from the each other. One of them might be attending with someone the other parent cannot be comfortable with. Etiquette dictates that mother and stepfather occupy the first row, while father and stepmother sit on the second row. However, the divorced parents can be seated with each other if they are on good terms but will likely have to stay in different areas during the reception. No families are the same, as each has different problems and scenarios that affect relationships. Communication is the most important way to keep relationships strong. The couple have a responsibility of keeping the divorced informed about the progress of the wedding and they should also be given a chance to contribute. Never compare the behaviour of one parent to another, as this could result in conflict. A wedding ceremony follows certain etiquette in order to make the occasion flow seamlessly. - In a semi-private wedding, bridesmaids and groomsmen should perform certain responsibilities in assisting the bride and groom. - The bridesmaids should obviously be younger than the bride and their outfils should complement each other. The dresses of the bridesmaids can include more ornaments and composed of light and graceful fabric. Flowers should serve as the main decoration. - The wedding gown should be very simple but can be combined with few jewels or ornaments coming from the parents or groom. The most attractive part of the dress should be the garland and veil. - The bridesmaids should help the bride in wearing the wedding gown and attending to guests. Bridemaids should position themselves at the bride's left side during the ceremony. The first bridesmaid should be responsible in keeping the bouquet and gloves. - Bridesmaids can be positioned from the tallest to the shortest from the couple in order to be symmetrical. A bridesmaid and groomsman with similar height can be paired with each other. - The groomsmen are assigned to receive the clergyman and then lead him to the couple. They should be positioned groom's right side during the wedding ceremony. Ceremony in Church The bride enters from the left side walking with her father followed by her bridesmaids. The groom enters the room from the right and is followed by his groomsmen. The parents come from behind the entourage, while the attendants can stand from either side. The glove of the bride does not need to be snug, as it will be taken off later in the ceremony. In addition, the ring should be placed where the groom can easily see it to avoid delaying the ceremony. A Western Flare For Your Wedding Applying a western theme to you wedding is a sure way to make that special occasion a truly memorable. From country music to cowboy hats, this theme is designed to make your gets feel like they are back in the old wild west and party all night screaming "Yee-haw"! A western wedding also means that parts of the ceremony will be made outdoors. Ideal locations include parks and back yards. A mountainous area will make a perfect back drop if you live in the West. If not, other locations to hold your western wedding include an old barnhouse, grange hall or dance hall. Watching some western movies will help give you an idea on what you should be wearing. Based on wedding etiquette, the bride can wear a Victorian dress if you truly want that Old West look. For a more contemporary look, go for lace or denim. The cowboy can be decorated with a cowboy hat with a little touch of craft glue. The groom can wear cowboy boots, hats and bolo ties. Western ornaments can be found in antique shops and flea market. These can be used as decoration. Ask the bridesmaids and groomsmen to look for such items in order to get themselves acquainted. Using a horse is a nice way to add some serious spice to a western wedding. The bride and groom can each ride a horse and can even express their vows while on horseback. If possible, rent a horse-and-carriage to ride away from the ceremony afterwards. The could should make a list western music they would like to play during the festivities. Country artists that can be considered include Johnny Cash, Randy Travis, Lyle Lovett, Emmylou Harris, Tammy Wynette and the Dixie Chicks. A special wedding CD can be given to guests if you feel generous. Each time they listen to the music they will remember your special day. Western delicacies can also be serves and cooking them during the even itself will give guests a taste of the West. An open-pit barbecue is advisable, and will release a hickory scent. Coleslaw, baked potato and beans can go with the barbecue. During the evening, a nice warm bonfire can be used to toast marshmallows and skewers from the cowboys and cowgirls chilling around. Cowboy Hats For Weddings NATURAL MULTI TAN ROLLED EDGE BRIM CASUAL COWBOY HAT Simple hat has matching colors flowing throughout it's weave. Soft and pliable to the touch because of its poly braids. Continuous use of the hat helps improves its condition. Can be easily shaped and ideal for staying at the beach, shopping, sporting events or any casual outings. Size One size fits most Special Features Grosgrain sweatband Brim Size (approx). 3.5" inches at widest point Circumference (approx).22" inches Colors within this hat Tan with beige stripes, crème and yellow Material 100% Polyester Origin Imported Peter Grimm Drifter Straw Cowboy Hat This cowboy hat for weddings is made of Flat Morocca Straw. Features an Elastic Sweatband for moisure-wicking and comfort. Has metal eyelets and the hat has a Pre-curved Brim for ultimate comfort. The Brim has a flexible wire inside making it simple to shape. This hat is similarly designed like the well-known Shady Brady, but not as expensive. TAN & GOLD BENDED BRIM AMBER BEADED BAND COWBOY HAT A cowboy hat for glitz and shimmer. A metallic embossed blended paper braid shapeable cowboy hat. Ideal for those that lounge around the beach or a concert or clubs. This hat is designed with an attractive faux amber and antiqued gold ornate chain, which dangles off the back to make it more beautiful. ARDEN B LILAC STRAW COWGIRL SEXY This attractive hat from Arden B is created with of knit straw and dye giving it that somewhat worn out look. Comes with folded sides and elastic to help fit most head sizes. The Right Way to Dress: Wedding Etiquette for Clothing In our modern society, no one would care if you break a small rule or bend some rules to make accommodate your wishes. And this also applies to wedding ettiquette + clothing. You can break some wedding etiquette rule according to your wishes. Although old and traditional rules have now been modified, you should learn the basic wedding etiquette on clothing before you bend some and break some. Below are some guide for you, bride-to-be, on wedding etiquette + clothing: -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bride Traditionally the bride wears white. This is said to signify virginal purity and innocence. But these days there's a slight changes in wedding etiquette on clothing for bride. Brides are now allowed to wear a variation of white, such as ivory, creme, and pale pastel colors to match the wedding's color motif. For a widow bride who will wed for the second time, the tradition is for a bride to wear lilac or lavander. However, modern brides don't follow this tradition faithfully. Even ministers and priests allow widow brides to wear wedding dress that they feel appropriate. In fact modern wedding etiquette + clothing on widow bride is cream or ivory colored wedding dress. For a church wedding, brides are asked to wear formal and more traditional wedding dress. The old wedding etiquette on clothing for church wedding has been kept for centuries although the church do allow creme colored wedding dress and a tube and low back style wedding dress as long as the shoulders are draped with semi-transparent cloth or the veil covers it. With wedding that will be held at the registry office or which is more know as the civil wedding ceremony, brides are allowed to wear any wedding dress that they like. Simple evening dress may do, even your regular working clothes may do. With civil wedding ceremony, the rule on wedding etiquette + clothing do not apply. Of course, if you want to avoid cringing at your photograph when people look at it or if you yourself look at it in the future, don't try to wear a wedding dress that don't look good at you. Forget the wedding etiquette on clothing, just follow the few good teachings of street smart sensibilities. Extreme fashion didn't look good yesterday and won't look good today and tomorrow. The wedding etiquette on clothing if the bride is formally dressed, the rest of the wedding party and wedding guests should be formally dressed. -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Groom The traditional wedding etiquette on clothing for the groom, the male members of the family and the groomsmen should wear morning dress. For evening weddings the modern wedding etiquette on clothing for groom is Tuxedo and black bow tie. For civil ceremonies, groom may wear suit or match the dress theme of his bride. If his bride will sport a summer look, he should wear a soft, flowing, linen polo and beige cotton pants to match his bride's summer get-up. -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bridesmaids Wedding etiquette on clothing for bridesmaid dictates that bridesmaids should wear any dress that the bride chooses for them. However, bridesmaids may choose to dress differently with each other. It is acceptable that bridesmaids have different dress the designs. The only thing that they should maintain is the color of the dress. They should wear the same color, the color that the bride requires. -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Male Attendants Ushers and best man cannot choose the dress that they want. They will dress the same as the groom. If the groom wears a morning dress or a tuxedo and a black bow tie, then so will they. -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Immediate Family Any close family will dress formally. The two mothers, that of the bride and the groom, must not both wear dress of the same color, while the fathers wear any dress that the groom chooses. The choices, however, is just between black tie and morning dress. -- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Guests The invitation speaks what guests should wear. A formal invitation requires them to wear a formal attire. Modern wedding etiquette on clothing for guests has allowed male guests to wear black tie even if the wedding is a bit informal. For the female guests, they are now allowed to wear evening dress to match their partner's black tie. In Your Honor: The Maid Of Honor The task of selecting the Maid of Honor is one of the most difficult decisions that has to be made by the bride. The complexity is due to the fact that the duties of the Maid are normally not defined and typically poorly addressed. Every bride actually has her own opinion on what how a Maid of Honor should act. However, communicating these ideas are difficult. The Main of Honor is commonly perceived as a ceremonial figure that walks behind the bride down the aisle before the bridesmaids. In another light, the Maid of Honor can act, as the one that will help calm a nervous bride, helps in sending out invitations, making sure the registry is properly sent, gives tips on the how the wedding gown should look like and acts as the manager of the bridesmaids. The Maid of Honor can also host the bridal shower or the bachelorette party. To sum it up, the Maid of Honor is the bride's closest friend or ally in preparing for the wedding and will always be there during times of need and frustration. The following are certain etiquette in choosing a Maid of Honor to help minimize stress and maximize pleasure. The Maid of Honor does not have to be a family member. It is not a requirement to make a sister or a female cousin the Maid of Honor. A best friend who has been there through thick and thin will likely deserve this distinction. The bride should instruct the Maid of Honor on her responsibilities. Brides should communicate what they expect from the Maid of Honor such as making a speech during the reception. Open communication between the two should happen frequently. Choosing more than one Maid of Honor is not illegal. The bride should make sure that Maids of Honor have different responsibilities in order to avoid jealousy between them. The Maid of Honor needs to attend all-wedding activities such as showers and parties for the bride. She will also be tasked to plan and be financially responsible for any bachelorette party and assist in organizing invitations and always be open for favors. The Maid of Honor's emotional support is one her integral responsibilities. As the so-called "maid" she is expected to give her full attention to the bride during the wedding day. She should also make sure that the bride is looking almost perfect before they troop down the aisle and constantly check on her condition during the middle and end of the ceremonies up until the start of the reception. Upon choosing the Maid of Honor, she should be treated out by the bride to a nice dinner or spa to make her feel she is a very important part of the wedding. The Maid of Honor could have a dress designed differently from the other bridesmaids to make her stand out in the entourage. Etiquette also dictates that the Maid of Honor will wear the groom's ring on her finger in the absence of a ring bearer. She is also part of the group that will decorate the bridal car and help the bride in wearing the bridal dress. A wedding ceremony adhered to certain etiquette to make the occasion flow seamlessly and orderly. - In a semi-private wedding, groomsmen and bridesmaids are given certain responsibilities in helping the bride and groom during the wedding day. - The bridesmaids should be younger than the bride and their dresses should match. Bridesmaid dresses can include more ornaments and should be composed of light and graceful material. Flowers should functions as the chief decoration. - The wedding dress should be simple but can be attached with small jewels or ornaments. The garland and veil should be the most eye-catching. - Bridesmaids should stay at the bride's left side during the actual wedding ceremony. The first bridesmaid should hold the bouquet and gloves. - Bridesmaids can be positioned from the shortest to the tallest in order to be symmetrical. A bridesmaid and groomsman with similar height can be paired. - The groomsmen are assigned to guide the clergyman and then show him to the couple. The groomsmen should stand at the groom's right side during the wedding ceremony. Wedding Etiquette: Cash Bar Wedding Parties Open bar wedding party has been gaining popularity these days because more and more couples have been celebrating an evening wedding. With open bar, guests are free to order any brand of drink to their liking without limit as to how many shots or glasses they should order. However, some couples with limited budget see cash bar as the best option for them. As opposed to open bar, guests must pay for every drink that they order in a cash bar wedding party. The newly weds won't be held liable for a guest's non-payment of a drink ordered. Guests should leave a bill for a drink the way a customer does when he ordered a drink in a local bar. If you, a groom or bride-to-be, are concerned with wedding etiquette, wedding etiquette specialists will tell you not to go for a cash bar. If you would be graded for a wedding etiquette examination, saying yes to a cash bar has a grade of zero. For specialists on wedding etiquette, cash bar is not an option even for couples who are tight on a budget. Since cash bar violates wedding etiquette, wedding etiquette specialists say that you should expect snide remarks from your guests if you pursue a cash bar wedding party. You might even hear them saying things like, the newly wed do not know wedding etiquette, or if they couldn't afford an open bar, they shouldn't have hosted a cocktail party at all and they should have stayed with a sit down dinner. Guests who would make such a remark obviously are unaware of wedding etiquette too. But just the same, we cannot silence them for making such remarks. Some wedding etiquette books even say that if you are thinking of a cash bar night party, make a pass for a night party; it's better not to have a night party at all if it would be a cash bar. - Solution to Cash Bar There is a solution though to cash bar. According to books on wedding etiquette, you can implement the semi-open bar. With this strategy, you won't worry about violating wedding etiquette through cash bar and you won't need a big budget to throw an open bar wedding party. Wedding etiquette specialists would recommend you to open bar the first two drinks to your wedding guests and cash bar the ordered drinks thereafter. Two drinks are considered socially acceptable standards for social drinking. In implementing the semi open, semi cash bar wedding party, you have satisfied the needs of guests expecting you to practice wedding etiquette while at the same time you have satisfied yourself for not spending too much. Many couples who are not limited on a budget implement the two-drink open bar and cash bar afterwards cocktail or evening wedding party. This is to avoid excessive drinking from wedding guests, and for wedding guests to maintain social composure.
Wedding Etiquette Book A wedding etiquette book will usually extend the pages so as to meet the quota of its publishers. It is a good thing, however, to have at least a guideline of what a reader can expect from a wedding etiquette book. Enumerated and listed below are the topics and subjects that one will expect from reading a wedding etiquette book. A good wedding etiquette book will usually cover the topics or subjects listed below. This article desires to help readers or couples who want to know what to expect in a wedding etiquette book. Basic reading of the topics or subjects listed below will give a reader a simple guide to go through while searching for the necessities in weddings. This article was written based from a proper and orderly wedding etiquette set in the American way and is sourced from a wedding etiquette book. Readers are encouraged to use teh article as a sort of guide to help and aid with the decision, with the family, and who will supposedly pay for what in a wedding setting. 1. Expenses Of The Bride A good wedding etiquette book must list the Groom's Wedding Band as one of the expenses to be handled by the bride. Aside from this, a good wedding etiquette book will also handle the gifts for the attendants, also the accommodation for out of town attendants. A good wedding etiquette book will also list the wedding gift for the groom as necessary expense of the bride. 2. Expenses Of The Groom A good wedding etiquette book must list the bride's engagement ring and the wedding band as an expense by the groom. Also the expense for the honeymoon, the wedding gift needed for the bride is listed as an expense by the groom. The groom will also handle the expense for the marriage license, the gifts for the groom's men, the accommodation for the out of town groom's men, and the flowers needed for the bride. A good wedding etiquette book will also list the corsages needed for mothers, and the special ladies. Also the groom will cover the expense for the boutonnieres for the men in the wedding parties. Also, accessories for the men that are in the wedding party as well as the fee for the clergy person or the judge must be noted by a good wedding etiquette book. 3. Expenses By the Bride's Family A good wedding etiquette book will also include the expenses handled by the bride's family. The bride's family will most usually handle the cost of the wedding reception and ceremony. The bride's wedding attire as well as all the invitations, the announcements and thank you notes are handled by the bride's family. The bride's family will also handle the mailing costs of all the invitations, announcements and thank you notes. A good wedding etiquette book will also handle the expense for the photographer and videographer. A good wedding etiquette book will also handle the expense of the flowers and accessories for the bridesmaids, the flower girls, and the ring bearers. Lastly, a good wedding etiquette book will handle the expense of all transportation for the bridal party on the wedding day from the ceremony to the reception. All the gratuities for all the services are also included by a good wedding etiquette book. A bride's family will also handle the expenses for the luncheon of the bridesmaid. 4. Expenses By The Groom's Family A good wedding etiquette book will also state that the groom's family will handle the clothing for the actual wedding, the travel and lodging expense for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner and also the wedding gift for the newlyweds. 5. Expenses By The maid Or Matron Of Honor A good wedding etiquette book will handle the cost of the dress and the other attire. The Maid of Honor will also handle the expense of the travel expenses of the wedding. A good wedding etiquette book will handle the one shower gift aside from the one wedding gift. The Maid of Honor will also share the cost for the bridal shower. 6. Expenses By The Bridesmaids A good wedding etiquette book will note that when a bridesmaid is below sixteen years old, she is not expected to help with the cost of the wedding. Usually, the bridesmaids will cover the expense for their own dresses and the other attire, the travel expenses, and the only one shower gift and the one wedding gift. The bridesmaids will likewise share the expense for the bridal shower with the maid of honor. Recommended Wedding Etiquette Books In every part of the world, ladies dream of weddings. More often than not, they succeed in getting one. Thus, for every nation or country, in every culture, there are weddings. Weddings have become inevitable events in modern society. But, it is clear and apparent that weddings have become, in a sense, a way of lifestyle. It can be attributed to the Western influence. Wedding traditions, be it for Americans, Asians, Europeans, Africans or any race, have become universalized. When you say universalized, it means the event has adhered to same customs and traditions. Thus, we have wedding etiquettes. Wedding etiquettes can vary from one country to another. But the variations are only slight and minimal. Moreover, the ethics and etiquettes in weddings are all but the same. Because being into weddings or attending weddings have become a way of our modern life, people can get anxiety knowing that there are certain gestures that can be considered not likely during weddings. If you are a bride or a groom, the anxiety can get really concerning. The couple will have to undergo a hard time---on wedding jitters and on anxiety from wedding customs. Thus, the best way to help the soon-to-be-wed couple is to educate them about certain wedding etiquettes. Because learning venues for wedding etiquettes can get so distracting, awkward and embarrassing at the same time, it is advisable that those needing briefings for wedding etiquettes consult the book stands. The following are several of the highly recommended readings or books for or about wedding etiquettes. To get to know the books better, or to absorb what they have to say, get to the nearest book store or go to your favorite online shopping site to place an order. Some recommended wedding etiquette books "The Everything Etiquette Book: A Modern-Day Guide to Good Manners" by Leah Ingram. The author, Leah Ingram is considered as one of society's etiquette experts. Actually, the book is not exclusive to wedding etiquettes. The book tackles etiquettes for everyday living. Included in the topics covered are how to deal with annoying neighbors, how to choose and send the perfect gift for every occasion, professionalism at work, camaraderie with colleagues and friends, dealing with unlikely relatives and so on. Because the book covers everything etiquette, of course, a few pages are allotted to weddings. The wedding etiquettes mentioned in the book are glimpses and shortened or simplified, but they still are effective tips. "Crane's Wedding Blue Book" by Steven L. Feinberg. Mr Steven Feinberg's wedding book is very detailed and covers everything about wedding etiquettes. The issues tackled start from the preparation---from short listing the guest list, doing the invitation, hiring wedding planners, and so on. The wedding etiquettes covered by the book extend to until after the honeymoon, when the couple should have finished giving out thank you cards to their wedding guests. The book also gives tips and guidelines on what kind and color of paper to use when printing out invites and than you notes. It also deals with the proper way of handling unlikely, and yes, even wedding crashers. "The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: Insights and Advice on Handling Even the Stickiest Wedding Issues" by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin. The book gives out little and practical do's and don'ts during weddings. The book takes the issues from the different perspectives of that of the bride, the groom, the parents, the maid of honor, the bride's maids, the groom's men, stepmothers, down to the guests. The book boasts of practical solution to every concern and awkward situations that occur during weddings. The situations discussed can sometimes get cute, amusing and funny, but you can tell that they are timely and truthful. Several sticky situations, for sure, have happened to you. Everyone who has attended weddings or who are planning to attend or get into one can relate to the book. The book even gives out solutions and advice on how to handle difficult situations during weddings that include how to ask parents-in-law for financial assistance to cover the reception, including step parents in the ceremony, allowing single guests to tag along dates down to planning seat arrangements for divorced parents and more. The above mentioned wedding etiquette books can be found at our favorite book stand or can be ordered online. Just read the books by heart so you can get to absorb wedding etiquettes and save your face when situations get really sticky during weddings. Be My Wedding Guest: Dress Nicely: The date of your friend's weeding is happily circled on your calendar and you have started to scout for that perfect outfit. However, you still have no idea what to wear. The etiquette for the right wedding attire for a guest over 40 can be very different depending on the wedding's style. However, clues are available to help you make the right decision. An invitation that is formally crafted in an indication that the wedding you'll be attending will also be formal. An invite with casual wording will call for nice casual outfit. The invitation can also have direct instructions. The location of the wedding is also a good basis. A dress that easily gets caught in the wind will not be appropriate for an outdoor wedding. High heels should be avoided, as these easily sink in the grass or in the sand. A breezy dress will help keep you cool in a hot location rather that a suit. A more dressy and tailored outfit can be used in a wedding held indoors such as a five-star restaurant and country club. Daytime wedding attire for guests For the Woman over 40 * A dress with a floral design o a sweater set coupled with slingback shoes and a nice skirt. A light colored suit -- avoid anything that looks to formal. o a beautiful hat that blends with what your are wearing. For the Man over 40 * In weddings during the summer season a light-colored suit, especially seersucker or linen. o Warmer clothing is appropriate for winter weddings. Selections include wool suits, a slightly dark blazer with charcoal pants, and possibly a sweater and tie below a blazer. o A dress shirt, dress and tie pants can be used. A blazer can be used for added touch. o A dark suit is best suited for a formal wedding. Tuxedoes should be worn before 6 pm. Evening Wedding Female Over 40 * Dress like as if you are going to dinner or theatre. o Wear a not too sexy cocktail dress that is fun to dance in. Black is good. o A cocktail suit or a dressy suit o To look more sophisticated wear darker colors. o Beads or sequins should be avoided if not specified especially if it is not a black tie affair. For the Man Over 40 * Dark suits are always acceptable o Blazer and slacks matched with a nice tie can be worn in a casual or semi-formal wedding. Black-tie optional Female Over 40 * A cocktail dress reaching the floor For the Man Over 40 * A tuxedo is the perfect thing to wear in this occasion. o The guest should dress as formally as possible. THINGS NOT To WEAR: - Anything white is discouraged especially those that do not have prints. Those that choose to do so should make sure they do not upstage the bride. - Anything dark during a daytime wedding - Jeans - Anything too revealing or sexy - Anything with holes, stained or torn and anything too small or too big. - Anything strapless or sleeveless in a no-no especially to a religious wedding. A wrap should be brought to cover bare shoulders. Proper etiquette for Wedding Guests * Never be late! Try to attend at least 15 minutes before the stated start time of the wedding ceremony. This will give you time to be get settled and find a seat. * Guests should avoid taking photographs of the wedding. Professionals photographers have already been hired and it is important to preserve the sanctity of the ceremony. * Bringing a gift during the wedding day is not required. Guests actually a full year to send their wedding gift to the couple. Bringing it will only create a problem for someone assigned to carry it. * The gift is still a must even if you fail to attend the wedding. * Bringing will only be allowed if it is specified in the invitation. Serving every person in the wedding reception will likely be expensive for the couple. Bringing uninvited guests is very rude. * The wedding reception may be nice time to have fun having too much fun is very impolite. Avoid getting drunk and mingling too much people you barely know. Making The Wedding Etiquette Announcements Beginning on the day he proposed, there are certain wedding etiquette announcements to be observed. The couple should be aware of these wedding etiquette announcements or else wedding could fall into jeopardy. There are wedding etiquette announcements to be observed when breaking the news to the parents. First, let the people closest to you know of your plans. The groom must ask the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. It is traditional that men do wedding etiquette announcements to both families but modern times have changed this. Now, both of them can make the wedding etiquette announcements together personally. The wedding etiquette announcements for friends can be personally by the couple. They can also plan a party for both their friends and turn it into an engagement party. The couple on this event can choose their maid of honor and best man. Wedding etiquette announcements for sponsors should be done personally with the help of the parents. The sponsors can be chosen by influence, convenience, prestige, or by relationship. The important thing to remember is to get them to commit in being your sponsors and list them down in your planner. The wedding etiquette announcements for wedding details can be overwhelming, which is why most couples hire a wedding coordinator. If your budget can fit in the fee for this person's services, hire them. It will greatly lift the pressure of planning, organizing and supervising the entire event. The maid of honor often performs wedding etiquette announcements for the bridal shower. The bridesmaids, mother and other women family members are invited to chip in and join the event. Depending on what they have prepared, the bride can expect something as elegant as a garden tea party or wild as a trip to the local men's strip joint. The best man makes the wedding etiquette announcements for the bachelor party or stag party. Stag parties require little preparation since most parties only require five things: the groom, food, drinks, music and entertainment. The entertainments have wedding etiquette announcements of using either a stripper or just a regular DVD player and watching x-rated movies. There is a third option of making wedding etiquette announcements for a "couple" shower. Friends of both the bride and groom organize and celebrate this event. The best choice for this is to have a themed party, something with fantasy on it like a masque ball or have it done like Carmen Elektra and her husband Dave of Inxs where it was one big stripper party. The wedding preparations: The wedding etiquette announcements for the flowers should be booked months in advance. The same goes for the caterer, the arranger and the musicians. If the couple decides to hire a wedding coordinator, this will be an easier job for them. The wedding etiquette announcements for the dress fitting is should also be made weeks in advance. Any adjustments to the dress can be done as the wedding date comes closer. For the men, their clothes are classic pieces so it is no problem for the coordinator. However, it is a must that the groomsmen have a neat hair cut prior to the wedding. The photography and video documentation needs of the couple should be provided by the coordinator. As a rule, wedding etiquette announcements for photo and video coverage of the wedding can be open to bidders. This way they couple can sample the best work and hire the one they like most at a price that they can handle. On the wedding event: Within weeks of the big day, the wedding etiquette announcements for invitations should have already been mailed. Along with it are the wedding etiquette announcements regarding the attire, program, location of the wedding and a map to the reception. The wedding etiquette announcements for the wedding program at the ceremony is usually printed and given to the guests as they arrive at the church. The couple can skip this if they prefer an informal ceremony. With the solemnity of church celebration over, it is now time for everyone to relax at the reception. There is still another program in the event but most of it is well-wishes, thanksgiving and entertainment for everyone who attended the wedding. Much Ado About Wedding Envelopes When preparing for a wedding, the first thing the soon-to-be-wed couple will have to pay attention to is the guest list. It will be advisable to make a comprehensive and complete guest list before planning for the reception so you will have the rough estimate how many people might show up. After the guest list was completed, the couple should start making or composing the wedding invitation. There are dozens of wedding etiquettes that cover this particular aspect of wedding preparation. When preparing the wedding invitation, please bear in mind that your invitations will create a first impression of the coming wedding among the guests. Good invitations, or those that adhere to acceptable wedding etiquettes, will create the impression or idea that the couple is caring for the guests and are valuing them as to inviting them to take part in the important occasion. Preparing the wedding invitation Most of today's wedding invitations are prepared by professional printers. Some are part of packages offered by wedding planners. Wedding invitations should be carefully and tastefully worded so the message would be effectively conveyed. Paying attention to even the smallest details in the invitation can make a really significant difference on how the invitation will be received by the recipients. This particular section will focus on one aspect in wedding invitation preparation that most couples often neglect---the addressing envelope. Envelopes Addressing envelopes are often not paid much attention to because most couples and wedding organizers think guests will not pay particular attention to them. It can be true. There are some guests that pay no attention or do not care about the general presentation and appearances of addressing envelopes. But there are a significant few that do care about how invitations' envelopes are addressed. For a start, we know that for every person, the sweetest sound or word is his or her own name. Thus, it often annoys them when people misspell their names. In adherence to traditional and practical wedding etiquette, make sure that the addressing envelope bears correctly spelled names. Titles to people should also be mentioned and addressed in the envelope. Doctors would like to be called as one, as well as engineers, architects, lawyers and priests. Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes also urge that couples or wedding invitation makers should spell out everything. Even titles in envelopes should be spelled out. Thus, Doctor is written instead of Dr.; Engineer is written instead of Engr; and Attorney is written instead of Atty. Zip codes in addresses in envelopes for wedding invitations should not be hyphenated. Of course, practically, the addresses written in the envelopes should be accurate, or else, the invitation will be returned to you. As for children, their names are not usually written in envelopes for wedding invitations. Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes have it that only the parents' name are mentioned in the envelope. For guests with no definite professional titles, do not forget to put Mr., Ms., or Mrs. before their names. This is a universal gesture that indicates respect to the person. Inner envelopes For aesthetic rather than practical reasons, some wedding invitations include inner envelopes. According to existing wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes are not a no, no, but they are not also required. Wedding invitations can get away with it. However, inner envelopes certainly make for much better presentation. They may cost a little more, though. The aim of inner envelopes is to clearly state or reiterate who exactly is invited to the wedding. Children's names are never mentioned in the address envelope, but in inner envelopes, they can be mentioned. In accordance to wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes also may appear less formal. Names and titles can be abbreviated. Wedding invitations herald good news Yes, wedding invitations are the herald or bearer of the good news. In wedding etiquette books, experts say the invitation should be considered a gift coming from the soon-to-be-wed couple to their beloved guests. Wedding invitations are tokens of appreciation by the couple to their friends, families and relatives who have played significant roles in their lives. Make every wedding invitation count for that reason. Sending Thank You Notes to Wedding Guests After the wedding is over and the hot steamy honey moon is almost done, you will have to pause and think about the people who showed up to your wedding day. Thinking of those people will never be sufficient. Adhering to wedding etiquettes, you should appreciate them and show your appreciation through a material token. That is where thank you notes come into the picture. Wedding experts and society or lifestyle gurus advise married couples to send out tokens of appreciation or simple thank you notes to their wedding guests at least two weeks after the event. Thank you notes should or must be sent especially for those friends or guests who showed up with wedding gifts. Wedding etiquette will also have you send thank you notes to people who were not able to come to the wedding, but sent in their gifts, or even to people you have invited but did not show up at all and did not even bother to buy you any gift. To outdo wedding etiquettes, it would be better if the couple will send out personalized thank you notes. If it would not be too expensive, thank you notes bearing pictures of the couple with the particular guest would be a really, really good gesture of sincere appreciation. It is not against wedding etiquettes to buy thank you note templates, but be sure to personalize it by adding your personal hand written notes of appreciation. Some couples also prepare thank you notes along with wedding invitations to save time and money. When you opt to do this, just be sure you order enough or plenty of extra copies to so you will never run out in case too many people show up. Etiquette when writing thank you notes A couple of do's and don'ts will help you get away from troubles that may arise in writing wedding thank you notes. It is not enough that you show up efforts to sincerely thank and appreciate the presence and gifts accorded to your romantic wedding. Wedding etiquettes have it that thank you notes should be written appropriately. Even the paper used for the notes should be written on white or ivory-colored paper. Some couple prefer to have their thank you notes monogrammed, but others feel its just okay if everything is handwritten. Here are some guidelines that adhere to wedding etiquettes when it comes to sending out thank you notes: * Remember to send thank you notes to relatives and people who coordinated showers and parties for the both of you. It would be okay if you thank them for the efforts within the same card sent to them for their gifts. * Wedding etiquettes suggest that you appreciate each gift you have received. That means each and every gift should be recognized through its own thank you note. If a person sent you two gifts, for example, send two thank you notes for each gift. The same treatment should be given to gifts received during the shower or even stag party. * Advanced wedding gifts or gifts that arrived before the wedding you must be immediately responded to so you will never have the chance to forget sending out thank you notes for them. * It might be time and money saving, but it is not advisable to send out preprinted thank you notes. Sending preprinted cards will give the person receiving the thank you note the impression that his or her effort or gift was not totally appreciated. o Personalize your thank you note by handwriting the message. Warm but short thank you notes are better than longer but non-personalized or insincere notes. * Write your thank you note message in blue or black ink. It is for the simple reason that the colors are far more readable. * It is in accordance to proper wedding etiquettes that you put or include your new return address on every thank you note you have sent. The recipients will greatly appreciate the gesture if he or she is informed or posted of your new and correct address. * Never start the thank you note with the pronoun "I." To create a good and lasting impression use "You" as often throughout the note instead of "I" or "me." Huge Love In Small Weddings An elegant small wedding is one of the most beautiful weddings that can be organized. The budget is not too high, the attendees are all relaxed and will likely have a good time and nuances such as children running around and making noise will be avoided. A wedding without too much frills makes sure that the love between the couple is the focus of the ceremony. Etiquette in a small wedding ATTIRE: Guests are only advised to wear clothes comfortable to them. A dress from a closet selection, a white one or even a sundress is appropriate for a small wedding. A bridesmaid can wear a white dress or even a pantsuit. The groom can go for khakis, or even jeans paired with a shirt and a sport coat. SETTING: A small wedding can be held in a community center, a local park or even your parents' backyard. Holding ceremonies in a unique location such as a rooftop, a barn, an art gallery can clearly speak about the personalities of the couple. INVITATIONS: Invitations in a small wedding can be handwritten on handmade paper. Send them like writing a note to a close friend. It is important to note that attendees should be in casual attire. FLOWERS: Simple bulbs such as hyacinths or tulips can serve as alternatives for floral flower arrangements. Using these will generate huge savings for the couple. Gerber diaries inserted in a flat container filled with wheat grass can serve as an attractive centerpiece. MENU: The menu of a small wedding can be very diverse. A party can be set a few months before the wedding and the guests can be asked to bring their favorite recipes. The couple can choose their favorites and use them as wedding food. It is also good to acknowledge whose recipe it is by putting a label in front of every dish. Besides a party, a barbeque or picnic fare can be held. REGISTRY: Common retail stores such as Sears or Target can be used as gift registries. Couples can specify what they want to receive in order to avoid the usual gift of expensive China that will likely collect dust in a cabinet. Costs, costs, costs Tradition dictates that the bride's parents are responsible for paying off the wedding regardless if it is small or big. However, expenses have become an issue due to the challenging times. The etiquette in requesting for money is by gathering both families and discussing how to share in the wedding expenses, as the couple will unlikely have enough to cover all of their needs. The budget will be a major basis on what type of wedding will be held. The couple needs to meet with everyone who will be attending. However, the couple cannot force their parents to shell out money that is not available. Couples can make various compromises if their budget falls short. For example, less expensive rings can be used. A more expensive replacement can be acquired in the future. Some couples do not even have wedding rings at all. Those living in a nice climate can have the reception at home and hire catering services. To help control costs, a butler can be tasked to pass around hors d' oeuvres and refreshments. The parents of the groom traditionally pay for the following items: - Boutonnieres for groom's attendants - The bride's bouquet - Officiate fee or donation - Rehearsal Dinner - Lodging and transportation expenses of the rabbi or minister - Corsages for every family member - o Transportation of the Groom and Best Man going to the wedding Giving tips is a nice way of rewarding those that have given good service but it is not a requirement. A tip given to a minister can be seen as a gift for marrying the couple. Tips can be given to servers, drivers and musicians but still, this is not a requirement. The etiquette in service fees Couples should make sure that they are comfortable with the people that are helping in the wedding whether it is the wedding experts, the photographer and even the florists. They should share the same vision on how the wedding should come out and not merely focus on how much money will spent. A couple may receive possibly the lowest price but if the rendered service does not meet what was promised, the value is useless, even if it is a small wedding. Exercising Proper Wedding Etiquette There comes a time when the any couple decides to commit themselves to one another and express this by getting married. Along with family and friends, all those who care for them share their wedding day. Proper wedding etiquette is required for different aspects of the wedding. From taking care of the invitations, to the transportation, reception details, location and the church, everything has a corresponding proper wedding etiquette to follow. The engagement: Proper wedding etiquette should already be observed during the engagement. The news should be announced to immediate family first. A gathering of both families should be arranged. Proper wedding etiquette dictates that if either one has not met each other's parents; they should break the news to one family at a time. As for friends, the proper wedding etiquette is to announce to them personally after the family. The wedding preparations: The wedding theme is the first thing the couple must agree upon since all the details following it will be affected. If the couple chooses a beach wedding, proper wedding etiquette says that everything will be patterned after that. There are wedding planners who can coordinate everything for the couple and is a great help for the bride and groom in organizing their special day. The question of when and where the wedding will be held is an important topic to consider. The couple must also decide what kind of ceremony they want to have. Will it be a church wedding or a civil one? The proper wedding etiquette is to consult the religious preference of the couple. Sometimes even if they share the same religion, a couple can still insist on the informality of a civil wedding. The location for the reception is the next thing to decide on. As proper wedding etiquette, the couple must be considerate of the guests. Proper wedding etiquette dictates that the reception area should be close to the wedding location so that the guests and the couple won't be too tired when they get there. Transportation is another factor to consider. Apart from the bridal car, it is proper wedding etiquette to provide for those who have no cars from the wedding location to the reception area. The couple can ask guests beforehand on who will bring their own transportation so they can estimate how many automobiles they will have to hire for the group. The reception details: Of course, a big part of this event is the reception. Even though the atmosphere is more informal, one cannot forget the proper wedding etiquette of having a program. It should really be about the couple, wishes from their family and guests, a time for gratitude and a celebration of the new life ahead for the newlyweds. The menu, cake, table decor, centerpieces, sound system, and entertainment should be arranged months beforehand. The proper wedding etiquette is to follow the allotted time frame for each element. All of this will entirely depend on the couple's taste and budget. The dresses: Proper wedding etiquette for any traditional wedding is a white gown for the bride and a favored color for the bridesmaids, entourage and sponsors. However, times have changed and other color palettes are now available for the bride. The groom and groomsmen usually do not have trouble with their clothes since they wear what is appropriate to the theme and whatever the couple has decided on for the design. The budget: All this preparation will go to waste if the couple cannot provide for any of the wedding items. As proper wedding etiquette, the question of who will pay for what is divided between the bride and groom's family. Traditionally, the proper wedding etiquette is for the bride's family to pay for the reception costs, the church fees, the groom's rings, the invitations, flowers for the ceremony and reception, music, transportation and lodging for the bride's party. The groom's side takes care of the rehearsal dinner, the bride's ring, clergy or officiator's fee the bride's bouquet the flowers for the entourage, transportation and lodging for the groom's party. Nowadays, a couple can decide what obligations they will handle. But the proper wedding etiquette is to share the expenses, as this will be the sign of their future together. It is tough job to handle all the wedding details but proper wedding etiquette must be observed at all times. Sometime we tend to forget these simple but very important gestures. We must realize that by following proper wedding etiquette, we help make the event more elegant and memorable. Proper Wedding Etiquette At Rehearsal Dinners Most couples who are about to get married face the problem of staging a rehearsal dinner because they have no idea of the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners. This articles hopes to provide some enlightenment to the couple regarding the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinner. Enumerated below are some of the usual questions that couples ask regarding the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners. Though rehearsal dinner planning is making couples go crazy, they need not worry, a few rules to observe is all they need before actually staging the rehearsal dinners. The Guest List Couples must remember that there are really no rules involved in staging a rehearsal dinner. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners is as plain as the wedding day itself. Firstly, the proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggests that the couple choose wisely and pick out the members of their guest list. It is really up to them who they will invite. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners really has no restrictions as to how many the guests are. It can be simple as the couple only, can include their immediate families, and also those guests at their wedding party with their spouses or their significant others. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also has no regulations on what a couple intends to lay-out a motif or theme for their rehearsal dinner. Either they make it a bash or they can invite all their out-of-town guests. A rehearsal dinner is a very good chance or opportunity to be able to maximize what quality time that you have with your visiting friends and your relatives. Proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest this as the most proper time to be able to chat with your friends and relatives, unlike the wedding day itself, rehearsal dinners give the couples more relaxing and quiet time. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also advises couples not to worry about not having the proper surprise for them. The guests usually do not go to the actual ceremony rehearsal. The ceremony is usually for the wedding party and their parents. The Fiance's Family Sometimes, the family of a fiance has no idea that they are supposedly hosting the rehearsal dinner. Usually the parents can not afford all of it and still suggest the couple invite everyone to go to a catered party. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners are usually recommending that the family of the fiance shoulder all the expense for the rehearsal dinner. Most people are ignorant of this rule, however, they should be properly notified of this proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also tells us that it is not advisable not to invite the families. The couple must note that no matter who or what they are, they are still the fiance's parents and will soon near enough be the in-laws. No matter what they have done or they act. A couple must remind themselves to start off on the correct foot by giving out invitation to the fiance's family. Trouble might brew if they will not be included in the rehearsal dinner. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest that though the fiance's parents does not realize that they are the ones who should be hosting the rehearsal dinner, its up to the couple to bring the subject up. The couple can always opt to host the dinner themselves. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners can remind them that the rehearsal dinner does not have to be a big rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner can be as big as a take home pizza party or simple grilling burgers at the backyard. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners reminds couples to look at the situation as a possible way to kick back just before the wedding. The couple must instead concentrate on the family, on each other and the wedding party. The proper wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also can be said that rehearsal dinners are a good time to present the guests with the thank you gifts. Instead on dwelling on what the parents might do during the rehearsal dinner, the couple must instead be happy that at this very special moment of their life, their families are together. A True Gift Of Love: The Wedding Gift Giving plenty of gifts to a newly betrothed couple has been tradition for many centuries and is the main reason why the wedding gift business has remained profitable despite changing business conditions. A wedding gift is a tangible representation of support and love for the couple to help them start their new life on a positive note. Wetting etiquette dictates that guests officially invited to the wedding ceremony and reception are required to send a gift, regardless they attend or not. However, those invited but live very far and have not been in close contact with the couple for several years have the option not to follow the tradition. A guest requested to attend a shower should present a gift but does not have to if he/she cannot attend the event. A close family member of friend will likely send something despite not attending. Engagement gifts are never compulsory but have started to become a requirement in some parts of the world. A guest who is not sure whether or not to present a gift to an engagement party may consult the hosts for guidance. Ideal wedding gifts can range from expensive china, gift certificates, camping equipment, gardening tools and household appliances. Choosing a gift should be an enjoyable activity except for those "shopping-challenged". The gift registry is very helpful in determining what to give the couple. Starting to become popular is the move of couples registering gifts with two or more retail stores, online shops or even brokerage houses and travel agents. Registry information is informally spread to guests and should not be inserted in a wedding invitation. Putting a gift registry in an invitation is major turnoff for guests, as it will give more focus on the gift and less on the thought of inviting to the wedding. The guest's should have the choice whether to give a gift. Sometimes the most memorable and sentimental gifts are those carefully picked surprises. Normally, should be delivered to the bride's home before the wedding addressed to her. Gifts sent after the wedding should be addressed to the couple's new home or the house of the bride's parents. Some cultures require the gift to be brought to the wedding home instead of sending it ahead of the ceremony. Guests may send the gifts immediately after they receive the invitation. Doing this gift giving practice will spare the couple from worrying about how to transport huge packages coming from the reception site. Proper etiquette dictates that the couple should immediately write a thank-you note to the sender upon receiving the wedding gift and before the fourth month after the wedding at the most. FAQ's on proper wedding etiquette on gift giving When does the gift should be sent? The gift for the bride should be given before the wedding or shortly after the couple. If the gift cannot be sent anytime soon, it must be sent before three months after the ceremony. This goes against hearsay that it can be sent even shortly before the first year anniversary of the newlyweds. Are the gift options limited to those listed in the registry? No, a registry only serves as a guide for the gift giver. Any wedding gift will as long as it comes from the heart. Is there an ideal budget for a wedding gift? The budget is entirely up to the gift giver. One's love for the bride and groom should serve as the basis on how much a gift should cost. Is money an appropriate gift? Money is the traditional gift in some cultures. Giving a gift certificate to their favourite store is a nice option if you are comfortable giving cash. What if I did not receive a thank you note from the bride and groom? While it is an awkward thing to do, the best move is by calling the bride and groom and asking if they have received your wedding gift. If the gift came from a store, call your contact salesperson and verify if your purchase was delivered on time and to the right recipients. Become concerned only if the thank you note does not arrive within three months after the wedding. Glory At Morning Weddings A good advice for making a wedding romantic and truly special is to make the ceremony debt-free and low-key as possible. Couples should save their money and not pay much attention to wedding advices features in magazines. Love is basically between the couple that will be getting married so its best they focus on each other. A morning wedding followed by a luncheon reception is ideal, as it will give the couple enough time for their honeymoon, starting a new life and have enough energy to perform immediate post-wedding activities. Over 200 guests waiting at an expensive sit-down dinner will not add anything special to the romance. A morning wedding will also help the couple save money and their eager energy and more than half a day to savor the moment of finally getting hitched. Etiquette in a morning wedding A morning wedding can be formal, semi-formal or informal. The bride can be outfitted with a short wedding dress or suit. In a formal morning wedding, the bride's gown should touch the floor and veil fingertip or slightly below the middle knuckle of the mid finger. A fingertip veil becomes more attractive when it is used with an elbow length blusher. For a semi-formal morning wedding, the gloves and blusher veils are optional. The groom's attire is typically composed of a business, sportcoat or morning suit in accordance to the level of formality. In a semi-formal morning wedding, proper etiquette dictates that the groom can sport a dark stroller or suit without black or gray tails. In a formal wedding, a morning suit, which is composed of gray pinstripe trousers, ascot, gray vest and a cutaway coat, is suffice. The groom also has the option to wear a tuxedo if he wants to. The groom and bride's attire should complement each other. If the bride is wearing a casual short wedding dress, then the groom should wear a business suit or sportcoat instead of a tuxedo. Regardless whether the wedding is during the morning or late in the evening, there is a certain etiquette that should be followed in the ceremony. - Bridesmaids and groomsmen should assist in the ceremonies if the morning wedding is not held strictly in private. - The bridesmaids should not have dresses that is not too eye-catching but will match the wedding dress. In addition, they should be younger than the bride. The dresses can contain more ornaments and should consist of light, graceful fabric. Flowers should serve as the main decoration. - The wedding dress should be simple but elegant and can be decorated with few ornaments or jewels that come from the parents or the bridegroom. The dress needs to have an attractive veil and garland. - The bride needs to be assisted by her bridesmaids in wearing the wedding dress, receiving visitors and locate themselves at her left side. The first bridesmaid for easy access should keep the bouquet and gloves. - The clergyman should be received by the groomsmen and led to the couple that will be married. They will also serve as assistants for the bridegroom, during the occasion. - Guests should wear something light and fresh. A breezy dress or a light-colored suit would be appropriate. Those who are fond of hats are in luck in a morning wedding, as wearing one will complement the ease and energy of the ceremonies. Dark suits and dresses should be avoided. The Wedding Breakfast If the bride appears during breakfast proper etiquette dictates that she sits beside her husband at the center table, while the father and mother occupy the top to bottom and greets the guests coming in. Once the cake has been cut and every one has eaten, which include offering a toast to the new couple and giving acknowledgements, the bride and groom meet with their friends and eventually exit from the ceremony. The newly-married couple can start in their wedding journey at around two or three o'clock, while the rest of the guests and family member depart from the reception area shortly after. Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette for Brides Emily Post is the well known Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette. But there are many Wedding Etiquette specialists these days that followed Ms. Emily Post's footstep and became Miss Manners themselves. If you are getting married anytime soon and you want to know some tips from Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette, here are some Wedding Etiquette basics for you, the blushing bride. * On Wedding Dress Miss Manners says Wedding Etiquette of our age is not very strict anymore. Today, Miss Manners allows brides to wear non-conventional color for a wedding gown. Aside from ultra white, creme, and beige, Miss Manners says that it is not against Wedding Etiquette to wear pastel colored wedding gown, especially if the wedding is a Destination Wedding. For a beach wedding, brides can now wear turquoise or aquamarine colored wedding dress to match the color of the dress with the aqua-blue freshness of the sea waters. * On Wedding Shoes Miss Manners says Wedding Etiquette allows brides to wear open toed and ankle strap wedding shoes. According to the modern Miss Manners too, white is not anymore the basic color for wedding shoes. You can go with beige, creme, ivory or even red to match an ultra white wedding gown. Miss Manners says that shoes should be comfortable and stylish. Rhinestones are good and does not defy Wedding Etiquette. But for the sake of taste, Miss Manners recommends that brides should go for less ornamented shoes. * On Announcing the Engagement Miss Manners says that first time brides may announce their engagement in newspapers or if they have the fortune to host an engagement ball, then they can announce the engagement in the said party. If you do not have the money to throw an engagement party, Miss Manners says that you can announce your engagement to close family and friends during a dinner. For second wedding, Miss Manners recommend to brides with second marriage to talk to their children first before making the public announcement. Then the next person that they should talk to is their parents before the ex-spouse. Miss Manners says that a bride, who does not have any child from her ex-spouse, fails to tell her ex about her engagement does not violate a Wedding Etiquette. According to Miss Manners, the bride have no obligation to her ex-spouse unless they have a children of which they have joint custody. * On Who to Invite Miss Manners says that it is the bride and the groom and the host (in case the parents will co-host the wedding) has the say on who are or who are not to invite. But the last say, for Wedding Etiquette's sake, is always upon the lips of the bride and the groom since it is their big day and it is them who are the center of attention. If the bride or the groom don't prefer to invite an ex-boyfriend who is one of the best employee of the bride's father, then the bride's father cannot command her daughter to invite the old flame even if it is the bride's father who have hosted the wedding. * On Wedding Registry and Cash Gifts Miss Manners says no to Cash Gifts. Asking for cash gifts is a Wedding Etiquette blunder. Miss Manners says that asking for cash gifts makes the bride and groom look greedy. Even if the couples want to donate the cash gifts to charity, Miss Manners is still against for couple who will plead for cash gifts. Whichever way one may look at it, people will think that couples who ask for cash gifts have a mark of greed on their foreheads. Wedding Registry card is okay to Miss Manners, except that you should not insert the registry card on the invitation. Better put up an online registry and tell your guests, through your wedding invitation that a registry is currently online for those who wish to give the couple gifts under the couple's wishlists. This way, according to Miss Manners, Wedding Etiquette is preserved and you won't look too pushy to your guests. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette A wedding of an acquiantance is going to be held some time soon. You are now thinking of what gift you should give the newly wed. But do you know that there are gift giving wedding etiquette? Yes, there is such a thing. If you are contemplating on giving cash as a gift, read on first the gift giving cash wedding etiquette before you do such a move. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette Fact 1: If a guest who receive an invitation can't make it to the wedding, they are not obligated to send gifts and much more cash gifts. Wedding etiquette dictates, however, that those who are unable to attend should send a congratulatory card for the groom or for both couples or a simple best wishes note to the bride. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette Fact 2: Cash gifts or any gift items may be sent to the bride or groom's home before the wedding or to the couple's new home one year afterwards. This is a way of guests to lessen the burden to the newlyweds, such as how would they transport heavy gift items. Couple need not worry about renting a truct to transport the gifts to their new home. Also, your cash gift will be a great help to couples within their first year of marriage who are still in the stage of raising their own savings. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette Fact 3: Giving cash gifts are not a violation of wedding etiquette. Couples need cash as a start up money for them. They need to rent a new apartment, bigger than their bachelor pad, if any of them has one, buy toiletries and groceries for the two of them, buy appliances and furniture that the two of them needs. These are just few among the many expenses that a couple would face in the first few months of their marriage which is why gift giving cash is a good idea to do and does not violate any wedding etiquette. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette Fact 4: So how much should you give if you decide to give the couple cash as a gift? It is a horrible idea that the amount or price of one's wedding gift should equate to what the couples had spent on your dinner at the wedding reception. It is untrue. You can give as much as you want and as less as you want, if your budget is really tight. But in gift giving cash wedding etiquette, a guest's transportation does not count as a cash gift to the couple. Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette Fact 5: Also, don't stop yourself from giving cash gifts if the couple has listed their preferred wedding gifts in registry. Buying gifts from the wedding registry list are optional; you can either give the couple the gift of their choice or don't. So, the gift giving cash wedding etiquette fact # 5 is that you can give cash gifts eventhough the couples have a wedding registry. Here are gift giving cash wedding etiquette for couples: Wedding registries are gaining popularity these days. But there are limitations on how much the bride and groom may direct gift giving. Gift giving cash is a wedding etiquette violation. You should not tell your guests that you prefer cash than gift items or request donations in cash to pay up a mortgage or ask them to give you cash to fund your honeymoon or that gift giving cash is preferred because you will send the money to charity. Whether you like it or don't asking for gift giving in cash will make you look greedy, even if you claim that the money will go to charity. Also, your guests will fell less generous. Gift giving of cash is an option to guests. They may opt to give cash as a wedding gift but wedding etiquette tells that you should not, ever, ask them for gift giving of cash. You may use the cash gifts in anyway you want. If the bride and groom receive cash from guests, accept it and say your thanks, write them a thank you note the way you would do after opening a gift item. How to be a Good Guest on Evening Weddings Weddings were almost always held during daytime in the past. But like evolution, the customs and norms on weddings have also evolved over time. Most couples nowadays find evening weddings more romantic and ideal. Evening weddings have increased popularity over time. People see weddings, especially receptions as a perfect time to mingle with old and new friends and generally socialize. However, only few know that several wedding etiquettes do exist for evening weddings. As for almost any issue hounding etiquettes on weddings, you will be surprised how evening wedding etiquettes mainly revolve around the most basic issue and concern on weddings--- attires. For the bride and the groom, it is surprising that not much is expected during evening weddings. Evening weddings, according to several etiquette books and guides, should be treated as if they were daytime wedding. But take note, the case only applies to brides and grooms. Being a nice and good guest, you are expected to follow several practical and unwritten guidelines. You would not want to create a bad impression to people, don't you? To illustrate the most common dilemma encountered by guests, who really try hard to be good guests, read on for a sample situation that you may have encountered in the past. An evening wedding situation Annie was invited to the wedding of a high school friend. The event poses a lot of excitement to her because she sees it as an opportunity to touch base and catch up with old high school friends. Thus, Annie wants to make sure she will create a good and fashionable impression on that night. She wants to show everyone how she has improved and gotten prettier and foxier over the years. However, one concerning factor about the wedding was that it is an evening wedding. Annie has attended just a couple of evening weddings before, and those were informal events, unlike this forthcoming one. The invitation sent to her clearly and boldly emphasized that the guests are expected to come in formal attire. Ahh, Annie thought. That would be to her advantage. She will more exuberate radiance through a beautifully made gown. The wedding night of her friend turned out to be disaster for Annie. Why? Because with her utmost desire to 'dress to impress,' she found that she over did it. Annie wear a very beautiful and radiant fire-engine red gown. The dress accentuated her figure, and no wonder, she was really beautiful. If she was beautiful on her gown, what went wrong? What happened in the evening wedding that made Annie want to run out instantly from the event? Apparently, Annie unintentionally stole the bride's wedding thunder. Since she came in flaming red and beautiful gown, all eyes were on her during the wedding. Some people, to her dismay, also came to congratulate her, mistakenly identifying her as the bride. It can never be flattering. Not all eyes were smiling to Annie. The bride's eyes were flaming red, with anger! All the bride's maids, and almost all the ladies in the ceremony showed those disgusted and unwanting looks to Annie. She thought, she should never have attended that evening wedding. Dress for the occasion Evening wedding invitations that bear the phrase "black tie optional," indicates that the evening wedding is meant to be a formal gathering and the hosts intend the guests to appear formal. Men are expected to appear in their tuxedos and women in their evening ball gowns. For the burden of the ladies, they should first find out about the wedding colors and motifs before showing up at the wedding. Otherwise, they, for sure, would not want to catch hot and daunting eyes during the entire ceremony until the reception. For the ladies, remember not over do it. Do not steal the thunder from the bride. Do not out do the bride's maids, the maid of honors and the bride's mom as well. Dress down. Find a suitable color and design of the gown that can attract attention, but not too much to the extent that all eyes are totally fixed on you. Remember, it should be the bride who should stand out on her much-awaited moment. Destination Wedding Etiquette for Newlyweds One of the most exciting things to happen in a person's life is the wedding. Planning for a destination wedding will take a lot of work but the rewards can be worth it. The first destination wedding etiquette is to consider who can attend the wedding location. Out of town weddings are preferred by couples as a way to lessen the number of guests at the events. Sometimes, when the budget is concerned the destination wedding etiquette is to set aside money for accommodations and transportation for the immediate members of the family and entourage. For the couple: A destination wedding can be a fulfillment of their fantasy. When looking for the best place to celebrate, look for these qualities: * Accessibility -- the hotel and church or wedding location should be near the reception area. This is a destination wedding etiquette in consideration for the family and guests who need to freshen up before the reception. * Package -- there are hotels or resorts that offer wedding packages. These are discounted rates for a group bookings. Other may include the transportation. It is a destination wedding etiquette to make sure everything is taken cared of. * Price -- destination weddings can still be costly, especially if there is a theme involved. However, the destination wedding etiquette regarding the expenses are sorted out between the bride and groom. The destination wedding requirements: Pushing through with an out of town wedding can be demanding on the part of the couple. The destination wedding etiquette is to make sure everything is in order prior to the wedding date itself. Here are a few reminders: * Check if your wedding location requires other legal documents to process the wedding. The destination wedding etiquette is to arrange the papers beforehand. * Is there a residency requirement? If so, the destination wedding etiquette is to confirm the number of days required for the couple to stay in that location to make their union legal. * Medical tests for both parties should be taken. If the couple arrived a few days earlier to the destination, they are open to the risk of getting a disease. It is destination wedding etiquette to have themselves checked out by doctors just to be on the safe side. * Book everything in advance. Making the proper reservations for the hotel, flowers, gowns, music, etc is a sign of prudent planning and a destination wedding etiquette must. For the guests: The destination wedding etiquette dictates that you must bring a gift for the newlyweds. A bridal registry is usually set-up for the convenience of the couple and the guests. If the couple's asks for money instead of a gift, discretely give your envelope to the family of the bride or groom. The key word here is discrete. It would be breaking the destination wedding etiquette code if one grandstands and announces their contribution. Usually the invitation allows for at least one companion to the wedding. In tagging along more than one companion, consider the destination wedding etiquette of informing the couple beforehand. This will make it easier for them to estimate the total number of plated for the reception. Bringing along the children is fine for any destination wedding. But as much as possible, keep the event as civilized as possible. The kids will only add to the stress at a wedding and the destination wedding etiquette is to keep the number of children down to a minimum. Guests can turn the out of town wedding into a mini-vacation just by spending their time together at the venue. However, it is essential destination wedding etiquette to put the couple's day first before going off on your own romantic weekend. If the destination wedding is unfamiliar to you it is wise to do some research. Not only will you be able to discover a new place but also you can really enjoy your mini-vacation by visiting the tourists' spots. Remember, the destination wedding etiquette is to indulge on this only after the wedding event. For the family: Both the bride and groom's family are an important part of the wedding. It is a destination wedding etiquette that they all try to help make this event go as smoothly as possible. The couple can delegate their wedding tasks to the family to lessen the pressure on the celebrants. It is only natural that the family steps forward and take in as much responsibility as the can as a destination wedding etiquette. When all the hard work pays off at the wedding, the newlyweds will appreciate everyone for making this the most memorable destination wedding of their lives. Children and Weddings Most of the romantic and ideal wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and huggable children. However, being the jolly, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often, weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously funny. We know that children are always seeking fun and will not stop to entertain themselves during boring hours. Children can not easily cope up and comprehend the fun adults have on weddings. The occasion can be very boring to them. When children get bored, they usher in trouble to adults. They can roam around, throw cakes at people, fight with other kids or ruin things. These are fun to them, but can be nightmares to adults, especially to brides and grooms during weddings. Children and invitations Admit it. The sad reality is that more and more brides, and grooms as well, do not like the idea that children will be coming over to their weddings. Just the thought of crying children and children messing up with her gown and that of the bride's maids make several brides throw up. Another sad fact is that some parents are not very sensitive to the issue. They could not think and understand how a bride could dislike cute and loveable kids in her wedding. Wedding etiquette books and guides have it that the best way to exclude children to the occasion is to mention it in the invitations. According to most wedding etiquette books, brides and grooms who dislike kids around their weddings can do two things: one, do not mention kids' names in the invites; and two, spread the word that children are not wanted in the wedding. The second option can be brutal, but it is nicer than having to control kids' tantrums and annoying acts during weddings. Because not all people understand and know wedding etiquettes, it is advisable that at some occasions, the couple should be straight forward to inform the guests before hand that the wedding would involve an 'adult reception.' Frankly telling parents-guests that kids will not be welcome in the wedding can also be a viable option. For some, the gesture will not be that polite, but practicality will tell other wise. Every bride and groom wants solemnity for their much- awaited moments. Understand that. Another tactic to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr and Mrs Winterburg are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means, that Mr and Mrs Winterburg's five kids do not have places in the wedding. They should know that. If the guests still fall clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, call them before the wedding and explain why children should not be attending the wedding. Educate them a little about wedding etiquettes. Wedding etiquettes for children's parents For parents, if it is not mentioned in the wedding invitation that children are not allowed to attend the wedding, and the couple and hosts did not call to emphasize the idea, then it is safe to assume that you could tag along your children. However, be informed and bear in mind the simple wedding etiquettes for parents. You would not want to ruin the wedding just because your kid suddenly threw an act or suddenly threw a tantrum. Assume the position of the bride and the groom. Think of how you would feel if you were on their shoes, and children are creating scenes at your wedding. It would not be pretty and cute, right? Make the initiative to leave your kids at home, if you can help it, when you attend the wedding. They could play around the house or watch the television or do their stuff at home. They might get bored throughout the wedding ceremony and spoil everything. For those helplessly take along children with them on weddings, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, make the occasion a venue or time for teaching the kids of simple and practical wedding etiquettes. Make the occasion a teachable moment by informing the kid that he or she should behave through out the occasion just like how to adult guests behave. This will be the best teaching occasion to shoe the kids how to act during weddings, or train them about some table and social manners. Moreover, wedding etiquettes tell us to learn from each wedding. For the couple, on how to be good hosts. For guests, on how to be good guests and for parents to be good teachers to their kids who are incidentally, also attending the wedding. Wedding Etiquette on Tipping and Other Lost Wedding Etiquette Even in our modern times, wedding etiquette still survives. The wedding etiquette that we have come to know dates back from the Victorian era. Victorians are known for their education, intelligence, social grace and manners. The wedding etiquette on who should pay for the wedding has changed a bit although the old Victorian wedding etiquette, the father of the bride should host the wedding, is still being practiced today. Because of economic issues and that both couples are already earning their own money, the bride and groom today hosts their own wedding. On social graces, some Victorian Wedding Etiquette still exists like having bridesmaids and groomsmen on your wedding and throwing the bride's bouquet for maidens to catch. But on the issue of wedding etiquette on tipping, does tipping of the hat to greet the newlyweds still exist? Wedding Etiquette on tipping is an old Victorian social grace of which people from many parts of Europe also do practice. But as time has passed, the etiquette of tipping a hat to acknowledge a person or greet a newlywed is becoming an obsolete etiquette. One of the reasons, according to some wedding etiquette specialists, is that the modern clothing has excluded hat as part of fashion. So, how would a person do a tipping when there is no hat to beging tipping with? American formal clothing does not include a hat, unlike in some European countries, a hat is still part of their fashion. This is the reason why the wedding etiquette on tipping from some European countries is still being practiced. Wedding etiquette on tipping is not a big issue anymore in American society. In fact, most wedding etiquette books that we have now do not mention anything about wedding etiquette on tipping nor they have mentioned anything about it being an old custom of the American society. But there are couples who wish that their guests would practice the wedding etiquette on tipping. These couples are those who celebrate their wedding with a Victorian era wedding theme, or the 1950's Casablanca theme of which fashion from these years requires a hat to complete an ensemble. Aside from wedding etiquette on tipping, another lost wedding etiquette on our society is the choosing of bridesmaids younger than the bride and requiring them to wear a dress similar as that of the bride. Today, this wedding etiquette, just like the wedding etiquette on tipping is completely lost. Brides now choose older and sometimes even married bridesmaid. This is not being scorned today, but yesterday, during the time when wedding etiquette on tipping is being practice, bridesmaids are young and really maiden. The reason behind the Victorian wedding etiquette on young and maiden bridesmaids came from the old belief that a devil is tasked to abduct brides during their wedding day so that he could have her for himself before her groom can take her. The bridesmaids acted as decoy, being maiden and wearing dress that resembles the bride's dress will confuse the devil as to who is the real bride. This wedding etiquette has been passed on from generation to generation until it evolved and became the wedding etiquette that we have now. According to wedding etiquette specialists, this practice has long been forgetten because people, through time, has become modernized and become less superstitious. Besides, the bride can now have her favorite sister or best friend, even if she is older than her or married, to be at her side on her very special day. There are still lots of wedding etiquettes before that have been changed to fit our current culture and society. In fact, some of the modern wedding etiquette we have now may also become oblete in time, like the way the wedding etiquette on tipping and wedding etiquette on bridesmaids that our culture had before. Wedding Etiquette: How Stepmothers Should Act We have seen on movies and television shows, especially the soap operas, the dagger look that the biological mother and the stepmother cast at each other. And we laugh at them when they spit out their sarcastic lines, with the episode ending up in a slapping scene. This matter is not laughable; not at all. This incident do happen in real life: biological mother or father fighting up for the first pew on the church against the stepmother or stepfather of their child or who should do the father and daughter dance. Having a wicked stepmother for a stepmom most of the time happens only in fairy tales. In real world, stepmothers do get along with their stepdaughters and stepsons. If you are among those brides who dearly love their stepmothers and biological mothers too but the two just can't seem to meet in the middle, don not let yourself be caught in the middle of a cat fight. There are wedding etiquette for stepmothers in case you are looking for one. Just try to know some of these wedding etiquette for stepmothers and you will be assured that you won't slight the two persons dear to your heart. -- Wedding Etiquette for Stepmothers: Seating Arrangement If your mother and stepmother have not spoken in ten years and seating them three seats apart can already spark a friction and eventually a heated argument, how should you seat the two of them without hurting anyone's feelings? For a start, take the time to have a heart-to-heart talk to each of them during the planning stage of your wedding. Ask your mother to be in her best manner possible, and when you talk to your stepmother, include your father in the talk. Your stepmother might get offended if you talk to her alone about behaving herself on the wedding. She might interpret that you are lecturing her. Although your stepmother would have probably known wedding etiquette for stepmothers, it is still for the best if you talk out to her about some of the basics. But in doing so, avoid sounding authoritative. Say that she is dear to you but wedding etiquette dictates that she should be seated in this chair or that chair or that she and your father should be seated on the next pew at the church. is with each of them ahead of time -- perhaps include your father in the stepmother talk -- to solicit their "good behavior." If you keep saying how important it is to you that they make every effort to put animosity aside on this one special day, it's hard to imagine that they would cause any problems. Some etiquette guidelines do exist to help you: In most cases, when the bride's parents are divorced, the parent with whom she lived after the divorce (or the one she's closer to) sits in the first pew during the ceremony. This is often, but not always, the mother, who is joined by her husband, if she is remarried, and her immediate family. Either directly behind the mother's contingent (which might fill the first two or three pews) or a few rows away, come the bride's father, stepmother, and his immediate family. There are practical divorced-parent guidelines for the reception, too. Use assigned seating, with the tables for your mother and stepmother a safe distance apart. I'm sure that on the big day, your sensitivity will be appreciated by all. Becoming a Fashionable and Graceful Stepmom on Weddings We have wedding etiquettes left and right tackling a number of issue related to weddings. But modifications have to be made because times have also changed. Centuries or decades ago, husbands and wives are stuck to each other for life, in sickness and in health. But nowadays, everything has changed. Most of the parents now are divorced by the time the marriage reaches its tenth year. That is why modern weddings are further complicated with the emergence of stepmothers. Yes, almost every bride or groom in town has a stepmother. But the problem is, how are stepmothers dealt with during weddings. From this cue, let us focus on stepmothers. Stepmothers are usually portrayed as wicked and evil, just in the case of Snow White and Cinderella. But in reality, stepmothers are also human. Most of them are really kind and good-hearted, and some are even better, when it comes to the personality department, than real mothers. Being a Stepmother If you are a stepmother, the simplest and most basic ethic you should adopt when your step daughter or step son gets married is to take the back seat. The principal and most basic issue that hounds stepmothers during step daughter's or step son's weddings is the attire. Focus on that, and be amazed at how every issue and dispute is covered by the issue on attire. Traditionally, during weddings, it is the bride's mom that decides on everything. The first and basic concern for each wedding is the wedding gown. Biological mothers have all the right to intervene and decide on that. Take not that in adherence to traditional and appropriate wedding etiquettes, the groom's mom, the bridesmaids and the maid of honor will have to take the fashion cue from the bride's mother. In other words, the bride should stand out in the wedding. Her mom will have to stand out next to her. No one ever will have or be given the chance to steal their thunders. It is in this part that the stepmother takes the backseat. To be nice and courteous, just adhere and agree to the bride's mom' fashion statement. If you are a stepmother, your attire during the wedding should never outdo that of the bride or that of the bride's mother. Doing otherwise will divert attention from the two stars of the moment to you. And that will lead to serious encounters and problems. Do not spoil your step daughter's or step son's wedding just so you can stick out and flash your unique and sensible fashion statement. Your attire should only be complimentary, in style and in color, to those of the bride's, the mom's, the maid of honor's and the bridesmaids. Stepmothers during the wedding The stepmother's sacrifice in the attire department does not stop there. Most stepmothers should be canonized as saints especially if they patiently survive step son's or step daughter's wedding. In throwing up receptions, stepmothers' attires should still be underdog compared to the bride's and the mom's. Take note, adhere to this wedding etiquette even if you husband pays for the entire wedding. You will not want to arouse his ex-wife's temper. For sure. During the ceremony, the stepmother, with her dress-down attire, does not normally sit beside the bride's or groom's father. It is still the biological mother that has the right. Stepmothers are usually seated two to three rows back of the groom's or bride's parents. In several cases, wedding organizers not only advise stepmothers to tone down their attire, they also advise stepmothers to seat where the original wife could not see them. This is to avoid two moms from throwing cake at each other. If you are a stepmother and you are of the same age, or younger than, as the bride, do not, repeat, do not attend the wedding. You might attract scandals. If you have been the cause of the break up between the bride's or groom's mom and husband, the warnings should be utmost and more emphasized to you. It is hard to be a stepmother, right? But understanding your position and living it out with utmost fashion and grace will help you outshine the occasion, even if you do not need it. You are not on the losing side. Besides, you have your loving husband with you -- the proof and trophy for you being the winner! Assigning Seats During Weddings Weddings are such tedious events that organizers assume too much responsibilities, from creating the guest list, to putting out and distributing invitations, down to making sure everyone is seated where he or she should be during the ceremonies and in the reception. Organizers should pay particular attention to this because putting a person to the wrong company during weddings can start up a great and scandalous commotion. Wedding etiquette guides advise organizers to know everyone first, or at least do more research about personalities and backgrounds before assigning seats. Arch enemies would not want to seat beside each other even for a few minutes, right? So be sensitive and particular to these and more issues. Seating arrangement in the church Wedding etiquettes always assume that weddings, as traditions have it, are taking place inside churches. Or that ceremonies are church rites, at least. Following proper wedding etiquettes, the family of the bride should be seated on the left side and the groom's family on the right side of the venue. Yes, the two families are segregated. The couple's parents should sit in the first pew, before the other important and significant guests. Seating arrangements in churches and other venues should be marked by organizers so people will know where they should be seated. Divorced parents There are special cases when seating arrangements in weddings are altered. However, the changes should still follow strict wedding etiquettes. For one, if the parents are divorced, how will the organizer arrange seats for them? Answer, if the parents of either the bride or the groom, or both, are divorced, both mom and dad can be seated along the front row with their current or new spouses. Flings and short-time girlfriends or boyfriends of parents are excluded and should not be seated there. If the parents' separation or divorce was a bitter one, and they still are not civil with each other, then the mom and dad should be seated in separate pews where they could hardly see each other. It is the challenge for the wedding organizer to be creative, wise and practical in assigning seat arrangements during weddings. The mom should be guided to her seat in the first pew by an assigned usher. If she remarried, her husband should walk just behind the mom and the usher. As a rule in wedding etiquettes, at least during the ceremonies, he should let his wife lead. The bride's or groom's father should still escort or walk the bride or groom to the aisle along with the mom. No place for step moms and step dads for this part. In most weddings, organizers arrange a seat plan is such a way that step moms and step dads are seated along with the grandparents or along with other significant or very special guests. Seating arrangements during weddings should also vary and change, depending on the clergy and religion. Wedding etiquettes allow guests to inquire or ask about the seating arrangements to the clergy. The Reception There are wedding etiquettes governing seating arrangements in the church during the wedding ceremony. Of course, certain seating arrangements should also be ethically followed during the reception. Formal receptions will have the bride's entourage and family assigned to particular spots or seats in the reception. The following will set a guidance when arranging or assigning seats or chairs in formal wedding receptions. The top table must be composed or be seated with the wedding party or entourage only. However, several very important guests can be included in the top table if the bride and the groom or their family wishes. In those cases, the person should be seated on either side of the wedding party. The bride and the groom's families are still separated to distinguish which clan is that of the bride's and which one is the groom's. Here's the proper arrangement on top tables on wedding receptions, in accordance to appropriate and proper wedding etiquettes: Arranged from left to right, facing the guests: maid of honor, groom's mom, bride's dad, the bride, the groom, the bride's mom, the groom's dad, then the best man. Wedding etiquettes advise that the table should be occupied only by 12 people, at most. Other people should be then seated to other tables. Strictly limit the occupants of the top table, if possible. Also, remember that in assigning seating arrangements for receptions, the bride should always stand or be seated to the left side of the groom. Again, this is for symbolic purposes. Just adhere and follow traditions, won't you? Emily Post Wedding Etiquette Book The Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette book is a very comprehensive book on wedding etiquette. The wedding situations depicted here are full of every situation in which a expecting couple will need to do or just say the right thing. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book has every answer to every question b couples regarding the proper wedding etiquette. Also, included in the Emily post Wedding Etiquette book are very valuable advice on how a couple will set up either a traditional or a non-traditional wedding ceremony. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book also includes the right and efficient way to dress and depends on the level of formality of a couple's wedding, aside from this, the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book teaches the couple how wedding invitations will be written, etc. The modern couples who originated from different kinds of backgrounds need the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book. The Emily post Wedding Etiquette book is also needed by the brides and grooms that have entered their second marriages. Aside from this, the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book is needed by children from a divorce. Finally, the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book is needed by anyone who needs to make sure that will be able to get everything that are just right for their wedding! To give the reader a sneak peak, here are some of the possible topic or subject that they could read about in a Emily post Wedding Etiquette book: 1. Expenses Handled by the Flower Girls in a Wedding The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will usually inform the reader that a flower girl is usually picked as before the age of six years old. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will tell the reader that the families of the flower girl or flower girls are expected to cover the expenses for their flower girl dress, for their other attires, and also their travel expenses. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette books also tells us that the flower girls are not usually expected to bring along a shower gift to bridal showers that they may attend. If the parents of the flower girl or flower girls do attend, the shower gift expectations will be just the same as the other bridal shower guest. If the flower girl or flower girls do attend more than one bridal shower or bridal party, they are expected of bringing only one bridal shower gift. The flower girls are really not responsible for helping out financially with the bridal shower. 2. Expenses Handled by the Best Man The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will tell the reader that the best man will usually handled the expenses for his own formal wear along with his accessories. He will also handle the travel expenses, as well as one shower gift and one wedding gift. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will also share in the cost of the bachelor party. 3. Expenses Handled by the Groomsmen or the Ushers The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will usually note that the groomsmen aged sixteen years and below are not expected to help out with the cost of the wedding. The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will tell the reader that the groomsmen or ushers will shoulder the expense of their own formal wear as well as their own accessories. The covered expense will also include travel expenses, one shower gift and one wedding gift. Aside from this, the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will teach the reader that the groomsmen or ushers will share with the cost of the bachelor party with the best man. 4. Expenses handled by the Ring Bearer and the Trainbearer The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book will also teach the reader that the kids under the age of six are okay to be the ring bearer or trainbearer. The families of the ring bearer and train bearer, however, are expected to shoulder the attires, and the travel expenses of the ring bearer and the train bearer. The ring bearer and and train bearer is not really expected to bring along any gift to any kind of pre-wedding parties that they may like to attend. If the parents of the ring bearer or train bearer do attend, the expectations for the gifts will still be the same as with any other guest. If the ring bearer or train bearer do attend more than just one party, only a single shower gift is expected. Wedding Etiquette: Destinations You might have heard of a couple wearing an alien suit for a wedding dress or a couple who get wed in a pink cadillac in Las Vegas wedding strip. Although it sound like fun, many still don't get the wishes of couples to celebrate their wedding this way. If you want to have an exciting wedding, you can get wed in an extraordinary way without looking like a psycho for getting married in an alien suit. Destination Wedding is gaining popularity these days because it satisfies the wants of adventurous couples without being a clown. Destination Wedding is for couples who want to get wed on the sandy beach of Fiji Islands or at the romantic canals of Italy or at the Eiffel Tower. Wedding guests for Destination Wedding usually are the closest families and friends of the bride and groom. Of course, only those who love you the most will take the time, energy and money just to get to attend your wedding day. But do you know that there is a list of Destination Wedding etiquette to follow? Destination Wedding Etiquette is just an enhancement of wedding etiquette that we have come to know. -- Basic Destination Wedding Etiquette * The very first Destination Wedding Etiquette that you should know is that you should tell your guest in advance, at least six months, of the when and the where of your Destination Wedding. This Destination Wedding Etiquette is important because it will give your guests an ample time to decide whether or not they should attend your wedding. Your guests also needs to check-in in a hotel and fly just to get to your Destination Wedding. You may ask, should you pay for the travel expenses and hotel accommodation of your guests? Destination Wedding Etiquette tells that you should not. You are not responsible for their tickets and hotel fees. You would go broke if you do. Your guests know this fact and they should not ask you about it in the first place. If any of them ask you the awkward question of, "Would you I pay for the tickets and hotel fees?" You could answer this way so as not to hurt his or her feelings: "Oh, I would love to treat you for a vacation but our budget is so limited that I could only accommodate your dinner after my wedding." You have better lines than this. Use it using your friendly voice. * The second most important Destination Wedding Etiquette is to provide your guests with information about the place. You should also scout for the cheapest hotels in the area where they could stay. You can create a Destination Wedding Information, a brochure type info kit, that contains the basic information about the town of your wedding venue and the scenic places that your guests can go before and after the wedding. Remember that Destination Wedding is like a honeymoon wedding? Think of the best honeymoon places and vacation spots in the area so that couples and singles alike will enjoy the place. Also, create a map of the area so that your guests would know how to navigate the area. Other Destination Wedding Etiquette - Destination Wedding Etiquette allows bride to wear any wedding dress that they would like to wear. Of course, if you are a fashionable bride, you would like to wear a simple yet elegant wedding dress even without looking at Destination Wedding Etiquette books. For chic and fashionable brides the fabric and design of the bride's wedding dress must conform to the location. For example, if you are getting married at the sandy beaches of the Fiji Islands, you should wear chiffon and even semi-translucent wedding gown in white or other colors like aquamarine. This kind of wedding dress will look very sexy on the beach. - Bring insect repellant lotions, sunblock and face hydro spritzer like Evian to make your guest feel comfortable in your wedding reception and ceremony which would be held in an unroofed venue. This is not necessarily one of the rules of Destination Wedding Etiquette. This is just your way of saying thanks to your beloved family and friends who took the time and have spent fortune just to witness you getting tied with your one true love. Getting hitched, Victorian Style Wedding ceremonies are different depending on the preferences and fortunes of those involved. There are no specific directions to follow. However, those that will be married by ministers should first study the form of weddings their church follows. The Episcopalians have their "Book of Common Prayer", the Methodists have their "Book of Discipline" and the Catholics have certain rituals. The wedding rehearsal is normally made in private but it is required if the couples will be wed by a magistrate. The most number of ceremonies occur in Catholic and Episcopal weddings but these are normally the most impressive. The Victorian Wedding ATTIRE: Victorian weddings are filled with ruffles, bows and lace. Guests should consider wearing an antique dress a lace cap or headpiece, which can be purchased from the ladies at Greystone Gardens. For a morning wedding, the men should wear a morning dress and a tailcoat for an evening wedding. A top hat is also a nice option. MENU: A formal Victorian wedding should follow the guidelines for a traditional formal wedding. For an informal wedding, the ideal setting is the Sunday tea dance with scones, petit fours filled with fresh fruit. The movie The Age of Innocence should be watched for inspiration. INVITATIONS: The invitation of a formal Victorian wedding should have an attractive embossed border on the edge. The text should be formal or if possible should be engraved. Invitations can also carry the couple's favorite Victorian love poem. FAVORS: A cracker popular during holiday time is good option for a Victorian wedding. These things were invented during the Victorian era and snap when opened. These can be filled with a trinket based on personality and budget. A folding fan printed with a nice poem and wedding date can be used in a daytime wedding. FLOWERS: The flowers play a very important role in a Victorian wedding. A tussy mussy is a good option. The flower girls can carry pomanders. PROPER ETTIQUETTE IN A VICTORIAN WEDDING Weddings regardless if its Victorian or not follow a certain etiquette in order to make the ceremony flow seamlessly. - Bridesmaids and groomsmen should perform certain responsibilities in the ceremony if the wedding is not strictly private. - The bride should be older than her bridesmaids and their outfits should match. However, the wedding gown should obviously look more expensive but the dresses of the bridesmaids can have more ornaments. The dresses should be composed of graceful, light material. The flowers should serve as the principal decoration. - The wedding gown should exude simplicity but can be worn with few ornaments or jewelry, which come from the parents or bridegroom. The garland and veil should be the most eye-catching in the dress. - The bridesmaids should assist the bride in wearing her wedding gown and receiving guests. They should also stand at her left side during the ceremony. The bouquet and gloves should be held by the first bridesmaid. - The placing of the bridesmaids should not be much of a concern but those conscious with symmetry should consider putting the tallest to the smallest from the couple. However, any order should be suffice. A bridesmaid can be paired with a groomsman who has the same height. - The groomsmen are primarily designated to receive the clergyman, lead him to the couple that will be married and stand in the right side of the bridegroom during the ceremony. CEREMONY IN CHURCH The etiquette in a Victorian church wedding sees the bride entering from the left side with her father followed by the bridesmaids or more common, as single bridesmaid. The groom enters from the right and is trailed by his attendants. Behind are the parents, while the attendants stand from either side. The bride should make sure that her glove can be easily removed, while the groom should be certain that ring is placed where he can easily find it to avoid being embarrassed or delaying the ceremony. ETTIQUETTE IN EXITING THE CHURCH The newly-married couple holds each others arm when they depart from the church. A reception can be held at home for around two hours attended by intimate friends. A short breakfast can be held before the couple can embark on their bridal tour. Wedding Etiquette on Victorian Weddings Thanks to educated Victorians with their lustrous names, intelligence and writing abilities, they have passed on to us what a mannered person should do in all social situations. In the 1870's to 1880's there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books that were published of which includes Victorian wedding etiquette. These Victorian wedding etiquettes became popular before and are still popular in these days. Victorian wedding etiquette focuses on manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. Victorians also have etiquette rules on courtship and engagement. -- Victorian Wedding Etiquette on Marriage Ceremony For Victorians, the marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. According to Victorian Wedding Etiquette, a bride and couple may have a very lavish and expensive wedding if they can afford it or they can have a small gathering of closest family and friends celebrating the wedding with them. As to the form of right, Victorians have no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but they should follow rules of their churches of the proper wedding rite. Victorians who are to be married by their ministers, wedding etiquette calls them to study the form or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For Victorians who will be married in a Methodist church should study Book of Discipline. Episcopalian Victorians, on the other hand should read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration. In Victorian wedding etiquette, couples must do wedding rehearsals. The rehearsal of the ceremony is always made in private. Victorians believe that with this way, the bride and groom and the wedding parties could understand better the necessary forms and rites. -- Victorian Wedding Etiquette General Rules Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorina wedding theme. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won't be able to accommodate the guests. Although this seems funny nowadays, but Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you won't be able to make her a bridesmaid if you were born during the time of the Victorians. Victorian wedding etiquette on bridesmaids clothing is also peculiar. Bridesmaids should wear dresses that look like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose everytime there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken. The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive. The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides' MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet. As for the groomsmen, he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony. Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette's general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of victorian wedding etiquette are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom or of a relative special to the hearts of the couple. Wedding Plans, Wedding Etiquette and Wedding Shows in Colorado If you have wedding plans, why not take the time to study wedding etiquette and attend wedding shows in Colorado. With wedding etiquette lessons you will learn what to and what not to do so that you won't hear anything from your guests that might discomfort you. You don't need to follow all wedding etiquette rules; all you need to do is learn the basics and you can bend the rules accordingly. Of course, you will only bend wedding etiquette rules that won't make your mother and close friends raise their eyebrows. You very well know how to bend rules with taste. You won't wear a black wedding dress just to bend a wedding etiquette rule for the sake of bending it. Wear black wedding dress if you have a reason. But if you can do with a white wedding dress, well, that would be better. Bend on some other rules instead. Such as being informal in the wordings on your wedding invitation. On the other hand, attending wedding shows in Colorado will give you an idea on what to expect from a country and garden weddings and who are the best suppliers that you should hire when you plan to get wed in Colorado. -- Why More and More Couples Want to Get Married in Colorado? Many couples have been getting married in Colorado because of the cool weather, beautiful gardens, and homey, old fashioned barn and big houses which are the best wedding reception for a country themed wedding. Colorado is situated in Southwestern America. It is known for its breathtaking scenery-- snowcapped mountains and moist grasslands -- and world world famous ski slopes that attract skiers and snowboard enthusiasts (that come from every place of the planet) each year between the months of December and March. Colorado's Rocky Mountain State is home to North America's best skiing locations, such as: Vail, Steamboat Springs, Aspen and Breckenridge. Boulder, Colorado boasts Aspen rich parks with green grasslands. Boulder, Colorado is perfect for couples who plans to have a garden wedding. In the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, a garden that looks like paradise is open for public. The Alpine Garden is a botanical garden filled with colorful, high elevation plants. The rugged mountains and pine trees are the perfect backdrop for your wedding photos. The Alpine Garden hosts private events such as weddings. Its Rock Garden Terrace can accommodate up to fifty (50) guests, which is just perfect for a simple wedding with only close family and friends as guests. The kiss of the newly weds and the loving look that they give one another is enough to warm the hearts of guests in the cool Colorado garden terrace. -- Attend Wedding Shows in Colorado On your wedding plans list, write that you will study Colorado wedding etiquette and mark dates of wedding shows in Colorado. Wedding etiquette in Colorado is not actually stiff; people celebrate festivities with country inspired cuisine and lots of wine, as you will learn from wedding shows in Colorado. Colorado exudes freshness of blooming flowers, green grass, and cool weather. This is the reason why lots of wedding shows are being held in Colorado. Couples with wedding plans go to wedding shows in Colorado because of the fabulous things they hear about the place as a good venue to celebrate weddings and party on with country and garden wedding themes. Wedding shows in Colorado features wedding etiquette books for couples with wedding plans. Wedding etiquette books contain information about wedding etiquette on invitation, wedding etiquette on who pays the wedding expenses, wedding etiquette for step mother and fathers, wedding etiquette for second family, wedding etiquette on what the bride should wear including her bridesmaids and her guests' clothing, and wedding etiquette on the issue of cash bar. Emily Post was known for her wedding etiquette knowledge and she had a spectacular book about wedding etiquette for couples with wedding plans. Everything that a couple needs to know about socializing during the wedding has been compiled in a single, thin book. If you have wedding plans and want to catch the latest wedding shows in Colorado, just go to the official website of the State of Colorado and they have information about various events in the State of which include wedding shows in Colorado.
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