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How to Have Better Relationships with Men
by: Caterina Christakos

Menn er ikke et mysterium når De lærer lese dem!

If you know how to read Norwegian, then you know that the above sentence is:

"Men are not a mystery when you know how to read them!"

But if you don't read Norwegian then you were left in the dark. My point? Most women have no idea how to read men. Sure, we may think that we know what they're thinking; we may think that we know what they want, but the truth is: Most of us would have better luck translating Norwegian than we would understanding what's really going on in the average man's head.

Here's a quick quiz for you. Let's see how you do:

1. I try to be nice to men and they reject me.

2. I want men to please me but they rarely do.

3. I have no idea what triggers a man to reject a woman.

4. I end up turning off men who seem interested in me.

I said it was a quick quiz, so I won't bother listing the hundreds of other "male mysteries" that we are confronted with every day. It's enough to simply say: "What in the hell do they really want and how do I show them that I have it?"

Look, get your mind out of the bedroom for a minute. We all know that men have two entirely different brains and that one of those brains has only one goal in life. If that's your only goal as well, then you don't need to understand how men think. All you have to do is waive your booty around and guys will snap you up at night and spit you out in the morning.

But if you are truly interested in finding someone that you can have a committed relationship with (whatever that means to you), then you're going have to start figuring out how that other brain works. I'm talking about the brain that's more complex; the one with multiple needs, feelings, and ego. Unfortunately, when you start trying to get some attention from that brain, everything turns Norwegian on you.

It may be fun and easy to blame the language barrier on the guys, but this failure to communicate is not their fault. Now some of you are going to hate me for saying this, but the truth is -- the fault is ours.

Let me tell you a short story that will illustrate what I mean. A few years ago I went to Toronto for business. I walked into a convenience store to buy some mints and a bottle of water. The clerk rang up the order and gave me the price in Canadian dollars. I asked her how much that was in American dollars. She replied "I don't know, we don't accept American dollars." I was shocked! "You don't accept American dollars?" She replied "If I came into your store in America and tried to pay with Canadian dollars, would you take them?" I saw her point immediately. I was expecting her version of "normal" to match my version of normal. It didn't match and I left the store without my mints and water.

Well friends, we women make the very same error every time we try to communicate with men. Our vision of "normal" doesn't match theirs. Is that their fault? No. It's our fault because we don't bother to try and understand what their vision is.

Now, the argument could be made that men don't make much of an effort to understand our vision of normal either. And while that is certainly true, it's not relevant to the discussion. What is relevant is that ONE of us has to make the effort and, if you're not getting what you want from your relationship with men, then it might as well be you who tries to bridge the language barrier.

And that leads me to my final point for today. I know exactly how to communicate with a man's "other" brain. I know exactly how to get men to do what I want them to do. I know exactly what they are thinking, and I know how to attract a man and how to keep him from rejecting me. I wasn't born knowing all of this, and I certainly can't read Norwegian. But I can read English and, if you can as well, then you really should get your hands on a copy of How to Be Irresistible to Men by Sarah Paul. This is one smart lady when it comes to translating men-speak and her book addresses everything you need to know about how to move from sex symbol to love object and gain a man's respect along the way. It's guaranteed to make your "Ah ha!" light come on. Check it out and see what you've been missing.




 



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