What is Bullying? Bullying can take on many forms and can be very damaging to children both physically and emotionally. Bullying is the desire of one child to hurt, threaten, intimidate, or embarrass another child. Bullying can be more that just name calling and has even moved onto computers and cell phones. Bullying can be physical, emotional, written, verbal, and even sexual. Knowing the different ways children can bully each other will help to identify and stop bullying. Physical bullying is when one child physically injures another child on purpose and with the intention of harassing, scaring, or embarrassing them. Hitting, kicking, and pushing as well as threats of physical violence are all ways that children engage in physical bullying. Sometimes a child will demand money of other belongings as a from of bullying. Boys more commonly use this type of bullying because they are usually more aggressive than girls. Physical bullying can have grave effects on victims if it is not stopped soon enough. Verbal bullying is another common form of bullying and girls are more prone to engage in this kind of bullying. Verbal bullying occurs when children call others names, spread rumors or criticize each other relentlessly. Even though verbal bullying does not do any physical harm, it can still traumatize children and cause them to loose self esteem, become depressed, and loose interest in friends and activities. These effects can do a lot of damage to a child, and even affect them in the long term. Written bullying takes the form of abusive letters both on paper and in emails and text messages. Passing mean notes and pictures used to be the only form of written bullying but today, because the internet makes spreading information so easy, written bullying has become easier than ever. Children will write derogatory things about their victim online for the whole world to see. They will also use chat rooms and IM's to spread rumors and make nasty comments either to other children or the victims themselves. Emotional bullying is another form of bullying and is also more common among girls. Emotional bullying includes excluding others from a group, victimizing others and ridiculing them. Any comments or actions that are meant to hurt another person's feelings are considered emotional bullying. This type of bullying is just as serious as any other because victims eventually become damaged emotionally. Victims of emotional bullying often blame themselves for the bullying and suffer life long effects. Sexual bullying occurs more often in older children and includes unwelcome sexual comments, advances, and the display of sexual material. Sexual bullying is a very serious issue and can be considered sexual harassment. Children who commit this type of bullying can face serious consequences, and even be held legally responsible. Bullying can happen to anyone and even popular, seemingly well adjusted children can bully others. Every type of bullying is serious, and should be dealt with accordingly. Understanding the different types of bullying can go a long way in preventing bullying and stopping it if it does happen. The Effects of Bullying Bullying negatively affects both the child being victimized and the child who is the bully. There are always short-term affects and if the bullying is severe enough there can also be long term effects. Children who are bullied can suffer from low self esteem and other emotional problems and children who do the bullying are much more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol later in life. Bullying should not be taken lightly as it can cause serious problems for all the children involved. Being bullied is a very stressful ordeal for children. Many bullying victims are reluctant to talk about their experiences making it even harder to help them. While it is possible for children to learn to ignore and not be bothered by bullying, they are usually stressed out when bullying attacks occur. The victims of bullies often loose self esteem, start having trouble in school, and withdraw from friends and activities. If it is not stopped and continues for long enough, children can suffer these problems permanently. Bullying victims can suffer from long-term effects of bullying if it was severe enough. Bullying victims are more likely to have social and depression issues later in life. Children who were constantly bullied may have a hard time forming friendships and fitting in with others throughout their lives. Most bullying victims suffer no long-term effects of bullying but it can happen if nothing is done to stop the bullying early on. Bullies usually have their own problems that cause them to pick on others and if they are allowed to continue bullying these problems may never be resolved. Bullies often have friends but these relationships are destructive and only help to perpetuate bullying. The effects of bullying on bullies are usually frequent trouble in school and at home. Bullies can also suffer long term problems if they are allowed to continue bullying others. Bullies who are not stopped early can suffer from long term effects. A bully who is never taught appropriate ways to deal with their problems will most likely continue being aggressive and bullying others into their adult life. Bullies are also more likely to commit crimes and be involved in illegal activity when they get older. Bullies will often have a hard time making friends and maintain friendships as the friends who support bullying are not quality relationships to be in. Bullies may never learn how to effectively problem solve if they are given other ways to respond when the bullying problem first arises. While most cases of bullying do not result in any long-term effects, the painful memories of bullying can cause victims problems in the future. For bullies, the inability to cope with problems in a healthy way may lead to serious trouble in the future. Because the possibility exists for these types of problems, bullying must be taken seriously and dealt with accordingly. It is important to stop bullying early so both the bully and the victim do not suffer from any long term affects. Is Your Child at Risk of Being Bullied? Every child is at risk of being bullied no matter what their personality is like. It is estimated by the U.S. Department of Education that over 10% of children in school are at some time the target of a bully. Because bullying can be directed to anyone, you should not assume that your child will never be a target. Many times bullying issues will resolve themselves or grade or school changes will separate the children involved in bullying. Sometimes, however, bullying will remain constant and will cause serious damage, both emotionally and physically, to the victim. Because bullying is such a serious issue, knowing the risk factors for being bullied is important in determining if your child is at an increased risk for being targeted by a bully. Both boys and girls are most commonly bullied for being different, not fitting in, or lacking social skills. If your child has a handicap, has a hard time making friends, or fitting in with others, they have increased risk factors for being bullied. Children with differences such as small stature, physical defects, or cognitive difficulties are also at an increased risk factors for being bullied. Even if your child conforms to normal standards, they may have increased risk factors for being bullied if they are unpopular or are friends with other children who are bullied. Sometimes bullies even target children who are popular and confident because they are jealous so no child is safe from bullying. Another risk factor for being bullied is bullying others. Children who bully others often find themselves as a target of bullying after they have victimized others. If your child bullies others, they may become the target of retaliation and become the victims themselves even after they stop victimizing others because the children they hurt want revenge. Warning signs of bullying behavior include general aggression, impulsiveness, the need to dominate, inability to cope with problems and the inability to empathize with others. If your child seems like the type that would bully others, they have increased risk factors for being bullied because victims often retaliate. Make sure your child understand that bullying is not acceptable and can have serious consequences for the rest of their lives. If your child has risk factors for being bullied, you should monitor their behavior and look for warning signs of bullying. These signs include withdraw from friends and activities, sudden fear of going to school, unexpected complaints of illness such as stomach pains and headaches, constantly coming home with damaged or missing belongings, and unexplained depression. Usually bullying can be stopped and long term damages avoided, but in severe cases, both parties can be affected for life. Be sure to teach your child what to do if they are faced with a bully and how to stop bullying behavior so that they will not suffer in the long term from bullying experiences. Don't assume that your child will never be bullied, sometimes bullying occurs with no warning signs or the victims refuse to talk about it. What is Cyber Bullying? With advances in technology come advances in the way kids can pick on each other. It used to be that bullying was relegated to the school yard, but today kids can use the internet and cell phones to bully each other in a way that has been termed cyber bullying. This new type of bullying can be just as harmful as traditional bullying and even have criminal ramifications. Cyber bullying is when a child or teenager is harassed, threatened, humiliated, or otherwise targeted for abuse using the internet, cell phone, or other digital communication device. Cyber bullying only refers to children harassing other children, if adults are involved in the harassment than it is not called cyber bullying. Cyber bullying should be taken seriously because it can be so damaging and even be illegal. Cyber bullying may entail posting mean, lewd, or derogatory statements about a person online, sending embarrassing photos of a person through email or text message, or any other mean spirited act committed against another child using that type of technology. Because the possibilities of cyber bullying are endless, cases of cyber bullying can become very serious, even to the point of injury of death. There have been reported cases of suicide and homicide related to cyber bullying as well as physical and emotional damage. Never assume that cyber bullying will stop on its own, all the attention cyber bullying can draw is a great motivator for cyber bullies to continue. Cyber bullying often occurs repeatedly and is usually not a one time occurrence. Cyber bullying victims are often targeted and tormented relentlessly and the ease of which information is shared on the internet and through cell phones makes committing acts of cyber bullying easy. Kids can find many different ways to embarrass, threaten, or belittle others using the internet or a cell phone. Depending on the severity of the offense, cyber bullying can be charged as a crime. If information or passwords were stolen or threats were made, children can be charged as delinquents for under the law. Do not be afraid to peruse your child's rights in the case of cyber bullying, sometimes it is the only way to make it stop and send the message to other children that cyber bullying is no acceptable. Although schools try to do everything they can to stop and prevent bullying, cyber bullying can be a tough from of bullying for a school to control. Cyber bullying that occurs off of school property is usually considered out of the authority of the school and little can be done by administrators to stop it. Parents play a key role in preventing cyber bullying and closely monitoring children's online and cell phone activity is the best way to do so. If you notice that your child is having unexpected problems, don't assume they are a normal part of growing up. If your child becomes hesitant to use the computer they may be experiencing cyber bullying and you should investigate to make sure they are not harmed. How to Tell if Your Child is a Victim of Bullying There are many warning signs of bullying, and if you suspect that your child may be getting picked on at school, looking for these signs can help confirm that your suspicion is true. Some signs are more subtle than others, but they can all point to a case of bullying. If you notice that your child frequently comes home with damaged belongings, torn clothes, or is missing property, this may indicate that they are the victim of bullying. Taking or damaging property is a way that children bully each other as well as physically harming their victim. Likewise, if your child frequently comes home with unexplained bruises, scrapes, and other injuries they may be a victim of bullying. If your child has few friends or is withdrawing from friends they once associated with, they may be the victim of bullying. While friends do come and go throughout school, sudden decreases in friendships may indicate that your child is a victim of bullying. Children who are bullied often withdraw from things they once cared about because of the stress of their situation. Less popular children are also at an increased risk for bullying so if your child has problems making friends they may be a target for bullying. A sudden an unexplained fear of going to school or a sudden loss of interest in school and activities may also indicate that your child is the victim of bullying. Children are often hesitant to talk about bullying experiences and instead become afraid or uninterested in things they once liked. If you find that your child refuses to talk about school or other activities where bullying could take place this is also a sign that your child could be the victim of bullying. If your child is reluctant to talk about their experiences, reassure them that no matter what is going on your are there to help and can only make the situation better. Another sign that your child may be the victim of bullying is mood swings, depression, or unexplained illnesses and complaints of aches and pains. Children who are the victims of bullying will often make up excuses why they do not want to go to school or come home in a bad mood. Children will typically try to avoid situations where they are being bullied using these excuses and it is a classic indicator of a bullying problem, especially if these problems happen unexpectedly. If ignored, these symptoms can cause a child who is the victim of bullying to loose self esteem and do poorly in school. While these symptoms are not always caused by bullying, they are common signs that bullying has occurred. If your child exhibits any of these symptoms, you should further investigate to see what the cause of the problem is and to find ways to solve it. Children often do not want adult help because they fear that it will only make the situation worse. If they refuse to talk to you, consider consulting your child's teacher to get better insight into what is going on. Why Do Children Bully? There are many reasons children bully others. They can have strained home lives, not be getting enough attention at home, or have other family issues. Children who come from abusive homes or whose parents use violence to solve problems also may bully others. The most commonly thought of reason children bully is because they have low self esteem or a poor self image but many times bullies are confident and popular and pick on children who are smaller and unpopular. Children may also bully because they witness violence at home or do not know any other way to deal with stress. If children are not taught the proper way to solve problems, they may resort to violence and bullying. Bullying is a serious issue that can have serious consequences and should be treated as such. Other reasons children bully are to compensate for their own problems, to gain a feeling of power, or to make themselves feel better. They turn to bullying as a way to solve these problems because it seems like the best way. Being mean spirited or emotionally unstable are also reason children bully because bullying is actually enjoyable to them. Children may find happiness in the misery of others. If children have learning problems, poor social skills, or problems fitting in they may also bully others to make themselves feel better about their social situation. Sometimes the reason children bully is because they are being picked on themselves and they will retaliate by bullying others. This is a common way that the cycle of bullying continues and that children who would not normally bully others start to do so. No reason merits bullying, but some children don't know any other way to deal with their problems. The most important thing to remember when dealing with a child that bullies is that their motive may be different from the norm and the underlying problem must be resolved in order to stop the bullying cycle. The reason children bully is the key to stopping them, so if your child is a bully make sure you identify exactly why they feel as though they should bully others. Solving the underlying problem will give children the relief from their problems they need without having to resort to bullying. Give your child positive ways to deal with problems and stress so they don't have to use bullying. Children who are stopped quickly are much less likely to suffer from long term effects of bullying. Stopping bullying is important not only for the victims of bullying but for the bullies themselves. Children who bully often have problems later in life and end up committing crimes and continuing their cycle of aggression. Stopping a bully while they are young and making them realize the consequences of their actions is important to prevent future trouble. No matter why a child bullies, they should be made aware that bullying is not acceptable and given better ways to cope with their problems. Make sure you address the problem that is causing the bullying so that it doesn't continue. The Wrong Way to Handle Bullying If your child is being bullied, it can be a harrowing experience. Many children are unsure what to do when they get bullied, and you should make sure they have the correct information. Many children use the wrong methods to deal with bullying, or they refuse to take action at all. Many children have the wrong idea of what to do if they are bullied, so make sure they do not make these mistakes. If your child is being bullied, make sure that they do not think it is their fault. Many children do not realize this and suffer from low self esteem and emotional problems if they blame themselves for being bullied. Bullying is never the fault of the victim no matter why they are being singled out for. Make sure you child understands this so they do not suffer from guilt. They will also be more willing to share their problems if they realize that the other child is to blame. Make sure you child does not bully the person back or use physical violence. You should teach them positive ways to defend themselves and make sure they do not take part in continuing the cycling of bullying. Children will often try to harm their bully back, and while this may work for a little while, it will only perpetuate the problem. Children who are bullied will often try to get revenge in this way but it is not the best way to take action. You should tell your child that the most important thing to do is tell an adult about what is going on. Many children are afraid that telling someone about being bullied will only make the bullying worse. Make sure your child knows that telling an adult is the best way to make bullying stop. It is natural for a child who is being bullied to be reluctant to talk about it, so make sure you reassure them that you can only help. Children may not want to talk to their parents or their teachers, so have them find a trusted adult they can confide in such as a coach or clergy person. Encourage your child to continue spending time with friends and doing the activities they enjoy. Many children that are being bullied will withdrawal from friends, school and activities so be sure prevent this and support your child in their activities. Sticking with friends will make your child less of a target and continuing in activities will help to boost their confidence, both things that can prevent bullying. If your child is being bullied, make sure they do not become depressed or start bullying others. Many children will resort to picking on others or become depressed if they are being bullied themselves. Make sure you child does not act out in this way as it will only cause more emotional damage and is not a healthy way to deal with problems. Many times bullying occurs because a child has no other way to cope with their problems. Give your child support and ideas on how to better solve problems so that they will not continue the cycle of bullying. Where Can Bullying Occur? Bullying can occur in many different places, although most people think it happens only at school and between children. Bullying can happen between adults as well and between children in other places besides school. Knowing where bullying can occur is a good way to help prevent it. No matter if you have a child or are experiencing bullying yourself, you should be aware of the places it can occur. Bullying can occur at school, and this is the most common place. Children will bully each other for many different reasons including insecurity and even if they are popular. Schools usually take bullying seriously but it can be hard to tell if children are being bullied because they are often reluctant to talk about it. Physical bullying is common among young boys and young girls tend to say mean things and spread rumors to bully others. Bullying in school has been a problem for a long time and can have serious consequences of not dealt with promptly and appropriately. Bullying can occur in other places where children interact. The school bus and around the neighborhood where children play are common sites of bullying. Children will use any opportunity they can to bully others and these places offer the greatest chances of being able to interact. Bullying can also occur at home with siblings bullying each other. Bullies like to act out in private so places where kids can be alone are the biggest places bullying can occur. Children are not the only ones who bully each other. Adults can be bullies too and bullying can occur in the workplace. Adults will treat co workers poorly in a variety of ways to lessen their value and sabotage their work. Adults will constantly criticize their victims even if it is unwarranted, belittle their accomplishments, and file false grievances and accusations. Adults sometimes bully because they perceive another person as a threat to their job and want to make them look bad instead of improving their own work. Adults can also bully others simply because they don't like them or because others do so. The computer and mobile devices have opened a completely new way for bullies to torment others. Bullying can occur online through emails, IM's, on websites, and through phone calls and text messages. This type of bullying is called cyber bullying and is becoming increasingly common. Adult bullying can occur in the workplace using these methods as well as other written messages. Both children and adults will say mean things to try to embarrass or torment their victim online. Cyber bullying is particularly effective because bullies can reach a huge audience. There are many places bullying can occur and being able to identify bullying is the best way to stop it. Just because problems are not occurring between children or at school, does not mean what is going on is not bullying. If a person is being unfairly targeted by another person relentlessly in the attempt to humiliate, belittle, hurt, or otherwise harm a person, chances are that it is bullying. Characteristics of Adult Bully Targets Adult bullies target their victims in many of the same way children who bully do. While many people think that bullying only occurs amongst children, it can also happen in the workplace among adults. No matter what the age of a bully, they are opportunistic and tend to prey on people they perceive as a threat or that they dislike because of differences. Adult bullies almost always bully others continuously and when one target leaves, quickly pick another. The following traits are common in adult bullying victims and usually make the bully feel insecure or threatened. Adult bullying can be more of a challenge to handle because it is harder to recognize and not as widely accepted as the bullying that occurs with children. Adult bullies target people who are good at their job and excel beyond them. Bullies want to eliminate their competition and make their work seem better than it is. While bullying is not acceptable no matter the age of the person doing it, adults will still bully others if they see it as the only way to solve their problems. Adult bullies target people who put them in danger of looking bad in an attempt to sabotage their work. Adult bullies target people who are popular and well liked as well, especially if they are not too popular them selves. The more well liked and competent a person is, the bigger the threat they are to an adult bully. If an adult bully is seeking attention, they will target people who receive the most attention and try to make them seem less valuable. Adult bullies target people with differences from themselves, especially those who have high morals and integrity. Adult bullies usually have problems coping with their own problems and are desperately trying to find ways to make themselves look better by targeting other adults who they perceive will not fight back. Adult bullies seek out these people because they are less likely to retaliate against them. Adult bullies target people with vulnerabilities as well, such as inexperienced employees or older employees. If a new employee refuses to join an established clique or act a certain way, adult bullies target them. If new employees do not conform or have new and independent ideas, they also may be targeted. Adult bullies target employees who have talents, strong friendships, or who are excelling at their jobs because of jealousy and inadequacy issues. Adult bullies feel as though they have to victimize others because they are envious of their talents. Even though it would be easier to just work harder at developing their own talents, adult bullies seek to damage other people instead of working harder themselves. Employees who have strong relationships with others may be the target of an adult bully because the bully feels left out and is angry that they are excluded. Many adult bullies have had problems forming their own friendships their entire lives. Adult bullying is often overlooked and misunderstood in the workplace. While bullying among children is more common, adult bullying does take place. Types of Bullies in the Workplace Most people think of bullying as occurring between children in school. While this type of bullying is the most common, it is possible, however, for bullying to occur between adults in the work place. Just like in the schoolyard, there are many different reasons why adults bully each other and many different types of bullies. Sometimes an adult bully will act out because they are under stress. They may not even intend to target others at first, but because of stress in the work place they begin targeting others to take their stress out on. These types of adult bully will usually realize what they are doing and stop after the stress subsides although they may continue targeting others. Many times, an adult bully will target a person who is in a position of authority. Sometimes employees will target their boss, or in some cases employees will be bullied by the people they are serving, this most commonly occurs in nursing and in schools. Patients and students will relentlessly target the people trying to help them for a variety of reasons, and the professionals will have no idea how to handle it as there are strict rules of conduct they must follow. A true adult bully will continually bully others, even to the point of having them fired. The bully will appear calm and confident and deny any charges made by the victim to a boss or human resources officer. Many times the victim will not have any proof that they are being bullied and will either resign or get fired if their work performance is affected. Then the adult bully will move on to another target and continue the cycle of bullying. This is the most common way adult bullying occurs and is why it is hard to stop. Just as with kids, sometimes bullies will only act in conjunction with others. If someone realizes that another employee is bulling others, they may join the bully instead of standing up for the victim because it is easier. People who bully others will often act together as they act as support for each other. Bullies working together can include pairs or even groups. Often employees who have formed a friendship or are involved together will work together to intimidate other employees for their gain. Often one adult bully will be very subtle and the other will be more obvious making the bullying more effective. Sometimes a larger group of employees will gang up on and single out another employee to undermine his work or force him to quit. These groups of bullies will usually pick a person that is different from them or that they all dislike. They will act together to intimidate and target the employee for ridicule. Even though many people don't realize that there is such a thing as an adult bully, there are many work places that have them. Dealing with an adult bully can be challenging and co workers that are being bullied may have no choice other than to quit. How Common is Bullying? Many people think that bullying is a common part of childhood, and sadly, it is. Bullying affects close to half of students in high school and middle school. Estimates by the National Youth Violence Prevention in 2006 say that 30% of students either are bullied on a regular basis or are bullies themselves. About 11% of children are bullying victims while a slightly higher percentage, 13%, are doing the bullying. 6% of children say that they have been both the bullying victim and the bully at one time or another. This starling evidence shows that bullying is all too common in schools and the serious nature of bullying can damage the lives of these children. Any child can be the victim of bullying, but some types of students are more likely than others to be targeted. Any child that is different whether it is race, ethnicity, religion, physical limitations or mental limitations is at a higher risk of being bullied. Bullying is more common among boys than girls and is more likely to be physical. It is common for bullying among girls to be emotional and based on what children say about each other. Bullying can take place anywhere that children interact, including on the computer and over the phone. Bullying is common even from children who are confident and popular. A common misconception about bullying is that bullies are usually children with low self-esteem and are trying to compensate for their own problems. This is not the case and frequently bullies are confident, popular students who pick on others for the fun of it. Bullies often act out as a way to dominate others and to impress their friends. Bullies feel no remorse for what they do and are often in trouble in other areas of school. Bullies who are shown proper ways to interact with other are more likely to have serious problems later in life. It is common for children who are bullies in school to develop problems with the law later as adults and to get involved with drug and alcohol abuse. Bullying victims can usually overcome the effects of bullying, especially if the bully is stopped before they have a chance to do any permanent damage. Not all cases of bullying have long term effects, but if not stopped in time they can. Children who are bullied relentlessly for a long time are more likely to be depressed and suicidal, even later in life. Bullying victims are also likely to drop out of school or do poorly in school as a result of all the stress placed on them by the bully. Bullying victims also tend to have low self-esteem that may never improve. Bullying is a common and serious problem in schools today. Parents and teacher should closely monitor children for signs of bullying and stop any incidents before both the bully and victim suffer long-term consequences. The serious nature of bullying is often overlooked by good natured parents and teachers who think it is something that will be outgrown, and while that is sometimes the case, bullying should not be taken lightly. Common Misconceptions About Bullying There are many common misconceptions about bullying. Thinking that bullying is a normal part of childhood and the victims should just toughen up is perhaps the most stereotypical view of bullying and the biggest bullying misconception. Thinking this way can have serious consequences for both victims and bullies. Bullying should not be tolerated and letting a bully continue picking on others just reinforces their behavior and sets them up to continue making poor choices for the rest of their lives. Bullying victims can also suffer from low self esteem, depression, and a poor self image. Another bullying misconception is that bullies have low self esteem. Many bullies are popular and are very confident. Bullies are not the unconfident kids trying to make up for their problems like people once assumed. Bullying may actually be a way that kids try to dominate others and assert their power. Children who bully often act in conjunction with their friends and use bullying as a way to fit in with them. Children who have friends and like to be in control will bully others as a way to assert their power and impress their fiends, albeit in the wrong way. Many people also have the bullying misconception that bullying occurs only in lower class neighborhoods and schools. This is not the case, and plenty of bullying cases occur in high class neighborhoods and schools. Bullying can occur no matter what socioeconomic class a child is in. Many upper-class schools have bullying problems because children feel as though they are better than others and try to show how much power they have over children they perceive as weaker than them. The bullying misconception that boys are only kids that bully is also wrong. Boys do bully more than girls, but girls can also be bullies. Bullying among boys is often physical where girls tend to use emotional bullying by saying mean things and spreading rumors to humiliate people. Bothe types of bullying can have devastating effects on bullying victims and leave them with self esteem problems and a lifetime of insecurity. Another bullying misconception is that bullying most commonly occurs in high school rather than in younger children. Studies have shown that bullying occurs at all ages but the most common ages are in middle school, not high school and elementary. Children from 9-13 years old are the most likely ages to bully. Children in this age group are just beginning to face stress in school and the pressure to fit in, so bullying becomes a common way cope with these problems. Many people think that remarks made with bullying most commonly target intelligence and are meant to demean a person. Studies suggest, however, that the most common insults used while bullying are about a kid's perceived sexual orientation. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is the most common thing kids tease each other about. Finding socially unacceptable faults such as these make some children easier targets for bullying. There are many bullying misconceptions and truly understanding what bullying is will help to stop and prevent it.
Cyber Bullying VS Traditional Bullying Bullying has long been a problem in school but was usually confined to the school yard or the hallway. Technology makes bullying even easier than it was before with email, chat rooms, and an unlimited audience online. There was a time when all bullying happened face to face but now with the internet, children can bully each other through popular communication methods even anonymously. Traditional bullies always had to let their victims see them and could only gain the support of friends who were around. Cyber bullies can humiliate, threaten, and belittle their victims without their identity being known, or they can have an audience of thousands. Cyber bullies are becoming more and more common as children use these communication methods more and more in their daily lives. Cyber bullies can say things that they can not in front of other people in chat rooms, IM's and on websites. This allows children to be much meaner than they traditionally could. Things that they could not say in front of adults and even other children are now easily said online. Cyber bullying is potentially an even bigger threat than traditional bullying because the potential for damaging statements is even greater. Traditional bullies could only reach an audience of the other children around, with the internet hundreds of children can gang up on a single child. Cyber bullying is also easier to do than traditional bullying. All it takes is a few key strokes and a cyber bully can humiliate their target. Children are less inhibited when online and it is not as hard to bully when it is over a computer. Traditional bullies had to have the courage to physically bully another child or at least use comments to their face. Cyber bullies have to use much less effort and can be more impulsive. Traditional bullies could only act out on their victims when they saw them. This confined bullying to school and places that children interacted face to face. Cyber bullies can bully others any time as cell phones and computers are both at home and at school. Traditional bullies could not hurt others at home, but with cyber bullies, home is usually where bullying occurs via the computer. This leaves no safe place for the targets of bullying to go as computers are essential nowadays for completing schoolwork and communicating with friends. Even though emails and messages are easy to stop, cyber bullies is not as easy to stop as traditional bullies are. Derogatory and hurtful comments posted online and shared between people are impossible to stop and can potentially reach an unlimited number of people. Once a comment is posted online it can reach an unlimited number of people and the ramifications can be huge. Stopping a traditional bully was relatively easy with the right preventative measures, but the anonymous nature of the internet makes it impossible. There are many differences between cyber bullies and traditional bullies but both types are serious issues. Bullying negatively affects both the bully and the victim and if not stopped can cause serious long term damage. Is Your Child a Bully? If you suspect that your child is a bully, you should take steps to ensure that they do not harm others or start a habit of ridiculing people that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. Bullying can have serious consequences for children, including the bully. Children who bully are much more likely to get involved with drugs and crime later in life as well as have poor interpersonal skills. This is why it is important to stop them if they are bullies, not to mention all the damage they can do to other children. If you think your child is a bully, there are some questions you can ask to determine if they really are, and behaviors you should look out for. If you know that your child has repeatedly hit, pushed, or otherwise hurt another child, this is a sign that they may be a bully. Not all children will exhibit this behavior in front of a adult or even admit to it, but habitually hurting others is a big bullying warning sign. If your child has ever ganged up with another child to hurt someone or asked their friends to hurt another person they may also be a bully. If you have seen your child spread rumors about another child either when talking to a friend or through a note, email, or IM, then they may be a bully. Emotionally hurting other children is another common way that children bully one and other and is just as serious. If your child is a bully, they will use these methods to humiliate other children. Bullies will also exclude others from play and other activities to bully them so if you think your child is a bully watch for this behavior. Good natured teasing does occur between children and chances are you will hear your child teasing their friends at one point or another. Teasing another child if it is unwanted or hurtful, indicates bullying. If you think your child is a bully, this teasing will not be good natured and between friends. It will be frequent and directed at children that they are not friends with. If you see your child doing this behavior make sure you let then know that it is not acceptable, and that it is not funny and will not help them to make healthy friends. Many times a bully does not understand the consequences of their actions and needs help understanding what can happen. If you notice that close friends of your child partake in this type of behavior, it does not always mean your child is a bully but they may act along with their friends. It is common for a child to bully others because their friends do it, and even though they are not the one who initiates the bullying, they can suffer just the same. If you notice this type of behavior in either your child or their friends, make sure they know that bullying is not acceptable. Addressing a Bullying Victim -- Tips for Teachers Bullying is all too common in schools today. It is also a problem that should not be taken lightly; bullying can have serious consequences. Children bully for many reasons and sometimes it resolves itself and other times permanent damage can be done to bullying victims. Because of the possibility of physical and emotional injury, all cases of bullying must be taken seriously. Teachers are often the first adults to realize that bullying is occurring because they can observe children interacting. Helping a bullying victim can be a sensitive matter, but both bullies and bullying victims must be dealt with to ensure that the bullying stops. If you are a teacher or caregiver, there are some tips you can use to help a bullying victim. You should let the bullying victim know that you care about them and are concerned about what is happening. At the same time, being overly sympathetic especially in front of others can be counter productive. Do not try to discuss the problem with a bullying victim until you are alone or not in the presence of any other children. Ask that the bullying victim tell you exactly what is happening and reassure them that their feelings are normal and that it is not their fault. Let the bullying victim know that talking about their problem to your and their parents will only help the situation and is the right thing to do. Give the bullying victim tools and information to cope with and prevent further bullying issues. Talking to the parents of the bullying victim is also important. Parents and teachers working together is the best way to stop bullying and help a bullying victim. You should also speak with the parents of the bully so that they can address the problem at the cause. Explain what is happening in a non-confrontational manner and dispel any misunderstandings about bullying that parents may have. Many parents think that bullying is normal and is no big deal, but once they know how serious it can be they will be more concerned. You should give parents tools and information to help them address bullying issues with their child. Teachers play an important role in preventing and solving bullying problems. Both the bullying victim and the bully should be counseled on ways to deal with their problems to prevent bullying in the future. Bullying is a very common problem that children face, and eventually you will have to deal with it head on. Remember that it is a touchy subject with most children and they may be reluctant to talk about it. Because bullying can turn into a serious problem, it should not be ignored. Do your best to reassure the bullying victim and make the bully aware that their actions are not acceptable and can have serious consequences. Parental involvement is also important and can go a long way to solve the problem. Addressing both the bullying victim and the bully in a timely fashion is the best way to curtail bullying in your school. What To Do If Your Child Is A Victim of Bullying One of parent's worst nightmares is to find out that their child is being picked on in school. Some parents view bullying as normal behavior that is no big deal, and while many cases of bullying do resolve themselves, other times a victim of bullying can suffer long term affects. Parents should not take bullying lightly, but at the same time, overreacting is also not a good idea. If your child is a victim of bullying, you should assess the seriousness of the situation and react accordingly. Taking steps to stop the bullying is the best thing a parent can do with out singling out their child. If your child comes to you and says they are the victim of bullying, or you think that they may be the victim of bullying, talk with them to see what is going on. Children are often reluctant to talk about being the victim of bullying so it is important to reassure them that talking about it will only help and that you care about their well-being. Many kids think that telling their parents or teachers about being a victim of bullying will only make it worse so be sure to take positive steps to stop it that will not instigate the problem. Children are often afraid that they bully will find out that they told on them and bully them even more severely. While this is a legitimate fear, taking the proper action will not result in this. You should find out what your child has tried to do to stop the bullying and give them other ways to stop it. Often if the victim of bullying reacts in the right way, the bully will stop. If your child is being bullied but the situation is not putting them at any risk of physical, emotional, or self esteem damage, the best thing to do is to give your child advice on how to stop bullying themselves and let them handle it. Sometimes ignoring a bully, using humor, or just remaining calm will stop bullying. When children react confidently and assert themselves to a bully, he will often stop without adult intervention. If your child is a victim of bullying and it is severe enough to cause physical, emotional or self-esteem damage, then you and your child should contact the school and inform your child's teacher and principal what is going on. Schools have no tolerance for bullying and if they are aware of what is going on will work with parents and students to create a solution. Confronting the parent of your child's bully may or may not be a good idea so it is best to talk with the school first. Sometimes a bully's parents will be unaware of what is going on and will be willing to help. Other times a bullies parents will deny that there is a problem or not want to help. In any case, the bully needs to be stopped and some sort of positive action should be taken. Military Bullying In school and in the workplace, standing up to a bully can be hard but it is possible and leaving the situation is also an option. For bullying that occurs in the military, victims have a much harder time coping. For military personnel who are subjected to bullying by their peers and even superior officers, they have little recourse or ways to seek help. Military bullying is common in the armed forces and has even caused quite a few suicides in the armies of various countries. Although the armed forces have policies on hazing and bullying, they often go un enforced and military bullying continues. Bullying in the military is a very serious issue, although it is often overlooked. In the civilian world, bullying victims can stand up to their bullies, file claims against them, and seek other forms of help. In the armed forces, soldiers are subject to severe discipline and have no realistic options to fight bullying. Soldiers are isolated both socially and by having to reside only on base or in the field. Military Bullying victims cannot seek outside help or the help of other officers for fear of severe discipline. Often the military bullying occurs from a senior officer to a lower ranking soldier so they have no way to fight back. Trapped in this vicious cycle, many soldiers seek out suicide as their only option to stop the violence. Soldiers are usually unable to leave the base or the field for prolonged amounts of time, which prevents them from getting help. They are trapped in their situation, isolated and venerable to more bullying. They are forced to endure bullying with no way to take action. The military environment is the prefect environment for bullying to thrive as it is based on a hierarchy and solders are forced to prove that they are macho and worthy of service. Although the military environment is the perfect catalyst for bullying, there is no reason why it should occur and damages the lives of countless solders. Even older personnel are not immune to military bullying, even though it most commonly occurs with new recruits. Older officers can be bullied into leaving their position early or to make decisions in the favor of other officers. Many times older personnel are bullied into retiring early to save on pension costs. Even when confronted with the problem of military bullying, few people admit that it is quite common and can have serious consequences. Because of the attitude of the armed forces, bullying is often overlooked which is a tragedy for those victimized.. There have been numerous cases of suicides form severe military bullying and even cases that appeared to be homicides but were never found as such. Even though the military environment seems to necessitate bullying, it should not be allowed. The rules and regulations that are supposed to stop military bullying are seldom followed, allowing bullying to continue unchecked in the military. Many cases of military bullying are covered up or denied to lessen the seriousness of the problem. What To Do If Your Child Is A Bully Children commonly tease each other and often times it is in good nature and has no negative effects. However, when a child becomes a bully, they can seriously injure children both physically and emotionally. It is important to stop bullying before it escalates to the point that a child is hurt. Most people think about stopping bullying by dealing with the victim, but what should you do if your child is a bully? There are many different reasons why a child becomes a bully, some are not too serious and can easily be overcome and others are serious issues that must be dealt with for the well-being of both bully and victim. Children may bully others because they have low self-esteem themselves, they want attention of are trying to fit in with other kids that bully. They may experience abuse or bullying themselves from other children or adults. No matter what the reason is, if your child is a bully you should take the following actions. You should first discuss with your child what has been going on and get their side of the story. Many times a child who is a bully is being bullied himself or is facing other types of abuse. Always get your child's side of the story to determine their motive behind being a bully. If your child is looking for attention, trying to make friends, or has low self-esteem himself, you can better help him cope with his problems if you find the underlying cause of what is going on. Let your child know that bullying is a serious issue and will have negative consequences if it continues. Schools do not tolerate bullying and eventually your child's actions will catch up with him. Let him know that his behavior must stop or there will be serious consequences. Many times a bully who is not stopped will have lifelong problems with crime and drugs. Talk to your child's teacher or other school official who has or can witness your child's bullying. Working together to stop your child's bullying will be more effective than working alone. Discuss ways to work together to stop your child from being a bully. Teachers are more than willing to help stop bullying as schools take it very seriously. If there are other children involved with your child's bullying, talk to their parents. Sometimes children act together as bullies and not all the parents may be aware of it. Parents that act together will strengthen the message that being a bully is not ok and have an easier time of stopping it. Finally, you should address the reason why your child is being a bully. If your child wants attention, more friends, or just to fit in, give them ways to accomplish this without bullying. If your child has other issues that may be more serious like bipolar disorder or low self-esteem, seek professional help for the well-being of your child. Giving your child positive ways to problem solve will go a long way to stop their bullying. Differences Between Adult Bullying and Harassment Adult bullying in the workplace occurs more often than people think, if they are aware that it occurs at all. Many people think bullying in the workplace is the same as harassment, and while they are similar, there are differences between bullying and harassment. There is a fine line in many cases, but one of the major differences between bullying and harassment in the workplace is that harassment is easy to stop whereas bullying is not. One of the main differences between bullying and harassment is that harassment has physical components such has unwanted touching, intruding in personal space, and damaging possessions. Bullying is almost always emotional or psychological and involves verbal and written communication and actions. The subtle nature of workplace bullying makes it harder to stop than harassment. Another one of the differences between bullying and harassment is that adult bullies will target anyone, even popular successful people. Adult bullies will target people they perceive as a better than tem at their job not people who are a minority or weaker than themselves. Harassment, however, usually singles out people who are different based on racial, gender, and other differences. Harassment of these minorities is identified and even expected, but bullying of people who do not have these differences is harder to identify. Harassment is based on discrimination, one of the differences between bullying and harassment is that bullying is based on jealousy or insecurity. Only one instance of harassment is needed to identify it as harassment. The differences between bullying and harassment are that bullying is an ongoing problem. Harassment can happen repeatedly but it does not have to. Bullying always occurs more than once and many time very frequently. Harassment it also obvious and involves things that companies make very clear. Bullying can be much more subtle and the victim may not even realize they are being bullied until after it has been occurring regularly. The differences between bullying and harassment are that harassment victims are recognized and sympathized with, while bullying victims are often not recognized or dealt with in the appropriate manner. Another one of the differences between bullying and harassment is that harassment is often done in the open and to boost the image of the person doing the harassment or prove to their peers that they are macho. These motives behind harassment are different than the motives behind bullying. Bullying usually occurs in private and is not publicly admitted. A workplace bully does not want other to know what they are doing and will deny that anything is going on at all. Adult bullies just want to damage their target enough so that they are not a threat anymore. Harassment can take place both inside and outside of work while bullying occurs mostly in the workplace. Harassers often take pleasure in targeting others, while bullies do it to hide their own insecurities and to eliminate the threat they perceive in other people. There are many differences between bullying and harassment, which must be identified in order to differentiate between both types of injustices. What to do if you Witness Bullying If your child witnesses bullying, it is a great time to tell them how they can help to stop it. Children who take a proactive approach to bullying will go long way to stop it from happening again. Make sure your child knows what to do if they see bullying, especially since they can be reluctant to tell an adult about it. The following advice is great for kids who have seen bullying and want to know what to do about it. Openly discussing how to handle the situation if your child witnesses bullying is a good way to give your child positive ways to deal with it. Your child can probably imagine how they would feel if they were bullied. Most children can understand how much bullying can hurt, and also how hard it is to talk to someone. Make sure they know if they ever witness bullying that it is ok to tell an adult, and is actually the right ting to do. Kids may feel like they cannot tell an adult because the bullying will get worse but normally the bully will never find out and will be stopped. Telling an adult is the best way to stop bullying although there are things your child can do to help as well. You should encourage your child to tell you, and the teachers or other adults that can help if they witness bullying. Tell your child that you, and all other school officials will be happy to help if they are made aware that a child is being bullied. Make sure your child knows that telling an adult about bullying is not like tattle tailing because bullying is a serious issue. Make sure that your child is not afraid to speak up if they witness bullying. You should also tell your child that if they witness bullying a good thing to do is to support the child being bullied. Your child will probably be sympathetic towards the child being bullied and standing up for them, or at least spending time with them, will help to alleviate the bullying. You should not force your child to do so, but make sure they know that it is a good way to make a difference. Your child should only stand up to a bully if they feel comfortable doing so. If your child witness bullying, make sure they know that they should stand up to the bully calmly and show them that their actions are not cool or funny. If your child does not feel comfortable doing this, make sure they know that it is ok as well. Sometimes it is best to just ignore the bullying attempts they witness and encourage the victim to do so as well. Kids that witness bullying can do a lot to stop it by getting involved. Kids that witness bullying should not put themselves in the position to get bullied, rather notify an adult right away and if they feel comfortable doing so stand up for the bullying victim. Most kids will be willing to help in this way, especially if it is a friend who is being bullied. How to Prevent Bullying Many children are victims of bullying. Most of these children don't know how to stop of prevent bullying which is why we as adults must step in to ensure that bullying does not occur. There are many different reasons why kids bully others, and bullying cases can very in severity. No matter how severe bullying is, it is never acceptable and should be handled quickly. If you think your child is at a risk for being bullied, there are things you can do to prevent bullying. It is easier to prevent bullying than to stop it once it has started so keep the following tips in mind for your child to prevent bullying before it starts. Bullying often happens in unsupervised areas so to prevent bullying tell your kids to avoid being alone in hallways, at recess, and in other areas of the school. Encourage your child to meet and associate with quality friends as bullies are more likely to target children that are alone. Another way to prevent bullying is to advise your child to walk away from situation with bullies. Many times ignoring bullying attempts is the best way to prevent bullying as most bullies are trying to get a reaction out of the children they pick on. Bullies like to pick on children who are not confident or assertive. Teaching kids to act confidently is a good way to prevent bullying. Children who appear confident and can assert themselves when confronted by a bully are less likely to be picked on. Even if a bully targets your child once, a calm and confident reaction will decrease the chances that your child will be targeted again. Children should not cry or get upset if they are bullied, instead the best way to prevent bullying is for them to use an assertive voice and tell the bully to stop. Bullies like to get a rise out of the kids they pick on so children that are clam and assertive will be less likely to be bullied again. Because bullies like to pick on children who are not confident, a good way to prevent bullying is to get your child involved in activities that boost their confidence. Children who have other areas of their life to feel confident in will carry over that attitude into situations where they can be bullied. Any enjoyable activity that your child excels at will help to make them more confident and in turn that confidence will help prevent bullying. If your child has confidence and self esteem, it will be easier for them to ignore a bully and not let the bully's actions bother them. If your child learns how to respond to a bully and develops a good self image, it will be easy for them to prevent bullying. Make sure your child knows that the bullying is not their fault if they are targeted and that it is not acceptable. Many children are hesitant to turn to adults for help, but telling an adult right away is the best way to prevent bullying in the future. What is Workplace Bullying? Although bullying is considered something that happens between children at school, it can also happen between adults in the workplace. Workplace bullying is when one employee, or a group of employees, targets another person for ridicule, criticism, and threats. Workplace bullying is more common than many people think and can take on different forms. Many times the person who is being bullied will not try to peruse their bully, because they are unsure what to do. Workplace bullying, like the bullying that takes place between children, is meant to damage another person either physically or emotionally; in the adult world it is usually emotionally. Victims of workplace bullying are constantly criticized for trivial things and their accomplishments are belittled or overlooked. Victims of workplace bullying are also undermined by the bully at every chance they get. Victims are often the target of false accusations and doubts as well. Even though these accusations and doubts are untrue, a workplace bully uses them to control their victim. Another form of workplace bullying is exclusion from groups or denial of information about what is going on in the workplace. Workplace bullying victims are often left out of the loop by their bullies and denied access to resources and projects. This occurs because a bully is trying to undermine their victim and make their own work seem better than it is. Victims of workplace bullying are also treated differently than everyone else by the bully, and are subject to stricter rules and different standards. This is done to make it easier for them to fail and seem inadequate. Workplace bullying can also include shouting, humiliating, and teasing the victim. Workplace bullies will do this to try to damage their victims confidence and make their work suffer. Workplace bullies often set higher standards and unrealistic goals and deadlines for their victims to make them look bad. Workplace bullying victims can also be given excessive work or forced to work an excessive amount of hours under threat of dismissal. Another common form of workplace bullying is having work stolen. A workplace bully will take the work of their victim and then pass it off as their own to their boss or manager. The victim will usually have no proof that the work is actually theirs and will have no recourse. Workplace bullying victims are also commonly denied of requests they make for time off, even if they are entitled to them. Workplace bullying victims are made to think that they are at fault even though it is the bully who is wrong. Workplace bullies will do whatever it takes to eliminate their perceived threats. It can be hard to identify workplace bullying and even harder to stop it, keeping a record of bullying interactions and remaining calm is the best way to deal with workplace bullying. Sometimes it will be necessary to take your problems to your superiors, even if you skip over a direct supervisor. Do not accept workplace bullying and do your best to try and stop it. Is My Child in Danger of Becoming a Bully? Bullies are commonly thought of as children who have low self-esteem and are unpopular. While many times this is true, bullies can also be popular and confident and act out to impress friends or assert their dominance over their victims. Bullies will often have many friends who contribute to and support bullying behavior. There are many reasons why children become bullies and there are risk factors for bullying behavior that increase the chances a child will become a bully. Not all bullies seemingly have these tendencies, but many do. Bullying is different with males and females, although the risk factors for bullying behavior are similar. Male bullies are often bigger, more popular, and more aggressive than their victims are. Risk factors for bullying behavior in males include impulsive behavior, an angry disposition, general aggression, and poor ability to cope with problems or frustration. Having poor problem solving skills is the reason many children resort to bullying. Male bullies often feel the need to be dominant and have a hard time empathizing with others as well. These risk factors for bullying behavior do not guarantee that a male child will become a bully but they do indicate an increased risk for bullying behavior. Giving children with these traits positive ways to deal with their stress is a good way to prevent bullying. Female bullies have similar risk factors for bullying behavior although the way in which females bully each other is usually different. Females tend to use more social and psychological forms of bullying than physical forms. Girls tend to use mean comments and other emotional abuse to bully their victims. Girls who frequently exclude others in activities, are generally mean spirited, or frequently gossip have increased risk factors for bullying behavior. Impulsive behavior, an angry disposition, general aggression, and poor ability to cope with problems or frustration are also risk factors for bullying behavior in girls although girls tend to do their bullying in non-physical ways. All children have risk factors for bullying behavior if they come from unstable home environments. Children whose parents give them little attention, emotional support, and supervision all have increased risk factors for bullying behavior. Parents who are not involved in their children's life or have extreme discipline practices are also giving their children an increased risk factor for bullying behavior. Children need to learn positive ways to problem solve and the importance of treating others kindly and with respect. This type of home life can cause children to start bullying to seek attention, to make up for their home life, or just because they think that is the way to solve their problems because they have no better examples of problem solving from home. Not all children from homes with a poor environment will become bullies, some overcome their home lives and understand on their own that bullying is not a good way to solve problems. If you know that your child has any of these risk factors, make sure you teach them positive problem solving methods and make it clear that bullying is unacceptable. How to Stop Cyber Bullying Cyber bullying is the new way that bullies target their victims. They use IM's, chat rooms, and websites to threaten, humiliate, and belittle their victims. If your child has experienced cyber bullying you should take it seriously. Discourage your child from responding to cyber bullying and make sure you save all the messages and pictures that were used to bully your child. You should also try to identify the person or people who are doing the bullying, and if the bullying breaks the law you can have authorities trace it for you. Sometimes using inappropriate language violates the terms of chat room and IM service agreements and the bully may be banned from using these services if they are reported. It is also possible to block most cyber bullying attacks on the phone and computer. Screen names and phone numbers can be blocked so that your child will not continue to receive inappropriate messages. Bullies can assume new names but chances are they will loose interest if they are continually blocked. If your child's cyber bullying occurs at school, you should contact the schools administrator so they can stop it. Sending messages that are considered bullying is against school rules and action will be taken if it occurs on school property. There is little schools can do if the cyber bullying occurs off school property, but depending on what is happening, you may be able to take legal action. You may not know the identity of the cyber bully as the internet can be anonymous. If you do know the identity of the cyber bully, contacting their parents is a good idea.. You should make your contact written and be sure to explain the situation in a non confrontational manner. The bullies parents may not be aware that their child is bullying others online and will probably be willing to help. If you have proof of the cyber bullying instances show them to the bullies parents so that they can see what is going on. Children are often not aware of the damage and the ramifications that can occur as a result of cyber bullying, and will continue if adults do not step in to stop them. Even if children know the damage they can cause, chances are they will not stop until adults take action. If cyber bullying is serious enough, it can actually be against the law. If cyber bullying is harassing, threatening, or pornographic in nature you should contact authorities because this type of bullying may be illegal and you may be able to take legal action. Sometimes cyber bullies will steal passwords and accounts, which is also illegal. Contact your local police department and tell them what has been going on. Make sure you take action as soon as you realize that your child is being bullied online. Sometimes cases of cyber bullying can get out of hand and have serious consequences. The huge audience that cyber bullying can attract make it much worse than traditional bullying and can permanently damage a child emotionally. The Facts on Cyber Bullying Cyber bullying is the newest type of bullying and has not been studied as much as traditional forms of bullying. Many children report being bullied via the internet or cell phone and the effects can be devastating. Children also report that bullies spread rumors and say other mean things about them online where many different people can see it. The potential audience for cyber bullying is unlimited making it even more appealing to bullies. Bullies will also threaten their victims online and belittle them for their own amusement. Girls are twice as likely as boys to be cyber bullies as well as be targeted by cyber bullies. Normally boys are the most likely children to bully others but this is not true with cyber bullying. Boys tend to physically bully others while girls use emotional methods, which can be perfectly carried out over the computer. Cyber bullying also can be anonymous and many children who are the victims of cyber bullying never know who was bullying them. Cyber bullying is not restricted to school either, it can happen anywhere children have access to computers or cell phones. Bullying used to be confined to school, but with cyber bullying can now reach children anywhere. Cyber bullying commonly occurs in IM's and in chat rooms. Cyber bullying can also occur in blogs and on websites when a bully posts damaging things about their victim. The internet makes bullying easy and bullies can torment victims in new ways. Using the internet gives cyber bullies an even more devious way to humiliate others than traditional bullying. About half of pre teens tell an adult about their experiences with cyber bullying and this number drops as children get older. Cyber bullying also makes it easier for the victim to retaliate against the bully as they can just as easily post their own damaging responses. This ease of use makes perpetuating the bullying cycle more common. This is not necessarily the best idea, as it will probably make the bullying worse and only reinforce the idea that bullying is ok. Cyber bullying can affect anyone and the same stereotypes that apply to traditional bullying do not apply to cyber bullying. Cyber bullies can pick on anyone, even those more confident and popular than themselves. Cyber bullies can even pick on children older and bigger than them because of the anonymous nature of the internet. If a cyber bully wants to hurt another person, the internet gives them the perfect vehicle to do so. Parents must take steps to stop and prevent cyber bullying just like other types of bullying. Any form of bullying can have serious consequences and cyber bullying can be particularly dangerous because it can reach so many people and be so humiliating. Take cyber bullying seriously so that your child does not fall victim, or bully others. Make your child aware that cyber bullying is unacceptable and if they are the target they should tell an adult right away. Taking action quickly is the best way to stop cyber bullying before it gets out of hand. How to Deal With a Bully in the Workplace Many people are unaware that adult bullying occurs, and chances are if you are being bullied at work you have no idea how to handle it. It can be hard to deal with an adult bully because workplace bullying is not widely known or understood. Often times the bully is a person of authority, making it even harder to deal with an adult bully. There are not set rules for dealing with an adult bullies there are harassment laws, so stopping an adult bully can be especially challenging. If you or someone you know needs help dealing with an adult bully, these tips can help. The first thing you should do to deal with an adult bully is to keep a detailed written account of each instance of bullying. Being able to prove that you are constantly singled out for no reason and are the target of frequent attacks will go a long way to deal with an adult bully. Keep your records in a safe place, not at work where the bully can find them. You should also keep copies of all written interactions from the bully including memos, notes, and emails that prove you are being treated unfairly. Make a list of every instance of unfair treatment by the bully. If you are criticized or accused of wrongdoing by a bully and the claims are not true, ask for substantiated evidence of these claims and record in writing what the bully says. Many times the bully will not have a response or have evidence that is untrue. Their lack of answer or untrue answer will further prove your case and help to deal with an adult bully. You can even point out to the bully that making false accusations is a form of harassment and that you will seek out the proper recourse. If you are not the only one being bullied, find other employees that have the same experiences and see if they want to pursue the bully together. Sometimes other employees that are having similar problems will be unwilling to cooperate, but sometimes they will be grateful for the help. More than one employee who have the same experiences with a bully will have better chances of dealing with an adult bully together. It will help that you are not the only one experiencing the problem and give validation to your claims. If your occupation has a union or other professional organization, contact them about your bullying problem. Not all unions or organizations will help employees deal with an adult bully but many will or will have information you can use. You can also take your bullying problems to your manager or supervisor, unless they are the one doing the bullying. It is not usually a good idea to skip the proper chain of command, but if a supervisor of manager is the one bullying you, it may be a good idea to speak with their higher-up. If you are the victim of workplace bullying your should get a copy of your company's harassment and bullying policies so you knew what your rights are within the company.
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