The Art of Seducing a Woman Understanding what a woman is looking for in a man is the first secret to seducing a woman. For many men, the concept of how to seduce a woman is simply a mystery. It's understandable, though. Men and women differ in so many ways that it's difficult for many of us to really grasp how to get inside the mind of the opposite sex. The true key to seducing a woman isn't a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It's more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined. Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it's all downhill from there. Communication is ultimately the most important aspect in seducing a woman. Like so many other aspects of our lives, effective communication is the key to success. You want to take the time to really get to know her and what she's looking for. This will benefit you greatly when it comes to pleasing her, so don't think that getting to know your woman is a pointless, grueling task of learning a bunch of useless information. Patience when seducing your woman is equally important, too. Being in a hurry will only prove to damage any good you could've done by learning anything at all about your woman. When it comes to seducing a woman, take it slow. We want a man to take his time, not just rush in for the brass ring. A woman wants to know that you aren't just playing her for sex. And the best way to prove yourself is to take your time. All in all, women want to feel special. Being romantic makes us feel special. So if you want to seduce your woman you have to be romantic. It proves that you care, that you want to please her and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing a woman. Building Your Confidence in Dating Women When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate "self confidence" with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they're likely to make more money, that's simply not true. While it's a given, women actually look for successful men because they're more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable. And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover. Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you're both equals. When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people -- those who have it and others who simply don't. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be "self confident", or motivated if you would like to call it. Take heart in knowing that you're a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who's confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them! Know What to Look for in a Woman Sometimes, knowing what you're looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you're one of them, don't get discouraged. It truly isn't as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you. The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch. Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You'll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you. In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You're probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did. If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want. However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously, but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance. Don't Judge a Woman by Her Looks! I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it's true. At some point or another we're all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it's not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don't necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone. Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening. Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman. I'm not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It's a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what's inside before you discount women based on what's outside. Your Attitude Counts When it comes to seducing a woman, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you're more likely to attract women more easily than a guy with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Women are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat guys. First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they're around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it's happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone's head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude. But it goes much further than that. When you're trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you're not giving off those positive vibes we'll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you. The bottom line: women like to find a man who's stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn't mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you're changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we're going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 -- 50 relationship. How to be Sensitive with Women If you are hoping to be successful in the world of seduction, you're going to have to know how to be sensitive. When a woman looks at a man, from her unique perspective, one of the key things she sees is how sensitive you are. It can truly be a pass or fail characteristic. If the lady in your life doesn't see a sensitive side, she's going to be put off. Personality counts for so much, especially if you're hoping to go further with a relationship. To begin with, it's important to understand just what sensitivity is. Sensitivity, or being sensitive, is just one of those things that's gotten such a bad rap as to make it virtually a taboo. But false impressions are to blame for that, and we can dismiss such misconceptions here so we can get on with the business of becoming a more sensitive man. But what sensitivity really is, in truth, is responsiveness to things around you. It's a general sense of what's going on. Unfortunately, you may be thinking you've already got it pegged. But don't think it's just a matter of self-awareness and a general idea of the world around you. The sensitivity women want in a man goes a bit further. Or, put more directly, women are looking for a specific kind of sensitivity in men. Here's an example you're sure to remember from some movie you once saw: a young couple are walking along a street at night, and the temperature is dropping. Conveniently, she had forgotten to bring a coat, but he had remembered to bring his. He notices her shivering, and quickly offers his coat to her, despite his own need for the coat. Okay, that's a basic example. But what matters is that the guy was aware of his girlfriend's need, and he did something about it. Moreover, he made a sacrifice for her. This is a big deal. When a man can be more concerned about the welfare of someone else than himself, he's got a chance to impress the ladies. Setting the Mood with Your Date Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you'll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there's no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time. This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn't like. But you don't have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special. Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it's sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There's no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like. If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you'll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don't forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket! The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you're planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant. As long as you've taken care to choose what she likes it's sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she's not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag. Paying More Attention to Your Woman Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we're going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I'm mainly concerned with your success in the realm of seduction. Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you're asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you're saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better. That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn't hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn't, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship. Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word 'communication'. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you're looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you're expecting someone else to listen. But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That's why it's so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.
Find Out As Much As You Can From Your Date Getting to know that special woman is about the time you spend with her, and about what you get from communication, both verbal and physical. And the more you know, the better your chances. Thus if you plan to keep your relationship moving forward, you are going to have to find out as much as you can about her. After all, the last thing you want to do is to upset her. That's a surefire way to kill your chances for romance. First, make sure you give her a chance not only to speak, but to start conversations as well. There is really no better way to get to know her than through the interaction you'll have with her in conversation. What you learn through all of this communication will serve as a great starting point, from which you can move on to the following suggestions to fill in any blanks in your knowledge of her. The point of all of this is to get to know as much as you can about your woman as an individual. So many people think that all women or all men like the same things, which simply is not true. Although there are a good number of things that a lot of women have in common, there are an equal number of things that they don't have in common, either. The same can be said for men. For example, if a woman were to assume that all men love football then she'd be dead wrong! Likewise, a man would be wrong to assume that all women love cats. Each woman is unique, so you must take the time to find out what she, as a unique person, really wants before you can seduce her. Ultimately, it all comes back to what you can learn about her for yourself. While it is helpful to get a few tips from her friends, family, and acquaintances, too much of this type of fact-finding will make her feel more like a suspect in an investigation. So it's back to what you can find out for yourself. And the best possible way to do that is to get her in different settings and see what happens. What to Talk About on a Date I'm sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you. Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language. Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you're thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation. Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker. Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date: "What do you love to do in your spare time?" "What do you particularly enjoy about that?" "If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?" By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you. Where to Go on Your First Date That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let's cover where NOT to go on a first date. The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening. Also, don't take your date to your parent's house! She will know right away that you are a mama's boy and you will never see her again. Don't take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you. Now, some good first date ideas are: Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn't go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better. Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you're there is some good chemistry happening: If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn't matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There're so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun. Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea. How to Flirt Effectively Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn't work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open. After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don't expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away -- look back again later to show your interest. If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date. Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don't show it. When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There's nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely. Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to 'touchy feely' encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat. Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best. How to be Romantic What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliche. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments. The key factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady's likes ahead of your own. Creating romantic moments is so easy it's a wonder every man in the world doesn't "get" this. All you have to do is think of an activity built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on. It's all about doing something she likes with her. What will make such activities seem even more romantic to her is if you choose to do something she likes to do with her when a ball game is on TV that you could be watching with your buddies. She will feel chosen: and that, sir, is VERY romantic indeed. It doesn't matter which activity to choose to participate in with the woman that you want to think of you as romantic. The trick is for you to be totally involved mentally in the activity and not staring off into space or obviously just wishing it were over so you could go do what you really want to do. Remember this is you trying to be romantic so concentrate on the project at hand. It really is so very easy to create romantic moments. With only a little thinking and planning, romantic moments can happen every day and at the most unexpected moments. Being romantic is a win/win situation. There is no reason not to make romantic moments happen at every opportunity. Places to Meet Women to Date Meeting women that you would actually want to date and, maybe eventually, bring home to meet mom and dad, isn't as hard as it sounds. There is, of course, the singles scene out in the bars and clubs all over town but I don't recommend that one. It's not that just bad girls go to bars; it's that it is hard to tell the good ones from the bad one. You meet women at work, too, but, there again, I don't recommend dating them. The problem with that is that, if things don't work out, you will still have to work together and the situation could be awkward to say the least. Your friends know women that you haven't met -- sisters, cousins, etc. Ask them to introduce you to them. But, big brother, do avoid blind dates. Those things hardly ever work out and you can spend a lot of money for a very uncomfortable evening. The best places to meet women that you might actually want to date are at clubs and organizations that you belong to. You will already have something in common with them and will have had the opportunity to see them interact with other people and that tells you a lot about a person. If you aren't already involved with any clubs or organizations the, for heaven sakes, join some. Find ones that are all about something you are interested in. There are clubs and organizations that cover just about anything you can think of from astronomy to zoology and single women are involved in all of them. Church is an excellent place to meet women. If there aren't any single women in the church you go to now, visit other churches until you find one where there are single women. The church itself will provide you with an opportunity to get to know the woman before you ask her for a date. You will be a lot more comfortable and so will she. Get involved in civic organizations. Women love men who are civic minded. They admire men who are willing to "give back". And what about political campaigns? You will meet a lot of young women who are passionate about politics. If all else fails, join a good online dating service. You will meet a lot of eligible women. You can read their profiles and see pictures of them. After you get to know one well enough to ask her for a face-to-face meeting, be sure that you plan the meeting during daylight hours and in a public place. Waiting to Meet Ms. Perfect? It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that's the reason Ms. Perfect hasn't appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world? BINGO! You've got it. She doesn't exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens. The truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn't appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn't exist! You can't date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You'll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven't met the person of your dreams because you aren't looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you. You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these? Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults: some are bigger faults than other faults. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn't overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet. When you meet a woman, remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it's far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman.
InfoBank Intro | Main Page | Usenet Forums | Search The RockSite/The Web