What is a divorce? Sometimes married couples do not get along and find that they are never going to make the marriage work. That is when a divorce comes into mind. A divorce is a legal action between married people to terminate their marriage relationship. It is a hard time for all that is involved. There is something that is called a no fault divorce. This means that the court does not get in to why the couple wants to be divorced. It used to be that the person starting the divorce had to prove certain reasons for getting divorced. Some of these reasons included adultery or abuse. This time was often difficult for the couple and even a little embarrassing. The questions of what parties had been doing are private and these topics come out in the courtroom. Now the law is different and it allows one of the parties to get a divorce if he or she states in court that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Usually the judge will not ask any other questions about the marriage and allow the divorce to move on. In some divorces, however, they can get messy and there are many emotions brought out in court. This is a hard time to deal with and many people go through very depressing times. In some of the instances, one party does not want the divorce and they will fight it with all that they have. This will make the situation harder on both parties. Some court systems will want to make sure that the couple is doing the right thing. They will in some cases order the couple to seek counseling. This is usually only for the couples that there is hope for. This is not for everyone and it is important to do only if one or both of the parties involved thinks that there is a chance for reconciliation. People often times give up on their marriage too quickly. In some cases, they never really give the other person or the marriage a chance. There are hard times in all marriages and some people decide to try and work it out, while others tend to just want to give it all up as fast as they can. It is always best to do what makes both parties happy and able to move on and get back to living the rest of their life. Going through a divorce will be one of the toughest things a person can live through. What is a fault divorce? There are many reasons for a divorce, and it may be the last choice made by many. In some cases, it can be a decision that is hard for both parties to agree on. They have tried all that they can but they cannot seem to make the marriage work. For this reason it is called a no fault divorce in the courtroom. For other divorces where one or both of the parties have done something to cause the need for divorce, it is referred to as a fault divorce. A fault divorce may be granted when the proper grounds are there and at least one spouse asks that the divorce be granted on the grounds of fault. Not all states allow fault divorces. There are traditional reasons for fault divorces. Some of them include the following. Cruelty to one of the spouses is another cause. This is when one spouse will inflict unnecessary emotional or physical pain on the other spouse. This is the most usual cause for divorce. Adultery is another. This is when one of the spouses has an affair on the other spouse. This is another very popular reason why people end up getting divorced with a fault decision. Desertion can also be determined as a fault divorce. This is when one party leaves the other for a certain length of time. This usually means that one spouse moves out of the home and lives independently or with another person. They will leave the other spouse to live on their own and not want to be with that person anymore. If a person is confined to prison for a certain number of years, this can mean grounds for divorce by the spouse that is free. They can determine that they want to end the marriage and start the necessary divorce proceedings. Another reason may be if one party has an inability to engage in sexual intercourse, as long as it was not disclosed before the marriage took place. The reason to choose a fault divorce is because some people do not want to wait. They do not want to have a separation required by their state's law for fault divorce. In some states, a spouse who proves the other person is at fault, this may end up getting them a greater share of the marital property or more alimony. This is why the fault divorce is so popular these days. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- your friends can help When you are going through a divorce, you will want to start rebuilding your life. You want to make this new life of yours work as well as you can. There are no guarantees in life so you want to make sure that you are able to get the support that you want and need from those that are around you. This support will come from those of your friends and family members. You will want to make sure that you are looking towards the friends that are always there for you. You want to make sure that you are getting the support and love that you need in order to make the most of your life and what the future will hold for you. The friends that you keep after your divorce are important. You want to make sure that you are keeping your ties open with those people that have been there with you through thick and thin. There are going to be some of your friends that are not going to hang around. They may be closer with your spouse and keep their friendships with them. There are no simple ways to look at divorce. You want to make sure that you are keeping good contact with those that you want to and make sure that you are able to find ways to lean on the friends that you know you can trust. You have to be a little bit assertive and make sure that your friends are sincere. This is the only true way that you can be sure who you can count on and who cannot. The main thing that you have to do when you trying to keep your friends through a divorce are is honest. You want to make sure that you are keeping your friends close to you so that you can have a safe and secure feeling. You will want to make sure that the friends that you do keep in contact with are true and honest. You do not want to keep friends around that are going to make life difficult for you. You do not want any friends around you that may act as spies for the opposing team. This is a hard act to catch and you may want to be up front with them if you are suspicious in any way at all. For some of the couples that are going through a divorce, they may find that they are able to keep in contact with friends that they both have had for years. This is a great situation to be in because you do not have to choose between what friends you can keep and those that you have to lose contact with. Many people have great relationships with their old friends even though they may have met through their ex spouse. Sometimes people are going to want to cause trouble in your relationships and stir up some conflict. When this happens, you need to make sure that you are aware of it and take the necessary steps to make the situation better. This will mean ending ties with those that you have been close to for a long time. It may be hard but you have to do what you need to in order to keep yourself happy and healthy. Friends can be a leaning support for you when you are going through a divorce. You will want to make sure that you are open with them and have someone that you can lean on as well as depend on throughout the entire situation. You will be doing something good for yourself emotionally and physically at the same time. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- your family will support you Anytime you find yourself in a bad situation, you can normally fall back on the support of your family. You can always rely on them to be there for you when you most need them. You may want to use his or her help if you are someone that is going through a divorce. This can be a very difficult time and you may need to find a way to get them to help you through it. There is nothing better than getting started on your new life after divorce. You will want to make sure that you are able to depend on some of your family members and get the help that you are expecting from them the most. You need to be sure that you are getting all the help and support that you can from anyone that you trust the most. Your true family will help you through the hard times. They will see you through anything that is making your life difficult. You should not have to worry about too much when you are in the company of family that will give you what you need to get you through this situation. You will want to make sure that your family knows and understands that you are serious about your divorce and that this is hard on you and your children if any. Once you have made it very clear that you need to have support and love from your family, you will want to make sure that they have your best intentions in mind. When you are sure that you can be guaranteed that your family will comfort you and that they really do have your best interests in mind, you will feel better and be able to open up to them a little more. This is something that is very crucial to the future that you will have. Most of the time we can count on our family members to help us through rough patches in our life. This will include things like a divorce. When we need to have some help with kids or even financial support, we can usually count on the help that we get from our parents and other close family members. They will usually go the distance to make life a little bit easier on you and your children if you have any. They will not want to see you suffer and they will go the distance to make your job a little easier. Sometimes your family is the only thing that you have in life to depend on. When you find yourself in a bad situation, you will want to lean on someone as much as you can. This will be your method of help and support for getting on with your life. You will want to be able to talk to someone when you need to about anything that goes on. You will also want to be able to confide in them and not have to worry about them telling your secrets. Your family is there for you no matter what. Their goal is to help you and comfort you in your time of need. There is no reason why you should be worried about your future when you have the love from them that is necessary for you to be happy. Make sure that you are making family time with them to keep in contact. You can all meet once a month for diner or a cup of coffee. This is a great way for you to spend some quality time with your loved ones and also get out of the house. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- your credit Divorce can be a very hard time in anyone's life. It can be something that is hard to deal with emotionally and financially at the same time. Sometimes it is even possible to go into financial ruin because of a credit problem once the entire divorce is over. You may have to find a way to rebuild your life and your credit at the same time. Credit is very important and you must make sure that you do what you need to in order to reestablish it and get it back on track. You want to make sure that you are a competitive consumer in the world today and that means that you need to have good credit. You will want to make sure that you are taking the right approach to rebuilding credit that is so very crucial to your financial well being. There are things that you need to take care of after a divorce and one of the most important to do is to cancel credit cards that are in both names. You do not want to have credit cards floating out there that are in both of your names. You want to make sure that you take care of the finances that are in your control. Once you do the canceling of credit cards that you do not need or want anymore, you can then focus on getting your own credit built. In order to rebuild your own personal credit, you will need to get smart. This will mean that you will have to make sure that you are getting credit cards with good interest rates and that are going to help you with your good credit. You will want to make sure that you are getting all the right information that you need to make good solid decisions when it comes to your credit cards and what is best for you. You may want to think about getting some counseling for your credit rebuilding. This may be a good idea because you will be able to find out the different ways that you can control your credit card debt a little more and you may find out great secrets that will help you make smarter decisions about what you do with your finances. You want to make sure that you are on a budget. This is very important. You need to have a good system planned out. You want to only have credit with credit card companies that have good interest rates and that are going to help you with your financial building. You want to make sure that you are not overspending on these limits. Only use what you plan to pay back as soon as possible. This is of course unless you find yourself in an emergency and you need some extra money for an unexpected emergency. Make sure that you are fixing your previous married credit history before you change your name back to your maiden name if you are a divorced woman. You want to fix these problems so that you are not taking down your new name and new way of life because of the poor choices that you have made in the past. You want to make sure that you are careful and think about the way that you are using your credit and find ways to control your spending so that you can get back to a debt free life. Take you're time and pay of the debts that you have one at a time. Concentrate on the higher interest card first. You want to take care of them and get them out of the way so that you are able to get control of your life and all the finances that are involved with it. You can be sure that if you take the safe approach and find ways to make your budget work, you will be able to get your life on track again and make a good difference in the way that you life your life and make your finances work. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- your children One of the most important things to think about when you are getting divorced is the child that is involved. You want to make sure that you are able to keep them out of the conflict if any between you and your ex. You want to make sure that they are getting the most attention from both of you that is possible. This will make them feel loved and wanted so that they do not feel as if this is their fault. You will want to make sure that you are taking the appropriate steps to keep your children out of the line of fire. You want to keep them safe from all of the problems that can occur during a divorce. You have to make sure that you are helping them through this difficult time and getting them any help that they may need to deal with these pressures. You will want to keep the lines of communication open with your children during a divorce. You want to make them aware that you are there for them at all times and you are going to make everything all right. You have to keep a strict eye on the children that are in the middle of a divorce and make sure that they are not having any bad feelings about this situation. You need to do a lot of reassuring so that they are not negatively affected by the divorce. If necessary you may have to seek counseling for your children. You may want to take them to talk to a professional and let them sort through any problems that they may be having because of the divorce that you are going through. They may feel rejected, at fault, sad, depressed, or guilty. No matter what type of feelings they are going through, they may need to talk to someone so that they are able to get help and feel better about what is going on around them. You are going to want to find out if they have any questions about what is happening to them. They may want to get some things out in the open and are just too afraid to ask them. This is the time to make it clear that they are allowed to feel how they want and to and that everything will be all right. This is going to comfort them and help them to get their fears out in the open. You may want to set the children down with you and your ex so that the children are going to be able to talk to both of you about what is going on. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is being honest and that the other parent is not telling the child anything that may be untrue or hurtful towards him or her. It is important to keep any negative remarks banned from the children's ears during divorce. You do not want to be saying anything bad about the other parent to the child. This will only make the child more confused and may even scare them. Make sure that the children are keeping a close relationship with both sides of the family as long as it is a healthy relationship. You want to make sure that anything that can stay the same does stay the same. You do not want to be making too many changes in the child's life. If you can, try and keep them in the same school or as close to their original surroundings as possible. You do not want to take everything away from them because this may be the only feeling of security that they have. You may want to try and share custody of the child so that the child is able to have both of their parents any time they need them. You do not want to make any divorce or custody battle ugly. This will only complicate things and make them harder. It is necessary to keep things simple for the children. You will not want to make any child feel uncomfortable in the situation of divorce. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- write a journal Sometimes things happen and we are not very sure how to deal with them. One of these things may be that we are going through a personal problem like a divorce. This is a time when there are so many emotions going on and you are not sure what is going on in some cases. There are many feelings that you may be hiding deep inside and you are looking for a way to release them. When this is the problem, you may want to consider writing a journal to take care of the issues. You can build a new life for yourself if you are able to write down your feelings and things that you would normally keep to yourself. These things will include the daily reminders that you have to endure and how they make you feel. You may want to include what you are going to do in order to make these reminders seem a little bit easier to cope with. You will be surprised at how writing it down on paper can help the situation a little more. A journal is also something that you can use to comfort your feelings when you are ashamed to do so any other way. You may want to make sure that you are including everything that has happened since your divorce started. You can make sure that you are keeping track of the daily things that make you sad or things that you do to make yourself feel better. As you are writing you will see that your true emotions are coming out and that you are finally able to make some head way on rebuilding your life for the better. You can write in your journal anytime that you want and make the most of it. You will find that when you are expressing your feelings on paper you will be more able to find out how you are really feeling. You will be able to look back on your journal and see what you are going through and how you are coping with the changes that are being made in your life. When you are writing a journal it is important to be honest. You do not want to write anything that is not true. After all this is something that you are using to let your true feelings come out. This is a way for you to express who you are and what your intentions are. You want to make sure that you are keeping this journal in a safe place so that no one else will be able to get your private thoughts. You do not want others to know how your personal feelings are affecting you in some circumstances. A journal can help to make you feel more confident in the way that you are feeling. You will want to make sure that you are using this journal to make your divorce go better. You will be able to look back on your journal and see how much you have improved over time. When you are continuing to write in the journal all the time and every time you want to express a certain feeling. You will be able to see the progress that you have made so that you can see how much better off you are now that the divorce is over with. You will see the beginning and everything in between on your wild and amazing journey that you have been taking. You can make a journal for anything that you want and it is a good method of counseling for anyone that is going through something in his or her life that is difficult. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- the credit cards to cancel When you are going through a divorce it can be a difficult time. This is a time that will be emotional and also frustrating as well. You need to make sure that you are doing what you need to be doing to protect yourself. This is going to mean that you have to take a stand and make some very important decisions. You need to make sure that you are doing what you need to do so that you are staying ahead of the game. There are certain things that you need to do first when you are getting divorced. You have to go through your finances to make sure that you are secure. You and your soon to be ex need to sit down and decide what you have to do in order to make this time go as easy as you can. If you do not get along with your ex partner, you will want to try and figure out a way to get safe when it comes to your credit and all of the credit cards that you have. Most people have a credit card or even more than one. Some of the cards that people have are in their own name and some are in both their name and their spouse's name. This is dangerous when it comes time to a divorce. When the situation is heading for divorce, you may want to make sure that you are canceling some of the cards that you are not going to need anymore. You will also want to make sure that you are canceling the cards that are in both you and your ex's name. This will protect you more than you think. When you have credit cards that are in both names, you have to make sure that you are calling the company and ending your service with them. You may end the cards that you have with that company and get new ones issued to you from a new account that is only in your name. This means that you are terminating all of the privileges that your ex would have had to the cards. This will be your way of taking charge and keeping your credit in good standing. When you are looking for ways to figure out what cards are best to keep and what cards are going to need to be cancelled, you may want to sit down and figure out what your interest rates are on them. You will only want to keep the cards that are in your name only and that have a smart interest rate attached to them. You will not want to have to pay a lot in interest that is added on to your account. This is the main reason why it is so important to make sure that you have a card that has low interest because this will make your payments lower as well. You should be thinking about what is best for you and your credit. If you are not sure how to handle something, you can seek the help from a professional. You can get counseling for your credit after a divorce so that you are getting the facts that you need to get your finances in order and to protect your good name. There are only a few things that you can have in life and one of them is your good reputation. This is something that you own outright and you do not want to take any risks in messing it up. Any cards that you do not use or has your ex partner's name on them need to be cancelled at once when you are going through a divorce. This is the only way that you can keep your credit where you want it to be and avoid any unexpected charges being added on. You need to be in control and find ways to rebuild your credit and keep it up. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- the church Divorce is sometimes looked down upon for many religions. There are plenty of people that think you are a bad person because you are not getting a long with your spouse and you may be considering divorce. For these people, they may find it hard to make the decision to get divorced and stay in a relationship that is not healthy for them. This is something that many people may want to seriously think about before they decide to go on through life not being happy. It is important to make sure that you are doing everything possible in life so that you can have a happy and productive life. This will include things that happen to you in your personal life. You do not have to feel ashamed and unhappy for making life-changing decisions if they are going to benefit you in your health and happiness. You want to make sure that you are doing what you can to keep your own beliefs on track. Many times married people will stay together unhappily because of what the church has been preaching to them. However, there is nothing in the world that can make you love someone or want to be with him or her. You want to be able to make this type of decision on your own and if the time to end the relationship is there, then so be it. If you are going through a divorce and you are having a hard time with it emotionally because of your beliefs, you may want to take the opportunity to seek some type of counseling from your church. You can usually talk with your preacher or pastor and get some of the helpful information and support that you are looking for. You can use this type of counseling as a good method of self-help. You will be able to find out what you can do in this type of situation and how to figure out what is best for you. There are many church organizations that will help you through the difficult time of divorce. This is something that you may want to take interest in. you will feel more secure and at ease more when you have the right information at your disposal. You will want to use this type of information and go with it from there. You may only need to go to the counseling at your church one time. Some people may need to go to the counseling for a few different sessions so that they can get back on track and get what they need. This is a very helpful method of helping yourself feel better and know that there is still hope out there for you to live a happy life. You should not stop your faith and religion just because you are going through a divorce. You will find that once you loose your inner self, you will need your faith and love in your religion to get you through it. This is a very important time and you must not loose sight of the fact that your religion is going to guide you and help you with gain control of your life so that you can move on and do the things that you love the most. Never stop practicing your true religion no matter what. Most of the time you will find that you can get support and help from the people of your church and you should be able to lean on your preacher or pastor and get the help you need to make it through these hard times. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- stay away from romance movies Rebuilding your life after a divorce is not always easy. You will find that many things will come up and make it difficult for you to get through them. You will want to make sure that you are making the right decisions so that you are able to make the best of your new life that has been changed so dramatically. Getting the things in life that you want in life is not always, what you get. You may have to do some things in order to make them happen. We all do not have the life that we want all of the time. Sometimes we make mistakes and we have to deal with them. The same will go for marriages. Some work out while others do not. There are many people that go through a divorce and they will have to make the changes in their life that get them through their hard times. You should avoid some things when you are going through a divorce. You will defiantly want to stay away from romance movies. You have to be willing to stay out of any movie theater or renting any video that has any type of romance in it. You will only be making your situation worse and you will have problems that are more emotional if you do this to yourself. You do not want to make this mistake because it can make your healing process much worse than what it already is. You will want to watch movies that are upbeat and positive. You need to find things in life that are going to make you feel good about yourself and how you deal with your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are getting out the house as much as you can. It would be a great idea to go out with friends or with you to a movie theater. You can catch a new flick or a classic comedy from time to time and help you with your outlook on life. The best types of movies to watch when you are going through a divorce are comedies or about people that have gone through much worse and ended on top. You want to see success stories so that you are able to keep the feeling that everything is going to be good again and that are going to get better. It is amazing how a movie can make you feel good about yourself and the situation that you are in. If you are renting movies for you to watch at home, you will want to keep them light and upbeat. Make sure that you are watching movies that make you laugh. Invite some of your best friends over and make a big bowl of popcorn. This is a great way to spend an evening so that you can feel good about yourself. You will want to be able to sit back and relax while watching a movie that will keep you positive and feeling good about yourself. You can rebuild your life when you are able to keep a good way of thinking. You do not want to have any contact with movies that are depressing in any way or sad. You want to stay focused on the good things in life and what is out there waiting for you. When you are sure of yourself and what you are going to do to make the situation better, you will be able to come out on top. You will have a better chance at making the future better and brighter for you after a divorce if you keep those comedies coming and throw the romance movies out! Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- start exercising One of the best ways that you can make yourself feel better physically and emotionally is to start getting active. This is true for anyone and especially for someone that is going through a life changing experience. This can include anyone that is having a hard time going through a divorce. When you are emotionally drained and depressed, you will start to feel the affects that it can have on your body. You need to keep a positive outlook on life and to do that you will have to make sure that you are keeping yourself healthy and fit as well so that you can find a way to make the most of your future and get started on your brand new beginning in life. You can do many different exercises to get your life moving. You will want to make sure that you are physically healthy enough so that you can start an exercising routine. You can do many different things. You may want to try and do something that is outside of the house if you are tired of being stuck inside all day long. You may want to do a few different things so that you can get in shape. You may decide to join a gym if you are looking to get in shape. You can join a healthy club or a spa to get some of the exercise that you are looking for. Most of the time these places will have different machines and all types of exercising equipment for you to try. You can use these resources as much as you would like so that you can get started rebuilding your life by exercising. Another way to get out of the house and get some exercise is to start running or walking. You can do this in your free time. It may be in the morning or the evening that you like to get this accomplished. Either way, as long as you are getting your body in motion and moving about, you will start to feel better and more excited about getting on with your new life. Exercising is anything that keeps your body moving and in motion. You want to make sure that you are doing the exercises that make you feel good about who you are and what you are doing. You want to keep in mind that you are trying to make a new life for yourself and with the right exercise, you can feel great and may even start changing the way that you look as well. You can drop pounds and make your body look lean and more in shape so that your mental state will be better off. You can exercise with a friend to make it more fun and to give you the extra support that you may be needing to get on the right track. You can start to feel better and get your life back on the right path after your divorce. You will not want to sit on the side lines anymore and get back into the swing of life. You want to do these great exercises so that you can get out of the rut that you are in. You should not be afraid of a little bit of hard work and determination. With the right exercise plan, you can transform your body into a new person. You will feel better and this will make you more open to ideas and ready and willing to have more fun in your new life that is waiting for you. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- don't avoid the holidays Divorce is something that no one wants to do; however in some cases it is inevitable. This is something that sometimes has to happen so that a person can be happen and feel good about whom they are so that they can start living again. It is important for the two people that are going through the divorce to stay active with friends and family members and to not let it get them down. The first holiday after your divorce can be the worst. This can be the most uncomfortable situation that you could ever be in. There are some things that you can do to help the holiday go a little bit better and may even help it to be a little easier to deal with the fact that things are no longer the same and that you will have to accept that fact. No matter what holiday it is, you are going to see that things are different. You will not be the same team that you always were in the past and now you have to find a way to move on and have a great holiday regardless of this fact. You will want to make the experience as easy as you can on everyone including your friends, family and children if you have any. You may want to consider changing a few things for your next holiday after the divorce. You may have to come with the determination that traditions must change and that you can get through them. You may have to work out arrangements for the children if any and make sure that they are taken care of at this difficult time. You want them to have the best holiday that they can even if it means that you must sacrifice some things. You may want to find something else to do for your traditions on the holidays. You want to make them fun and entertaining as well as enjoyable and less painful for you and anyone else that is involved in the family function. You also need to make sure that you are taking time out for yourself. You need to keep your thoughts good so that you can stay focused on making this first year the best that you can for everyone. You want to make sure that you have your own down time. If you feel like being sad or crying, you should be able to do that alone. You may need a few minutes of each day to get yourself composed and feeling better about the entire situation. You need to make sure that your mind is free from any distress when it comes time for the family gathering. You may want to use some humor for the situation. You need to find the fun side in everything and this will include holidays after your divorce. You need to find ways to laugh even if they are stupid and childish. You want to keep a positive attitude for not only yourself, but also anyone else that may be affected. Another good idea is to look ahead. You want to stay focused on the future. Remember the first holiday is the worst and things will only get better as time passes and you are able to accept the way that things are a little better. In time you will feel more relaxed and you will not remember this first holiday that made you so upset. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- counseling Going through a divorce can be a hard time to go through. It may be difficult to find the right road and get back on track to a normal and healthy life. Sometimes people find that they are going through a messy divorce and it is hard for them to cope with the things that are gong on around them. When this is the case, it may be necessary for them to seek some form of counseling so that they can feel better emotionally and physically. Taking the time to get better after a divorce is crucial. You have to be willing to make the most of your life and if that means that you need to seek the treatment from a professional, then that is what you have to do. You should not feel ashamed or embarrassed for this reason. You will want to make sure that you are getting the stability in life that you deserve so that you can find a way to make it through this somewhat difficult time in your life. There are no guarantees that when you get married you will have a happy life. You are promised the world and sometimes you end up loosing some of it in the process. You can wind up sad and alone if your marriage does not make it. The divorce may or may not be your fault but either way; you need to find the inner strength to make it past the hard times. Many people will find it hard to make it through all of the situations that come with divorce. They may find it hard to be around old friends, family members and even dealing with work can be a chore. You may not be able to find the ability to take on the challenges that you were once able to take care of no matter what. When this is something that you have to deal with, you may want to find a counselor to get you through the hard spots. You may be able to get some valuable information that will help you with your ordeal. You can find many of the counselors in your area to help you with your problems. You may find that you can get a counselor through your church or local community organizations. A lot of times there are community workshops that are available for you to participate in so that you can get the help and the satisfaction that you need from a good source of support. The team effort of support that you get from your family and friends will be a big help too. If you have some people to help you through the difficult times, you should take advantage of the support and love that they are willing to give you. This can be a huge help to you when you are going through this huge change in your life. You will have to learn to accept help where it is needed and be grateful for the angels in your life that are there to help you through it. There is no reason to turn down counseling when it is offered to you. If you are in need of support, you should take it and be grateful for it. There are many people that are going through the same troubles and like everything, this time will eventually pass and everything will return to normal. You will not have anything to worry about when you know that you are supported and helped with the effort of a great method of counseling. You deserve to feel good again and this may be the one thing to help you. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- the bills you need to think about Getting divorced means that you will have a lot of lose ends to tie up. You will want to make sure that you are ready and willing to make all of the appropriate arrangements that you have to so that you can get started with your new life. You want to make sure that you are getting on with rebuilding your life and making your own life better and happier as well. You want to have all of your bills in order when you are going through a divorce. You need to make sure that you are thinking about all the bills that you have and that you are keeping them straight. It is important to have these bills paid so that you can keep your credit and good name after the divorce. You do not want to start out your new life with bad credit because this will only make things more difficult later on. You will want to think about the bills that you have together with your ex. These bills have to be arranged for payment. You need to figure out how you are going to handle them so that you are getting them sorted out before you go your separate ways. Sometimes these bills are sorted through before the attorney and the judge settle the divorce. Getting through a lot of the hassle of figuring out the bills is something that you have to do. You must make sure that you are protecting yourself so that you are able to be financially ready to take on the role of supporting yourself and making your new life better. This is something that you must do for your own protection. You are on your own now and need to watch out for yourself. There will be other issues to think about like the house payment and the car payments. You will want to discuss this with your ex partner so that you can get these things figured out and settled for when the divorce takes place. Other payments will include things like the car insurance, health insurance, life insurance and any 401K plans that you may have in place. This is something that you must be thinking about when you are going through the life changing experience of divorce. Of course the one thing that you must think about is what you can now afford and what you cannot. You need to think about the things that you can take on and what you are gong to have to have to make ends meet once you are divorced. There are many issues that you to have to address so that you are able to survive on the income that you have coming in. If you have to make sacrifices for a little while then that is what you have to do. You may also have to pay your attorney fees. Some times when you are in a divorce you may find it to be necessary to hire an attorney. This is the best way for some couples to get their point across a little bit easier. You will want to start make payments as soon as possible. This will allow you more time to get your debt paid off so that you are free and clear of any bills from your divorce. Your bills are going to accumulate and you want to be aware that you can get into debt fast when you are someone that has gone through a divorce. You will want to make sure that you are careful so that you are not putting more strain on your finances that what you need to have. This is all part of rebuilding your life once you are divorced and improving your entire life and well-being. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- all about the utilities When you are going through a divorce, there are a lot of preparations you have to do. You will want to make sure that you are hitting on all of the things that you need to so that you are not missing anything. You will want to make a list of the items that you have to do so that you can have it done and ready with no problems. This will help you in the rebuilding of your new life after divorce. You will find that you will have to start over to put it plainly when you are divorced. You will have to start out on your own again and learn how to do things on your own. You will have to take care of your home and all the things that go along with having your own home. It is a very long process but one that will make you feels good when you have it all accomplished. There are many utilities that you will have to get put into your name once you are divorced. You will have to make sure that you are starting your own form of credit so that you are established and ready to have these things put into your name. Sometimes utility companies will not issue you credit with out you first having some sort of credit already established. You will have to figure out the best way to do this. You will want to make sure that you are separating all of the accounts that were once in both names. You need to do this as soon as possible to avoid any type of complication later on down the road. You need to then start building up your credit so that you can start your own good name going. Having utilities is a big and important step to rebuilding your life and getting back on track. The main companies that you need to make sure you call are the electric, water, garbage, phone and car insurance companies. You will want to make sure that you are contacting these agencies at once. This is going to make it easier for you to get things started soon and a lot easier. This is a great start to getting your own name rebuilt so that you are happy and able to enjoy life to the fullest. The one thing that you need to also be making sure that the past balances are paid off. You may have to do this first before you decide to switch them into your name if you are staying in the same location where you and your spouse lived. This is going to be important because if you have bills from when the other person lived at the location, you may be entitled a reimbursement for this money. You will have to discuss this with your attorney and spouse and see how it all works out. When you are making the switch for all of the utilities you will want to make sure that you are paying the bills on time. This will be better for you when it comes time to get credit for other things. You will want to make sure that you are on time and paying the balance off as much as you can. This will help you get your life rebuilt and back on the right track where you belong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better for yourself and with the right help and a little determination you can do it. You will see that you will have a better life and be happier once you get out there on your own and surviving! Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- about the house in your name Usually in a divorce, the couple that is divorcing needs to make the decision about who is going to keep the house. They need to work this out on their own or make sure that the courts address it. You have to make the decision about what will be done with the property. There are many different options and it is important to make sure that the decision is best for everyone involved. In a divorce it is usually determined what is going to be done with the house. You can either sell it and split the profits between the two people that are getting divorced if they own it, one person can offer to let the other one have it, or the other party will buy out the ex spouse. It will depend on how the divorce is settled to determine this decision. It is always better when things are worked out easily, but sometimes this is not possible and the couple will have to seek the help from an attorney or court system. If you are the one that is ready to take on the challenge of keeping the home, you will want to make sure of a few things first. You will want to be certain that you can take on the mortgage payments. You will have to decide if this is a payment that you can afford each month. You must make sure that you have thought about your income now that you are divorced and what you will be able to afford. You will also want to think about the fact if you really do want the house or not. You have to want the house because it is where you want to stay and not just be the winner of the house to spite the other person. You have to get through these feelings and then determine if this is where you want to stay and rebuild your life after the divorce. Sometimes it is better for the couples to decide if they should sell the house or not. It is important to think about the financial security that you have in time and think about what you can afford to loose and gain in the situation. Do you really want to start your new life over in a house that you once shared with your ex? Is this the house that you grew up in and want to keep it for sentimental value, or do you want to make sure that your children are raised in the home that they know and love? These are a few of things that sometimes people need to think about and have the right answers for when it comes time to decide what to do with the house. If you are the one to be leaving the house after a divorce, you will want to see how it will affect your credit. If your name is on the mortgage to the house, and your ex spouse does not pay, you will be responsible for the loan and your credit may suffer because of it. The lender wants their money no matter if you are living in the home or not. If you own money on the home it may also make it hard for you to go out and purchase your own home later on because of the outstanding balance on this one. It will be important for you to either make arrangements with the ex that they are going to be faithful in paying the mortgage or have this documented in the divorce or you may just want to have them get your name off of the mortgage. This may require them to refinance the home in their name only so that you are not longer financially linked to the home. This is something that you will have to think about and make sure that you have everything set before the divorce is final. You want to protect yourself as well as keep things settled and peaceful with your ex. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- your credit Your life is not over when you are going through a divorce. You are in for the ride of your life. You will have a bumpy road ahead, but you have to make sure that you are able to take on this challenge head on. You need to make sure that you are ready for the world that is ahead of you and what you need to. You will need to think about more than just the emotional support that you need when you are going through a divorce. You need to worry about your finances. You will want to have a great credit standing so that you are ready to go on with you life on your own. You need to make wise choices for your finances and to keep your life together and on track. You will want to start with your credit cards and find out how to keep them in control. You want to make sure that you are canceling your credit cards that are in both you and your ex partner's name. You want to make sure that you are terminating them first so that you are not going to have any battles over charges. You will then want to make sure that you are getting rid of the credit cards that are not good for you. This will include any of the cards that have a high interest rate or that have annual fees added to them. You do not want to be paying high interest on a credit card that you may or may not need for a big purchase at some point. You will want to make sure that you are finding ways to lower your interest rates on your credit cards that you do keep. You can do this sometimes by simply asking the card companies to do it. Sometimes if you are a good customer they will help you with your interest rate and give you a break. You may want to think very carefully before you decide to use your credit cards on some of the items that you purchase. You need to make sure that you are in need of this purchase before you decide to make the transaction. You will need to contact all of your creditors and make sure that you are informing them that you are divorced and that you are not going to want your ex to have access to your accounts. In some of the cases, you may have to close your current accounts that you both have. Sometimes they may have to arrange for you to have a new account set up so that your information is the only thing on the account. This will help you keep track of your credit so that you are not going to be responsible for any purchases if any that are not by you. You will need to start building new credit for yourself. You may want to think about how you are going to do this. You want to make sure that you are making the right choices so that you are able to keep your credit in good standing and make a new path for you to go on. You want to try and find a way to pay off your old credit cards and loan amounts so that you are starting with a fresh and clean slate. Another good idea is to open up a bank account or savings account so that you can get on your way to saving money for yourself that you will need later on. You will want to make sure that you are able to put a little bit of money away each week or month so that you can start building up your good name. This will be a huge help for you later on when you may try to open up accounts for credit cards or for bigger purchases like a home, car, or to get any type of loan for any reason. You will see how this will also help you build a stronger financial security net for yourself as well. You will want to try and keep on track as much as you can. Avoid buying anything that you do not need and keep your spending to a minimum. Once you have achieved your goal of building up your credit and getting back on the right track, you will see that you can start your way to a better and more secure financial future. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life, color your hair and move on Did you know that when you go through a life changing experience you are likely to go to the beauty salon before you do anything? Most women will actually seek a different hair style when something major happens in their life. You will want to quickly seek comfort for your divorce and then you have to stand on your own. You may want to go to the hair salon once you have made the announcement of the split and have faced the situation. Once you have recognized that you are going through a divorce you will need all the people who love you around so that you are able to get all the support that you need to help rebuild your life and move on. The first step is to know who you can count on and who can't. This is when your real friends became noticeable. You need to have people who care to support your grieving and to help you find ways to move on. Most of your so-called friend will say everything will be fun, don't worry. When someone allows your feelings to be written off like that, they are not your friends at all. You will want to make sure that you understand the difference between real friends and people who claim to be your friend. Once you have found the support and strength to move on, you will feel the need to make some drastic changes. You may want to change the color of your hair or you may just want to change your wardrobe or encourage a change in behavior. You should try things that you never would have gotten to do with your soon to be ex. You should also think about making changes about your appearance that they wouldn't necessarily encourage from you. You will want to do things like change your hair color, change your style of hair, or get an extreme haircut. If you have never had short hair, you may want to try it. When you cut or when you dye your hair you will find empowerment. You will feel like you have control over yourself and your life. The truth of the matter is that you do have all the control. You have the right to change and you have the right to do whatever it is that you want or find that makes you happy. Before you allow yourself to fall in depression, you may want to start thinking about what has happen, what has changes, and what you would like to do as a result of. Obviously, there were many factors that made you and your partner to split, but you don't have to be someone that you aren't. Over the years or course of your marriage, you probably gave up a lot. You most likely changed because they encourages you to become exactly what they wanted, but you are no longer in that relationship and you can begin to do the things that you love once again. Any woman that can go through a divorce and survive it is a very strong person. Some women will collapse and fall into a deep depression. Go out and do everything for yourself. If you have always wanted to be a blonde, give it a shot. If you have ever wanted to cut your hair, go for it. Once you begin to do things that you normally wouldn't do you will find liberation. You will have liberation from all the chains of marriage. You will have the freedom to be yourself and show your new freedom in anyway that you would like. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- moving on and the in-laws Getting divorced is hard any most people that have to go through it. It is a time that is considered very sensitive for most. This is not something that many people look forward to and in fact it can be something that is very disruptive to their lives. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with the in laws. When you are dealing with the divorce and all the family members that you are now going to be divided from, you will have to take a well thought out approach to it. You may or may not be having a good relationship with them. It is hard to figure out what you are able to do and what is right. You need to dig down deep inside yourself and figure out what type of person you are going to be. If your in laws have never done anything wrong to you, you owe them respect. You do not need to sever your ties with them just because you and your ex do not get along anymore. In fact, many people still see their in laws on a regular basis because of children that are involved or just because they have a special relationship with them. You do not have to make this time a difficult one and in fact it can be good for everyone involved. You should make sure that you are communicating with your in laws right from the start. If you have a good relationship make sure that you are expressing your love towards them. You want to them to know that you still value their love and you still want to be part of their lives. You need to make them aware that you have no intentions on ending the relationship with them just because you and your ex cannot stay married. If you are someone that has a rough and rocky relationship with your in laws it may be better to end the relationship at least to some degree. You may still have to see them from time to time especially if you have children that they need to keep in contact with, but you do not have to make the visits long or get too involved with the meetings. You can simply consider them acquaintances and you will not have to waste your time trying to be nice to someone that you do not like. You will see when you are in the middle of a divorce that most of the time the other person's family is on their side. However, in some cases, you may not have to worry about this problem. You may be able to have a fair and calm divorce and this will allow everyone to remain friends. This is something that is defiantly a good thing when it is achieved and it is something that will make both families a little more at ease for all types of family functions. You need to keep your best interest at heart and the interest of your children as well. If you do have children and you are getting divorced, you need to make sure that you are not taking them from their grandparents and extended family. They did nothing wrong and do not deserve to be punished for any reason. However in some cases, it is no a good idea for the children to be around the in laws. You have to make sure that you know the facts and keep in mind what is best for everyone. You will see that when you do this and if you do make an effort, you will have less tension and live a more peaceful life. What parents need to avoid when getting a divorce When you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children. After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way. You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them. You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent. This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future. You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well. You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done. Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything. You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to. Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you're soon to ex spouse's residence any time that they want. You never want to distance yourself from your children. You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent. You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent. It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults. It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children's sake. Do not try and buy the child's affection with gifts and money. You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now. You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there. If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run. It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce. It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them. What is a legal separation in divorce? When a couple gets a legal separation, it is a lot like a divorce. It will involve the same process of filing papers with the court to start a legal action. The court will then have to make the decisions about where the children will live, debts, and assets in a divorce. At the end of the process, the parties are legally separated instead of being actually divorced. This means that they are still married but not responsible for each other and what the other party does. A legal separation is the best thing to do in the last stages of couples not getting along. It can be a way of taking a break and finding out what each party wants. There is no reason to rush into getting divorce for some people and it is a decision that has to be well thought out just as the marriage should have been. Sometimes when people are on a legal separation, they will try and work things out. However, there are some cases, where it will not work and the parties' involved want to get a divorce. One year after the legal separation is granted, one of the parties can petition to convert the separation to a divorce. They can do this without further hearings and the other party cannot prevent it from happening. People will sometimes prefer the separation instead of a divorce because of their religious beliefs or for insurance purposes. If the party then decides to get a divorce, it will terminate their marriage. In order to do that, parties involved will go to court and decide how to handle questions of the children and how to divide their marital property. Each party is going to be responsible for one half of the marital debts. Marital property is anything that the couple bought while they were married. It does not matter whose name the property is in or who actually purchased it. Bank accounts, pensions, and stocks are marital property even if they are held in one name only. Property brought into the marriage is still marital depending on the length of the marriage and what type of property it is. The court will be as fair as it can and sometimes the parties involved will make the right choices about being fair in the divorce. It is always a good thing when a couple can make the appropriate decisions about how things should be split up before actually going to court. Both parties should have attorneys and this will help things progress along without having to worry about any legalities. This is the best way to protect each party's assets and to make sure that the proceedings are fair. Divorce, turn to religion to get through it all A divorce is seen as a sin most religions. It's hard to fall back on religion went they persecute you, however, there are ways that you can use your faith to help you through something as difficult as a divorce. Faith is what grounds us. Faith is what says what's wrong and what's right. When your heart is broken, you can use your faith to give you strength to help you connect back to yourself. If you are going through a divorce right now, you may find your faith gone, but it is not. You are hurt, you are trying to cope with it the best you can. The first thing that you should keep in mind is what is known as the law of acceptance. With your faith you are able to accept everything that life throws at you. Things don't just happen. They happen because of a divine spirit that is guiding us through live. Some people believe that it is god's will. Other's argue that God's Will does not inflict pain. That's where predestination comes in. Everything that we do is because we have an intended destiny that was written upon birth. If you want to think about your divorce as a law of surrender. The law of surrender states that the minute you give in to your faith and reach out for God or Gods you will find that your faith will led you to have better opportunities and it will change your entire life. When you surrender your heart to god, he helps you back to your feet and will fix everything wrong in your life. Then there divine guidance. This type of faith is presented in a poem known as Footprints. During the poem a man finds that when times are good, then there are two sets of footprints. During the rough times, there is only one. The man asks God one day why leaves when times get hard. God speaks and says that when he only saw one set of footprints it was because God was carrying him. Divine guidance is when god does what you cannot. If you feel that you cannot live another day. God helps you through it. If you feel that you just can't go on any more because of your divorce, God will be there to give you strength as long as you believe in his power. God is so different for many people. However, to Christians, god is a spirit that oversees our lives and he gives us hope, love, and guidance. We are whom he created in hopes of making a better world, a world that once never existed. God is a merciful God. He does not punish those that repent. God allows you to be forgiven as long as you are truly forgiven. Many people will use this as karma. Karma is what leads us to god it is why we repent. Remember, what you dish out, you will get back third folds. When karma comes back, god is there to forgive you when you are ready. Now many people believe that a divorce is a sin against god that cannot be forgiven, however, it is not god that judges, but those around us. In the Bible, it says that you need to learn how to forgive your fellow man. When you forgive, you are able to open your heart up to the world and to god. God forgives because we are his creation and he wants everyone to find his or her happiness. Free will is seen as the evil in region, however, God gave everyone free will. Why? God wants everyone to choose him. Whatever you do, if you choose God, He will forgive you for your sins and he will help you through your divorce. This is the one thing that you can be guaranteed during a divorce. God is always with you, no matter what you do, He is there to give you the strength to go on. Should you have an attorney for a divorce? If you are thinking about a divorce or your spouse has already filed for a divorce, it is a good idea to get an attorney. This is something that you should do to protect yourself. You will have a lot of questions and you will defiantly need to have answers. You need to be made aware of all the possible outcomes and do what you need to in order to protect your future. There is always the option of representing yourself in a divorce proceeding. However, this is not always the recommendation. If there are serious questions involved like children or assets, it is better to have the assistance of an attorney. The attorney can represent only one of the parities involved. If you are not able to afford an attorney, the judge may seek assistance for you from your spouse. One reason to get an attorney for a divorce proceeding is because there may be spousal support involved. This is called alimony. Depending on the length of time you were married, the age and health of the parties involved, and the ability for one of the parties to earn income and maintain the marital standard of living, the court may order support paid by one spouse to another. This is different question from child support. Spousal support can be for a limited time period or for an indefinite period depending on the circumstances. It can be reviewed if there is a significant change in the circumstances of either the former spouse. If the spousal support question is waived, then the party giving up the support may not ever come back to ask the court to award it again. You may also want to have an attorney to protect pensions and retirement accounts. Pensions and retirement are marital property and it can be divided in a divorce. They can be given a present value based on the kind of pension and the parties' rights to receive an income from that pension. Usually the court system is fair in this decision, but an attorney will fight for your rights and make sure that your side of the fight is heard. If you are not happy with the attorney that you have hired, you should defiantly talk to them about it. Explain your case and make them understand why you are not happy with their work. If you cannot work out the situation with your attorney, you do have the right to find another attorney at any point in the game. Divorce, moving on and setting up a new house When it comes to the divorce, you may not get the house. In fact, neither of you may end up with the house, so you will need to learn how to move on and set up a new house for your comfort. Maybe you will look for an apartment, condo, or you may find yourself wanting to purchase a home. You will want to be sure that you know what you want in the divorce. You may want the house, but not fight for it and lose it. You may also want the house and get it, but then you realize you can't afford the place by yourself. You may end up single, with children, and no income or little income. It can be hard for you to move on and purchase a home. If you have a less painful divorce and still talk civilized to your ex, you may want to ask them to keep their name on the house. If you have a co-ownership, you will both own the house and you can both continue to pay the taxes and the mortgage. This is very rare, but there are some couples who that in sake of the children. The judge will also take that in mind when it come to the child support. However, it may just be best if you get a smaller house. With a new and smaller home, you can sell your other home, stay somewhere near the area, and still be able to avoid your home. It's like trading your car in, it will help pay for the next one. It can be easy to trade down. With the downgrade, you children may feel like they have just lost their security bubble, but if you tell them that you are going to try to make everything feel like home and ask them to give the move a shot, and then you can begin to make a new home for your family and friends to enjoy. The first step to making a new home is to try to make everything seem a little familiar. The children will appreciate the thought and effort. You will to match the color of their rooms and try to make their rooms like similar to the original. This way the kids will have a safe haven once again. If the kids are open to the divorce, then you may want to give them the change to decorate their room. When you decorate the rooms like they would like, they may have an easier time excepting the divorce and the kids will be fine. As for the rest of the house, you can decorate it the way you would like. If you would like to have certain colors in your home, then go for it. If your kids are older than you should involve them in the decorating process so that they feel more comfortable in their room. You can place the furniture anywhere in your home and you can do whatever you would like with the home and not have to worry about what your husband or wife would think because it doesn't matter. You will want to make sure that your kids are involved in the process of sitting up home so that they can get use to the house and being away from their original home and friends. If you have any children still in school, you don't want to move out of the school district because you don't want to uproot the kids. You will want to make the move as smooth as possible for the children. Rebuilding your self esteem, during divorce When the divorce process begins to move along, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. Yu need to learn how to rebuild your self-esteem so that you can move on successfully after the divorce. Moving on successfully means that you are okay not being married to them anymore. It may take months or even a year to get there, but it is a lot of work for some. Some people will take it really hard and the shock of the divorce can be devastating. You need to learn on how to focus on the positive things and learn how to appreciate what you got. You will feel a lot better about your life when you learn how to think positively. You should never beat yourself down. It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault, you may have just had a bad marriage, it's so hard to tell what a marriage will be like until a while after "I do". Don't think about the past, but focus on the future. You will want to replace any thoughts where you doubt yourself by stating something that you like about yourself and keep telling yourself that your okay and everything will be okay. You should learn to use positive words to describe yourself like smart, beautiful, ambitious, and so on. You image of yourself will effect your life a lot. To think positively you need to think things to encourage yourself. You should use self-esteem building activities like talking to yourself in a mirror. Tell your reflection how you feel about yourself in a positive way. You should make encouraging statements and you will actually begin to feel better by doing such things. The first step to rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You need to place the past in the past and begin to think about ways that you and improve the way you feel about yourself. The best way to let go of the past is to get dressed up and go to your favorite restaurant and eat alone. If you can go there by yourself and have dinner, then you know that you will be okay. You know that you can be okay with being alone. However, if you feel extremely uncomfortable, as yourself why and then tell yourself some encouraging statements so that you can feel better about the situation and accept being alone or single is just as fine. No one will stare at you, no one will notice you and at the end of the meal you will be much stronger. You should also let go of any goal of being perfect. This will allow you to adjust and you will lighten up about the entire situation. No one is perfect, but making yourself try to be will only make things worst. This is when you should tell yourself that you're not perfect, but your perfectly fine being who you are. If you must you may need to make changes you need to be able to stand on your own. You should decide what you need to do to find yourself again and then reach out. Your level of success and confidence will rise. You should also learn that you can not isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your closest buds will not let your self-esteem dissolve. They will help you through the divorce as well as many other things. Your friends and family should be the key to finding yourself and love after the divorce. You will find the courage to move on by finding comfort in your friends. How to rebuild your life keep your personal thoughts private A divorce is something that is usually thought of as private between a man and a woman. However there are things that can happen to make it more of an ordeal and many others may find out about it. You want to try and keep the proceedings as private as you can so that you are not going to be unconvinced at all by what is happening in your life. Your private life is usually just that, private. You do not want to make a big thing about your divorce and you will probably want it to stay as quiet as you can get it. The most important thing to remember about your divorce is that you are should be embarrassed. Many people go through this and it is a time that can be difficult for everyone involved. You need to make sure that you are keeping certain things private so that others do not know your business. You want to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to rebuild your life when you are going through a divorce. You want to keep your personal feelings to yourself as much as you can. However sometimes it is good to talk to someone else and get everything out in the open. You may have certain people that you can rely on and feel comfortable talking things over with. You will appreciate these people and have a high degree of trust for them as well. Some would include your family and very close friends. You will have these certain people that stick by you no matter what life throws your way. You do not want to make a lot of fuss over your personal thoughts when you are going through a divorce. You want to make sure that you are keeping as much to yourself as you can. You do not want others to know some of the details in your divorce and you certainly do not want them to know how you are really feeling about the other person. You want to get as much sympathy as you can without sounding too desperate and willing to give up too much information. You want to have the upper hand in the divorce so that you can feel better about yourself and the situation that you are going through. You want to try and focus on the future that you are going to be rebuilding and do not put so much attention on the past. You are going to want to make sure that you are putting all of your efforts into making your divorce as painless as you can and getting past the bad feelings. Sometimes it may be a relief to let out some of your frustrations and talk to others about your private life. However remember that anything you say can come back to haunt you and you do not want to take that chance. You have to watch out for the eyes and ears that are around to make things difficult for you during your divorce. Building on your future is important and something that many people take for granted. However when you are serious about getting a new start and making your life something that you can look forward to, you want to keep your personal and private feelings inside you. This is something for you to hold onto and to make the most of as you go along. You will feel better and be further ahead of the situation when you are careful about what you do and say around others about your divorce. Divorce, move on sexually Everyone has been hurt so badly that they swear off from dating forever. However, it just doesn't happen. Many women claim that they don't want another relation after the divorce because it will effect the children. It's okay to move on. In fact, many people expect their ex's to move on and have sex, as well as, meaningful relationships. The only thing that you need to be worried about when it comes to sexually relationships and divorce is that you should never get back with your ex. If this is a person who would hurt you so much and leave you, why would you ever go back just so they can get some. It's not helping you with the divorce and it's not helping the kids, if there are any. When you hook back up with an ex, it confuses people. Women think that they want to get back, and some times the sex is just sex. It doesn't mean anything. If you start seeing your ex again, you will find that the children will be just as confused. They may have false hope of you two getting back together. This can be devastating to the children. Next, when considering having sex again after a divorce you have to ask yourself why you want to. Do you just feel lonely, is it a hormone thing, or do you really care about them. If it is more than just loneliness or hormone and you truly care then you will be more inclined to talk about the sex before taking the leap. You want to make sure that this is not something that will cause you immediate hurt. Love has risks, but you want to make sure that you don't turn your back and find out that everything was a lie. You don't want to be taken advantage of. You need to make sure that you are not in the relationship to hide who you really are or to keep a safe distance from love. You do not want to be with someone who you don't care about so you know that your heart doesn't get broken. Another thing to keep in mind is that every man is different. You should not think about how they will hurt you because that's what the others did. If you make your present interest suffer because of what happened in past relationships you are condemning the relationship. It's okay to trust again and to love again. There are risks, but that's the thing about love. It's worth the risks. If you plan on engaging in sexual intercourse with another after a divorce, make sure that it is something that you want. Make sure that you can live with the decision and that you are responsible. Today, you need to take the proper precautions, not only with your feelings, but with your health. You need to make sure that you use protection from STD'S and pregnancy. When you move onto another relationship, erase the slate. Don't bring up your past a lot. Don't compare your actions with them to how you were with others. If things are right they will work out. Don't look at your life as a system. Love is one of the most mysterious feelings. It's hard to describe it, and it's hard to tell why things happen. You never know when you are going to fall in love and fall out of love. If you take things slow and let things take their own course, you will find that love will find you. You will be very happy. Don't let your divorce hold you back from having a good relationship. Divorce, move on emotionally Divorce is one of the major chances of life that you may be affected by. You may suddenly feel like your whole world is collapsing. You need to deal with certain issues like the money, the children, your personal changes, and how you can adapt to divorce. First, you have to realize that there is life after marriage. You can bring a new life and not be tied down a marriage that just can't work. You need to start the divorce process by admitting that it is truly happening to you. You need to get out of your denial stage and accept that things will be different. Don't expect your mate to come running back, because they have made their decision. Why should you let them come back if they are able to cause you so much pain? If someone can cause you that much pain then they aren't worth it. To get moving onto something better, you need to learn when grieving is acceptable and when it is not. Take your time grieving. There are many steps that you will have to go through to get to the point of acceptance. You will be shocked, then confused, then angry, and then so on. You should take months to lie in bed and contemplate where your life is going. You can spend a weekend in bed, and then on Monday get up and go to work and hold your head up high. You need to take just a little bit of time to examine your life and then you have to focus on your life and your children. You can't just stop being a mother; you have to focus on the children. You got to get things together or you will never be happy. You need to make sure that you are productive during your days. Once the divorce is final, you do what you need to do to be happy and focus on the things that matter in your life. Don't just give up. Once you have accepted your fate, you do not need to be so negative about it. You can be single at any age and still find true love or happiness. You need to take the negative things and then turn them into something positive. Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and future. Enjoy what you have and look forward towards the future. You should not hold grudges, because it will effect the children. You want to make sure that your children will be able to make a smooth adjustment. You will also want to forget about regret. You shouldn't regret your marriage because there were so many good memories that you had. If you had children as a result of the marriage, then you obviously wouldn't want to regret them. To start the moving on process you need to be a bigger person. Even if you want to yell and curse and be difficult, remember that you have children and ask yourself what they would think of you if they saw you acting like that. You need to be a role model for your children. You can't show them that you are upset, because they look at you as their guardian and protector. Once you have regained yourself you can then begin to plan your new life. You can purchase a new home, buy a new car, and rebuild a life that is completely what you want. You have complete control over everything. You have so much freedom and you should advantage of the freedom. Change your appearance, redecorate the house, do whatever it takes to find yourself. Divorce, rebuild your life, make new friends (how to find new friends) So you have just gone through a divorce and you now feel the need to find new friends. Maybe you just relocated to get away from your ex and all the people who take a role in your divorce, or maybe it is because you have lost all the "friends" in the divorce. Either way you know that there are dozens of new people that you can be friends with. If you still aren't in the mood to go out, but you still feel the need to reach out to someone, try the Internet. You don't have to go online looking for love or a new boyfriend/girlfriend. You can go online to find someone to talk to and become good friends. This person can be male or female and they can be there to talk to without judgments. The Internet is great too because it has false security. You can interrupt their words anyway that you would like. You don't have any body language to help you decode the messages and you can't hear their tone of voice. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. You can be whomever you want to. You may be depressed and embarrassed about your divorce, but to them you can be a single person who has never been married. You get to write your own story line to make yourself feel better about your situation. You can find comfort from this person much like a person that you've been friends with forever. If you want to reach out for serious friendship you may want to spend more time with friends and family. They can introduce you to some people who are in close proximity to you and you can begin a relationship with them. If you are looking for someone to be more than just partner for game night, you can also ask some of your friends if they can hook you up with someone who you might like. Although blind dates always seem so horrible, you will find that you may fall in love with a person who you met through a friend. Never judge a situation before you enter the picture because you never know what you may find in a person. If you believe that you need some new friends because you are so depressed, it may not be a friendship that you need, but some medical attention. If you believe that you are so depressed than you need to reach out and get some help so that you can be happier. Some people find that drugs, alcohol, or even involving themselves more at work is the solution to the depression. Just because you cannot think about how sad are you doesn't mean you aren't. When you start to self medicate or overwork yourself, you are only adding more fuel to the fire. It's not healthy. If you would like to reconnect with an old flame that you recently saw again, then you have no reason not to go for it. There is no reason why any one should feel that they couldn't ask another person on a date because they have just been divorced. Your divorced, your single, and you should go seek out dating opportunities, as well as other friendships. A friend is what keeps you young. Friends can help you get over your divorce, as well as, your depression. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life, listen to music often There are many things in life that comfort us when we are not feeling so great. We can do or find ways to make life seem a little bit happier and for some people, they depend on these things to get through the hard times. One type of hard time that a lot of people deal with is the fact that they are going through a divorce. This is a hard time for a lot of people. It is one that many people turn to music for comfort. Divorce is sometimes a depressing time in a person's life and they will find that many emotions go through their body. Sometimes people have a hard time figuring out a way to move past this hard time and get on with the things that are most important to them. Sometimes people will hide from the rest of the world and want to be left alone. They will use this time to think things over and make decisions about important things. One way for some people to think is to use music. A lot of people turn to the power of music to help them cope. Some like to listen to the sad songs or the ballads. These songs may have a meaning to them and help them feel like they are not alone in this type of situation. Other people may like to listen to rock music. This type of music may keep them feeling upbeat and happy. This can be a way for them to get past the hard times and move on with the good things that are ahead. Other people may find that gospel music is the way to beat the hard times of divorce. This type of music has soul and purpose and may be the one thing that can help a person find their way and get back to their once happy life. This type of music has a lot of strong meanings to the words and many people find comfort in this and it will guide them to where they want to be in life. This is the spiritual way of getting in touch with music and your inner being. Singing is another great way to find a form of release through hard times when going through a divorce. They will sing and feel a lot better about who they are and what they are doing. This is something that a lot of people will use as their escape techniques. Music and singing is something that they can do to feel free and feel good about them. There is nothing wrong with singing even if you are out of tune. Sing in the shower if you are afraid someone will hear you. Keeping a positive attitude through a divorce is very vital to the outcome of your life. You will want to make sure that you are doing what you can to keep a good outlook on life. For some of these people, music is just the way to go. It will help them find out more about who they are and what they want from life. Some of the most important and interesting ambitions are invented through the power of music. Listening to some great tunes will help a person stay focused and secure in their life. Over a period of time, listening to the right music can help a person feel better and more confident in life. Anytime you get the chance stop to listen to the music that you feel comforted by the most. It is something that can help to change your life for the better.
Divorce -- How to rebuild your life memories and forgetting Memories are something that we will have for a lifetime. These are sometimes good and other times they are hard to hold onto. There are some instances when all we really want to do is forget about the world and move on with our lives. This is true for anyone that is going through a divorce. This can be the most difficult time of your life and you will have to make the necessary arrangements to keep the good memories and forget the old. It will depend on how long you were married and how many good and bad memories you have. For some people they may be getting divorced after many long years of marriage. For them, they will have had their share of ups and downs and it is important for them to hold onto the good memories so that they can keep a positive attitude towards life. Memories that are not so great are something that you may want to forget. When you are going through a divorce, it will seem like everything will bring up a familiar memory to you. You will want to make sure that you are going to be able to deal with those times and all the feelings that come along with it. You may have to find a way to cope with them and to get past the things that remind you of the good old days. Sometimes it is ok to have the fond memories come back. There are many times when you are going to have these feelings of old memories come rushing back. You will have the comfort of these memories as long as you are able to control the way that they make you feel. You want to be able to keep these memories in the back of your mind but you also want to be able to get past the bad feelings that some of these memories can leave for you. If you are looking to try and forget the memories of your life that you had before your divorce, it may be an uphill battle. There may be no way of getting past this type of issue. You do not want to forget the good times that you have endured especially if those memories included children. You want to be able to look back on this time with happiness and not be disappointed or upset by them. You should remember that you would have many new memories to make for yourself and your family. You want to take comfort in the fact that you still have a life to live and you want to make the most of the life that you have now. You want to go on and continue to enjoy the good things in life as much as you can. In time, you will find it easier to let go of the past and get started with the new beginning that you are about to go through. The worst thing that you can do is shut out the memories that you have created with someone that you loved even if now you are no longer in love with that person. You will want to grow with these memories and find ways to accept the fact that the past is gone and that you now have to live for the future and what it holds in store for you. A divorce is not the end of the world and you will want to find ways to move past the hurt and get to the good stuff that lies ahead. Divorce -- rebuild your life without your spouse -- learning to eat alone The hardest part of a divorce is being alone. You have to learn how to do everything alone. You have to learn to live alone, to do things out side of the home alone, to sleep alone, and to eat alone. Have you ever sat in a restaurant alone? Did you feel weird? Do you feel like you don't fit in being a single? Well don't fret because you will be able to rebuild your life without your ex and you can learn to enjoy being single. How can you learn to eat alone? It's hard. It's so hard to be around couples and be the odd one in the middle, however, it doesn't have to be. If you are willing to try, you will find that your first time will be very difficult. One you first go to a restaurant, for the first time, without someone you are going to be insecure and wonder how many people are staring at you and what they are saying or thinking. The others don't really matter, it's insecurity with yourself. To deal with this you have to go through many steps. First, you should go out and get all dolled up. Look your best in a new dress and have all the pampering done all day long. When you feel like you are so beautiful, you are ready to go out. Make reservations at your favorite place and strut your stuff walking into the place. People will notice you, but then you will know it is because you look so great and not because you stand out in a negative way. This will make you more confident. When it comes to your behavior during the deal you can order a drink and read some of the things that are at your table. You don't have to make eye contact with anyone. All you have to do is sit there and give off some confidence. Soon you will have men coming up to you and giving you a lot of attention. This is perfectly fine. It will give you compliments and you will love the free drinks. Once you have built some confidence up, you will find that you will have no problem eating out by yourself, but what about eating alone in your home. Well don't feel bad about being single. Make a healthy meal and then make yourself comfortable in the kitchen or in front of the TV. You may want to cuddle up in a blanket and enjoy some comedy or such on TV. Once you have done this a couple times at home you will become comfortable eating alone anywhere. The key to being alone is being able to say negative things but then letting them roll off your back. You should not expect to be able to be okay with being alone right away. The longer that you were together, the harder it is to get over the relationship. You may feel like you never want to be alone ever, well it's not possible. You need to learn how to be independent. You know when you are independent when you are able to go out to eat by yourself and not feel one bit out of place. For you to be able to be okay with being alone, you have to be okay with yourself. That is why it is sometimes easier for women to get dressed up and look their best before they go. As for men, they usually do not have issues with being alone. They can be alone, they can eat alone, they can sleep alone and so on. Men do not have security issues like women. If you truly dislike being alone, you can spend more time with loved ones, but you will never know how it feels to be independent. Divorce -- moving on and keeping that life insurance Did you know that your life insurance policy could still cover your ex even if you two are divorced and no longer wish to be apart of each other's lives? Insurance policies have a lot of fine writing when it comes to this. You don't want to ignore your insurance decisions because it may end up making you pay more than you could ever imagine. The laws are different for every state, so you will want to check out what it means for you and your mate, because you may find yourself in the middle of some expensive complications. If you have a good insurance agent, you may be able to protect yourself from this. You will want to make sure that you think carefully about your insurance options when it comes to your mate. First, you need to think about your life insurance. When you have something that involves a lot of money, you will want to make sure you know exactly what it is that you are signing. When it comes to getting your spouse of your policy you will want to talk to agent right away. As soon as the papers are filed, you should see what you have to do to take them off the policy. Some states will make the policy invalid as soon as the divorce goes through. You may also need to replace them and get a change in the policy. You can take your ex off and place your children or others as the beneficiary. Changing you beneficiary isn't hard and came be done within minutes. Think about who pays the premium. If your husband wants he can stop paying or cash in the policy and leave you with nothing if anything happens. To protect the children, make sure that your divorce states that they keep the policy with the children as the beneficiary and make sure that he or she shows proof to it each year. The only thing is that if a policy lapses, they don't have to reinstate it. You may be about of the money, but your ex may be responsible to repay all the premiums that were paid. If you would like to name your children as the beneficiary, you will want to open a trust fund and then name the beneficiary the trust. This way your ex will never see the money. They are not allowed to give the money to the ex, but place it into a trust fund that the children can collect at 21 or 18, whatever the agreement happens to be. Make sure that you have all your bases covered so that your ex doesn't get any of the money. Think about the medical insurance. In some states you can stay on the policy for 36 months after the divorce is final. You child can be covered until they are adults when it comes to most policies. The key is to make sure that you know your HMO limits. If you move, your ex may not be covered or for emergencies only. Homeowners will give you some surprises. The things that are covered may only be those of the named insured. Therefore, if your wife or husband has the insurance in their name, then your stuff will not be paid for if a fire or other damage happens. When you move you, make sure that you take everything to your name. You will want to take anything that you would miss if it were unable to be recovered. Your auto insurance is another things that you will want to think about looking over so that you know if you are covered under your ex's. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life, improve your body exercise When it comes to divorce, it can be very painful. It is one of the most challenging things that you may ever go through in life and it's ever harder when you have children in the mix. Divorce can also be seen as an opportunity to start a new life. You can do everything all over again, but hopefully learn from your mistakes. There will be many things that you will have to overcome when it comes to the divorce process. You will want to move on and with some respect. If your husband or wife left you, it can be very difficult to deal with, so you may start to try to find comfort in unhealthy behaviors. You will want to avoid the drinking, smoking, drugs, and overeating. Those who are seriously depressed with notice that they tend to eat more because they are overwhelmed with feelings. You don't want to do anything that will jeopardize your health. In fact, you should get hobbies to fill the time and maybe take away the feelings of emptiness. If you do things that take a good amount of focus like solving puzzles or exercising, not only will you keep your hands off the goodies, b ut you will also be able to stimulate your mind and body. When it comes to exercise, some people will start because they feel that their mate left because of their appearance. There is nothing wrong with your appearance. Some people just fall in love quickly and just as quickly out of love. You should never start exercising with the intensions of brining them back. This will not only hinder your weight loss when it doesn't work out, but why would you want to go through all of that for someone else? If you feel the need to lose weight and get healthy, then it should be because you want it for yourself. Since this is a major way of dealing with your pain, you will want to have someone there for you all the way. You want someone to talk to about the divorce and someone who is willing to encourage you to get healthy. This person can be a close friend or family member. All you need from them is complete support. You may want to see if they would like to go to the gym with you so that you can have some competition. Competition will keep you going with pace and it will make you work out harder. This person will comfort you through the divorce and they will allow you to stand on your own. When it comes to weight loss, you will notice that your entire life can change. You may begin to realize that you are a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for. If you are able to exercise and burn off all the pain and hurt that you are feeling, it won't take as much time to move on. If you can get your feelings out, you will find that you will be able to let go, move on, and build a new and wonderful life for yourself. Rebuilding is hard and it can be frustrating, but if you have someone near you to help you pull through then you are among the lucky ones. A divorce can take so much out of you, but if you do not allow it to get to you or bring yourself down, then you will be able to stand a much stronger and independent person. You will be able to find strength in yourself and it will be a great comfort when the divorce is final. Your marriage may be over, but you have just been given an opportunity to rebuild the perfect live for yourself. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life, how to talk to your children If your child is young, you will want to talk to them about your divorce with your partner. You may want to leave the talk up to the parent that is closer to the child if they are in their teens or older. A child, at any age, will have an issue with their parents during a divorce. You will want to be careful how you handle the situation because you never know what may happen and what the child might do to react to the divorce. To a small child, divorce is the hardest. Their entire world seems to collapse They will become enraged and scared. They won't know what to expect, until you talk to them, they will feel like they have just become an orphan. When it come to a divorce with children involved, you will want to make it as quickly and do a lot of damage control. You will need tot talk to them about how they feel and you can learn how to support your child through this. How to you tell your child that daddy/mommy is moving out? You should talk about your break up and the divorce as soon as you know that it will go through. You will need to tell the child what is going to happen so they can expect everything and not be affected by surprise or shock. You need to make sure that they understand that your marriage did not fail because of them. You will want to tell your child that they are still loved and that nothing, other than sleeping arrangements will change. The kids need to know that they aren't losing a parent. If you find it hard to be together with your partner, then you may take your child aside and talk to them with another that loves them very dearly. You may want to ask the babysitter or someone whom they are close to so that they can receive support. You should also try to make the talk quick and easy. You will need to give your statement and a little definition of what means. Tell them how the divorce will effect their lives and you should be as honest as possible. You need to tell them why you are getting a divorce, explain the word divorce, and then tell them how it will affect their relationship with their parents. Make sure that you don't say anything bad about your partner. Just tell your kids that you feel that the two of you would be better apart. The kids are smart and may agree, but they will be angry and scared because they do not feel secure. Don't ever say anything about the divorce that is negative, even if you are on the phone in a different room. You never know how it will effect their lives. You should not just tell your kids how you feel and about the divorce and then never talk about it again. You need to encourage them to ask questions for the next couple of months. Smaller children will find difficulty so you will want to make sure that feel safe and secure even if one of their parent's move out. Some of the questions that you need to be prepared to answer are What's a divorce, Why are you two getting a divorce, Do you still love them, and they may ask you to see the other parent. All of these questions need to be answered as soon as possible so that they can feel secure again. You may want to ask their teachers if they are acting up and for any tips or news that may suggest that the child is having a hard accepting the news. How to stop crying, during divorce It's hard getting over a relationship, especially if you have promised to be with each forever, but divorce can sometimes be a blessing. It's okay to cry for a few days, but you have put yourself back together and move. Divorce is not the end of your life, it's just the end of a relationship. Although, that make seem so casual, but you may have other things that you need to focus on, rather than you marriage. If you have children, this would be a great time to start focusing on them more. Go to the movies, go to the mall, just do things with your children so that you can focus on something worth your time. Thousands of people have gone through divorce, so you're not the only one. Why should you cry anyway? It's not your fault that it didn't work, you two probably were just at two different places in life. It's not because of you personally. There are so many things that you need to focus on that you may become overwhelmed, but that's okay, it's a natural feeling. Instead of going in a depression, you need to focus on what's going on. You need to begin the process. The first process to separating may be therapy. You may want to go alone or you can go with your mate. Even though it may seem too late for therapy, it will help you two be great parents. If you can get over all the issues and all the angry and you can valid each other's feelings, than you can have a great relationship after the marriage. You may want to go alone at first. This way you can get all of your feelings out and you can release some of the anger and some of the hurt. Therapy is a great starting place because you can find yourself again and you can identify things that will help you move on. There are a lot of questions that you may feel unanswered. Know that, this was an act of fate. It could be the result of his actions, your actions, or both. However, regardless you cannot think of yourself as the problem. Fate was the problem. There are certain aspects of the universe that pulls people together and then apart, much like a magnet. If you think about it in words of fate, you will find strength, and you will also find the courage to move on. This is just a chapter in the many books of your life. Don't worry because there will be love after divorce and there will be other exciting chapters of your life still to be read, so it's okay to let go. You never what you may find after this whole thing blows over. It may take weeks or months to come to the fact, but you take as much time as you need. To end the tears, to end the pain, you need to find other things that make you happy and just do it. If you find comfort in friends, be with them as much as possible. If you have children, it goes the same. If you would really like to stop the crying, you will get out of bed, brush your teeth, get dressed up, and go to dinner, with friends, or family, or even by yourself. Getting up and looking like a hundred bucks will begin the process of letting go. Whenever you feel lonely or blue, reach out to someone that you love and support you and talk. Talking helps everything. Share your feelings, and whatever you do, do not isolate yourself. You should be with people who love you during this time of need. Divorce -- rebuild your life and your bank account, how to save money You will want to figure out ways that you can save money when it comes to a divorce. It's hard enough dealing with all the things that you are going to have to give up. You should know that it is hard to rebuild your life after the divorce, so you may want to figure out how to save money during the divorce. One way to save yourself some money is to be your own PI. A PI is a private investigator. You need to know what the assets are, what the liabilities are, where your spouse goes at night, what they may own, and other things. You will be surprised what you will recover from your investigation. So how do you do an investigation? First, you need to look at the planners or notes that they leave around or on their desk. If you do not live in the house anymore, you may not have a legal right to anything in the house, if it isn't in your name. This way you may not be able to legally obtain notes from the desk. However, you have the right to go through the trash once it is placed to be picked up. There's a lot that you can find out in the trash, especially when it comes to the old bills, and it will give you some questions that you may need to look further into to answer. Not all answers are given right away. You may end up having to track their moves and what they do so that you can gain strength in the case. You should also fill out the court financial forms. This is helpful when you think that your ex may end up taking it all. It will help you organize your information so that you can foresee the future. You will begin to look forward to the future when you see what your new life will be like. It will also tell you if you can enjoy the same lifestyle after the divorce. Together, you may be able to live a good life, but you may find that your lifestyle is too much for one person to handle the burden. You may need to prioritize your life. You should also get a good and solid value of your house. The real estate market can be unstable. You need to know the value of your home by giving it a title; such as breach house, family home, investment property, and so on. Then you should base your value on the most recent appraisal. To come to an even closer value you will need to seek the opinion of a realtor and an appraiser. Sometimes the realtor will come with an appraiser. Sometimes you don't have to pay a fee if you may end up selling your house. Another thing that you will need to do is obtain the value of any family business. You will want to make sure that you know what you are worth or what your husband is worth so you can either obtain more money in the divorce or learn how to protect your assets. The business name has a lot of value and may be connected to a patent or intellectual property. Your business may be valued high just for the fact that it has a value of interest held by many people. You should also try to calculate child support too. Find out your laws and do the math. The law takes in consideration how much time their spend with one parent and the expenses of the child, as well as, your income. All of these suggestions will help you with your divorce expenses. Keeping positive during a divorce If you are someone that is facing a divorce, you may be feeling very depressed or emotionally in distress. These feelings are very normal. You cannot predict what is going to happen when you get married. Some marriages work and others do not. It is important to understand that this is not the end of the world and things like this happen all the time. You are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse cannot longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. You need to worry about your future and the well being of yourself and your children if any. Sometimes a divorce can be avoided with the right consoling and other times, there is just no hope. You have to keep positive when you are going through a divorce. You cannot let yourself be taken down by what is happening around you. If you are being accused of untruthful accusations, you have to keep strong so that you can defend your name and your reputation. Do not give up. You have to be able to fight for what you think is right until the end. If you are determined to get something that is rightfully yours, you need to stand up for it. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you do have to keep up a good fight for it. You have to make sure that you are doing this so that you can keep up your positive attitude about what it going on. Keep yourself surrounded by others that are positive as well. Keeping your friends and family around you is important. You need to keep having fun and laughing when you can. This will keep you in a positive atmosphere and keep you ready for what is ahead. Once the divorce is over and done with no matter what the outcome, you have to be ready to go on with your life. You need to be ready to get on with your future and to make your dreams come true. Your life is not over even if you think that it is. There are always second chances and you deserve to have one. Your time will come for love again and if it does not, you will know that you are better off without the other spouse. You can make it on your own and have a good life. How to rebuild your life, learn divorce laws Divorce can be messy and difficult. You do not want to have a lawyer that never calls you or that never communicates with you. Before you hire a lawyer, you may want to look up some of your state divorce laws so that you have a better understanding of the situation. You need to find legal representation and ask your lawyer about certain laws that you can file under. You will need to know what may prevent you from getting what you deserve like a pre-nup. You should also refer to other cases so that you know what to expect. Sometimes your lawyer may sugar coat the situation, but if you are able to identify some of the things that could help your case, your attorney is also more likely to let you know the truth. They will think that you have some general knowledge of the laws and if you are prepared your lawyer will be straight and honest with you. If you plan on having a huge divorce worth a lot than you will want to go with a firm to represent you. You can also help your lawyer prepare by telling them some things that may be used against your spouse and also be doing research. If you stumble across a law that can be used to your advantage then you are more likely to win because it might be something that your lawyer never thought of. If you cannot afford a decent lawyer than you will need to hire a bono lawyer. They have limited knowledge and resources. They may not know the law as well and may want to just settle. If you learn how to investigate, your own divorce than you should be able to tell your pro-bono lawyer to build the case against your spouse and then you will be more likely to get what you deserve in the case. You should also research the laws for quick settlements. Once you get a quick deed, then it cannot be undone and you may end up with less than what you started the process with. You should know that there are tax payments that would be paid. Each state has certain laws when it comes to the quick divorce. You will also need to research any other taxes or fees that may be paid for things like property or the interest of property. To do the proper research you may want to ask your lawyer what you should do and how you can help. You can also go online and begin to search for cases and laws that may be helpful t you. You will want to make sure that you keep all financial records that were saved during the marriage. This way you know what everything was paid and how much the depreciation of such goods would be. This will be a big help while going through the divorce. If you have children, you will have to research a lot of the state laws. This way you know exactly what the chances of you getting full custody are and what shared custody means. You will also want to check to see what the parent's limits are. You may not be able to take children out of the state during a divorce, so you will want to know what you can do, as well as, what your spouse and do within the limits of the law. You will also want to know what you can do legally to obtain information and when things need to be files so you know exactly what's going on in your divorce process. How to rebuild your life, during divorce, become friends Most people will find that it is hard to resolve or let go of their feelings during a divorce. They will become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. You should know that there are hundreds of people who feel the same way. You will want to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. When you seek therapy you will also learn how to get along with your mate for the sake of the children. You may also want to stay friends during the divorce so that you don't end up losing a lot of money during the divorce. You don't want to spend hours of your time in mediation or court. You want to be able to put this as much in the past as possible. You don't want to waste any more money and time than necessary so you should become friends with your mate for the sake of that. To be friends you should still care about what the other feels. You should talk to them privately and civilized. If you want out of a marriage and remain friends, you should try to keep affairs and such out of the air. If they don't know that you have been seeing someone else, don't tell them. Just tell them that you aren't feeling good about the marriage and want to try it apart. You will also want to keep the affair to a minimum during the divorce. As soon as you place another person in the mixing you will have someone feeling defensive, and that's not your goal of this. You should also participate in family therapy so that the kids don't feel that it's their fault. You can find security in therapy and you will notice that most people will be able to feel better because they have resolved some of the issues. They have gotten answers for some of their issues. When it comes to being friends, it's hard to divide everything up and still claim friendship. Divorce is territorial and the worst of everyone will become evident. This is when you will want to set a day or two aside to talk to your spouse calmly about what goes and what stays. If you talk without the attorneys then you can keep things off the defensively and be more productive. You can go through out the house and talk about all the things that you are going to miss and how you feel. This way they know that this isn't so easy for you either. Most of the time, you can resolve all the issues of a divorce by just talking off the record. You can save money on the lawyers as well as the hurt that is involved. You may end up having to give up some control over certain matters so that the compromise will allow the divorce to stay civilized. When you talk, you should never raise your voice. Your tone should be low and you should try to understand their side so that you are able to have a clean sweep. You should explain to your mate that this is not an act or plea to come back. You have cared about them for a long time and still do and that is why you would like to spare any of the hardships. Some people will try to be nice to come back, but if you are nice to your spouse in general, things will be more pleasant for everyone and the divorce will go quickly. You should compromise, but you shouldn't give more than you are willing. How to protect yourself from divorce When you learn that you are going to be getting divorced, it may be have been coming for a long time or it may come as a complete surprise. Either way, there are certain things that you can do for yourself, your children, and your finances. This does not mean that you have to take all of your bank accounts and all that you have and wipe them out. You have to take the responsible interests throughout the marriage so that you can protect yourself and all that you before and after if the marriage ever dissolves. There are ways that you can act reasonably while you are protecting your interests. These are only precautions that you will need to take care of if the divorce is not being ended amicably. Depending on how well you and your spouse can get along at the time of the divorce, you may choose not to act on some of the suggestions that are given. You may decide that you and your spouse can work arrangements for everything without arguing. Whenever possible, try and make everything go as well and as easy as you can. You should always get an attorney when you are heading towards divorce. They will make sure that you are taking the necessary precautions so that you can protect what you have and all the assets you have accumulated during the marriage. Try and protect all of your own personal property that you have accumulated over the years. You need to move papers and documents so that you are the only one that knows where they are. If you must present them at a court hearing then you must do so. However, you need to make sure that you can keep all of your valuables safe so that you have a better chance at keeping them throughout the divorce. Once of the best things that you can do before you decide to get married, is make sure that you know the person. Get to know them for a long period before you decide to take the big step into marriage. You have to be able trust so that you can feel good about marrying them. Have a long engagement so that you can see if the person changes any. If so, you may want to get out of the relationship before you decide to marry. This could be the best thing for both of you. How to protect your finances for divorce If you think that you will be ending your marriage in the near future and you are uncertain what the future will hold for you, you may want to start taking the right precautions now. You have to make sure that you are protecting your financial security for later. Reduce unnecessary expenses as soon as you can. Meet with your spouse and agree to cancel utilities and other bills. You will probably need to have money later on and this is a way to save money. Sell off your personal property that you do not need or want anymore. You can do this now to avoid losing it later on. Cancel all of your jointly owned credit cards. You both should agree to cancel the cards and get separate ones. You need to cancel the cards because the spouse can charge up all kinds of different charge on the cards and you will get stuck paying them back. Canceling the cards now can save you money that you will need to have later on. You may want to separate the jointly owned bank accounts. If you have bank accounts together, you may want to divide the money first. If not, your spouse may decide to go and take care of the money on their own and leave you with nothing. If you have outstanding bills for the home, explain this to the spouse so that the arrangements can be made to pay for them. If you do open up a different bank account, do it at another bank. Do not stay with the same company. Stop contributing to combined accounts like 401K and pension plans. Telling your place of employment usually does this. Make the necessary arrangements so that your money is not being added to this account. You have to do this until you find out what will happen to those accounts and who will benefit from them. Keep your job or try and find one. You have to make sure that you are protecting yourself and able to raise your family. If you are not getting any income from your spouse, you will have to do something to support your monthly needs. You may want to ask your 'soon to be ex' if they can help you financially until the divorce proceedings are over. This is only recommended if you are ending the divorce in a good way. If you are fighting over everything and not getting along, you need to contact your attorney and have them ask for you. How to look your friends in the face, during divorce When it comes to divorce, it is hard to tell your spouse, it's even harder to tell your friends and family. If you have been thinking about divorce and you have taken it heavy to heart, then you will want to tell your spouse and then your family. The timing needs to be right. You shouldn't announce at thanksgiving dinner that you would like a divorce and hope that your entire family listening so you don't have to repeat it. You should arrange a time like luncheon to tell your closest family. Take your mother out to dinner and tell her what you think and how you feel. It's okay to vent. Your family will be completely understanding, and if you don't think that someone will be, let them hear through the grapevine. You should speak to them with calmness in your voice. You can imagine how some of your family will react, they too will be shocked, and especially if they didn't know that the marriage has problems. You should never tell your family on the phone, in a letter, or on the answer machine. If you don't think you can face someone and tell them, then don't tell them at all. Wait until you have had time to accept it and when you are in a good state of mind. Let the shock happen. Once you have told your family and friends they will begin to ask you questions. You have the right to answer and the right to decline. You don't have to justify anything to them. As for showing your face up to family events, You may want to pull away for a couple months because they are going to be a lot of ignorant people who tell you that they are sorry or comment and if you aren't ready for that it's okay to pull away from certain events, but you can not isolate yourself. It will help you to face your friends and family once you have someone on your side. You may want to tell your sister, your brother, a close friend. This way you will find strength in numbers. The most people to understand your situation, the better you will feel about it When it comes to telling the children, you should do it together. You both should remain calm and just tell the children that you would like to try it apart, but make sure that the children understand that they aren't losing a parent or both. Counseling has helped a lot of people deal with their failing marriage by lending some support. You should discuss some of the arrangements that you need to figure out and how you feel going through the process. Therapy would also be a help when it comes to announcing it to someone who may not understand. You will find courage and strength in the therapy. You may feel uncomfortable announcing your spit, but you need to remember that this is the time that you need to lean on someone. You need to find comfort from your friends and family. How else will you find comfort if you do not tell them; as soon as you are ready you can make a phone and invite some friends or family over and tell them everything. Don't leave anything out. Your friends will validate your feelings and will support you so do not fear their response. Divorce is hard on everyone, but telling the friends and family should not because they love you. They want you to be happy and will be there for you regardless of anything. They are your support system and should be allowed to give you the support that you need. How to help children through divorce Divorce is a very hard time for everyone to deal with. It can be very hard on a person emotionally and physically as well. This is especially true for children. They have to have the proper help during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much. Parents are going to have to work hard at putting aside their anger and hard feelings toward each other. They have to sit down and make an arrangement that will be suitable to them and to the children. This is going too much easier and less painful than having to go into court and have them decide this for you. You have to be able to pull together with your spouse and help the children. This is the only way to help them through this hard time. If one parent decides to go against their commitment to help their child the responsible way, you should still keep your values as a parent and help them the best that you can. You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them when you make your decision and what is going to happen. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the child that both parents are still going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense. Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them. Let them know that it was a mutual decision and that you both did your best to avoid this ending. Make your child aware that they are not going to be able to get the both of you back together. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to make the situation go away. Also make it clear to them where they are going to live and that they can see the other parent any time they want to. You can tell them that there may be some changes in that later on, but it is not going to affect their relationship. Give them the opportunity to ask you any questions that they may have for you both. Giving the child the right information and not too much information is important. You do not want them to feel anxious or worry about anything that is not their concern. They have to feel comfortable with the news that you told them and give them some time to adjust to the idea. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life -- how to file for divorce Divorce should be considered as a last resort to fix a relationship problem. This type of procedure is very serious and it has to be a decision that is well thought out before attempting to start the process. You need to make sure that you are ready for this type of drastic measure in order to help your relationship get better. When you are filing for divorce, you will want to notify the court that you are going to proceed with the dissolution of your marriage. This is something that means you are not able to work the marriage out any more and you want to put it to an end. You will file a summons and petition the court in your county. Ultimately it is then in the courts hands and you will have to wait to hear when the actual hearing will be to determine the next step. Before you decide to file for divorce, you will want to choose the proper state and county to file your papers. In order to start your divorce proceedings, you will want to make sure that you are going to the right place first. You must make sure that the divorce is occurring in the county where you or your spouse lives. You must make sure that you are ready for the long haul in a divorce. You will find that the proceedings will go on until a conclusion is reached about all of the issues that are brought up. This can take a short time or a longer period of time depending on the issues and what each party is ready to do about it. There are going to be many different alternatives in a divorce proceeding. You will want to make sure that you are open minded and going in to the process with good intentions at the same time. You may have to go to court in order to figure out what is best for you and you family. You may have to talk to a judge and let them decide for you if you are not able to come to a resolution together. The judge will take into consideration everything that is said so that he can make the best decision for everyone that is involved in the proceedings. You may want to make sure that you are ready for this type of outcome to happen. You will probably find it to be necessary to hire and attorney to take care of the proceedings in your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are represented well so that you are not putting yourself at risk for coming up short in the end. You want have your message sent to the courts loud and clear so that you are able to make sure that your side of the story is heard. There are many factors that have to be decided in a divorce hearing and you want to do your best to have it ruled in your favor. The last thing that you should want to do is make the divorce a messy one. You should not want to make it hard for the other person just for spite. This is not a good idea because all it will do is add more stress on you and may even hurt your case. You want to make sure that you are doing what you can to make this procedure go as quickly and fairly as you can. That would be best for everyone involved including you and the family around you. Divorce, getting past the anger It is ok sometimes to be angry. Sometimes this is a great way to move past certain problems and issues that you may have. Anger is completely normal and you will want to make sure that you are dealing with it as best as you can. You will want to be careful so that you are not setting yourself up for more problems when you are angry because of a divorce. Getting divorced can be a hard time in anyone's life. It is something that you will have to deal with one day at a time. It is not always easy for both parties especially if you are not the person initiating the divorce. If you are the person that is being left, you may feel angry and hurt at the other person. These feelings are completely relevant and you will have more emotions come up in the future as well. When you are having issues with anger because of a divorce, you will want to make sure that you are using your best judgment in the matter. You do not want to do anything to harsh because you may later regret it. Remember that once you do something or say something, it is impossible for you to take it back. You must remain calm in this situation so that you are not coming off looking irrational or childish. There are ways that you can deal with the anger after a divorce. You will want to sit down and calmly think about them first. You do want to make sure that you have the facts to why you are getting divorced. Make sure that you are not left out in the dark so that you can have a full understanding of what is going on in your life. You can try and talk to your soon to be ex and find out what is going on and use communication as a form of release. Talking things out can sometimes make a person feel much better. In order for you to feel better and get through the divorce, you will need to move past the angry part. You have to find a way to move on and get through this difficult time. There is no real answers to how you do this, you just have to figure out the best way that you know how so that you are taking care of you first. The most important thing that you can do when you are in the process of a divorce or after it is said and done is to take care of yourself. You need to make sure that you are staying healthy and happy because you are more important. Angry is a very passionate emotion. It can take you up or down. It will depend on the way that you are able to handle the emotion and what you intend to do with it. You do not want to let the anger that you have inside you got too far advanced. You want to make sure that you can contain it and keep it under control for your sake and the sake of others. There is no reason to fly off the handle and cause a big scene even though it may seem like it is a good idea at the time. You can seek treatment for any anger issues that you may be dealing with. When you think that you are not able to control your anger, you can go and find help for these problems. You can get counseling and find out what is making you so angry and different steps to make it better and improve as time rolls on. Divorce; learn to get past what you hear Divorce teaches a person many things. Some people take them to a place that makes them bitter. People lose a lot in divorces and that's not just personal materials. A person will lose a piece of himself or herself through the process of divorce. You should know that when you go through a divorce you might make a lot of personal changes. You will find your own way and become independent. You may change negatively, but eventually you'll get back on track. You will want to overcome being this way by allowing yourself to learn your lesson, but not hold it against yourself. You will learn so much from a divorce that you may be scared to enter another relationship, but you shouldn't. You should know that your friends and family love you and want you to be happy. Your friends will encourage you, as well as, support you. One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce is you are stronger than you think. It takes a lot out of a person and it knock you down. Going though all that you have, you will become a stronger person. It will enable you to handle situations that you normally wouldn't think you could handle. Divorce makes you stronger. It will also allow you to know the difference between words and action. Your mate might have promised to be civilized and then took everything. This may make you not want to trust anyone ever again, however, you will find a medium of believing everything and distrusting everything. You will know when someone is feeding you a line and you will tell when someone is being truly honest. Actions always speak louder than words. You may want to keep that in mind when it comes to other relationships. You will also learn to appreciate your friends. You know when you have a true friend because you will never be alone in your times of need. Your friends will always have your back in everything that you do. You will also find that your friends are source of strength. They will encourage you to be better and they will encourage you to have goals and reach for them. Divorce will also let you know which friends aren't worth a dime. You will be able to tell the difference between an honest person and someone who will stay with you and someone who just uses your friendship every now and then. Another important less that everyone will learn is that anger helps heal. Although, there are people who say that you should hold back on your anger during times like divorce so that you don't mess up you case. But you need to get angry! You need to yell, you need to curse, you need right your wrong even if it won't help. Once you have expressed your anger you can then learn what it takes to let it go. You can get all your feelings out, all your hurt, and then you can learn to forgive. Anger is the beginning of the healing process. Another tip that you will get from divorce is that sometimes it's better to be on your own and follow your own path, whether than put up following someone else. You will be happier being able to control your life you will be a better person if you are able to find your own way of doing things. Your self-esteem will rise because you are an independent individual. It may be something that you never expected from yourself and more of a reason to feel a whole lot better about the situation. Divorce, rebuild your life, get out of that mortgage When it comes to the divorce you have every right to think about the mortgage. If you don't think that you'd be able to pay the mortgage of the home, then you should not go for the house. If you want out of the mortgage you may have some trouble. When it comes to the house every state has a different law that pertains to community property. In fact, some states are known as non community property states, where they believe that someone always owns everything; it's just a matter of determining who. When it comes to the lenders, they aren't going to be happy having to redo the mortgage of your home. However, even if you are in the middle of the divorce, the mortgage payment still needs to be paid. In fact, it is up to the creditor to allow you to get off the mortgage or keep you on. If your wife or husband can not get the loan by themselves, then you are more than likely going to have to make sure that the mortgage is paid regardless if you life there are not. This can really mess up someone's credit. If you want to get out of the divorce without the mortgage, you are going to have to think about a few things. You are going to either ask your spouse to buy it out, or you will have to ask them to sell. Depending on the state and your circumstances, you may have to sell the house regardless. If the other person cannot find a co-signer than they will be forced to give up the home. This is one of the easiest ways to get out of a mortgage, however, the laws vary from states and you may have difficulty splitting the assets 50-50. Remember, if you place your house up for sale, you still have to pay the mortgage until the day it is signed over to a new couple or person. This is because you are still the legal owner of the home and it has to be sent by someone. If you are worried about your credit rating you will have to do some work or investigation because you enter the divorce process. You will need to know what credit cards that you two have and the balances on each. Not only do you have to worry about the liabilities that you two have racked up during the marriage, you have to think about all the money that you have saved on account. You may end up having to repaying your spouse from the account and pay for your credit debt. When you file for divorce you will want to close all joint accounts. Make sure that everyone knows that it was by request, not because of other circumstances. You will want them to note that so that it shows up on your credit report and has nothing to do with your credit when you go and apply for credit. Some people will run up he bills and then make some payments late to screw the other person in the divorce, but that is ridiculous. If you try to screw up their credit, your credit is going down too. So why bother playing such games when it's just going to cost you more in the end. Also, make sure that you have a copy of your credit report so that you can keep notes of the changes in your rating. This way you can't get in trouble if your mate tries to play the credit game and starts buying things with your name and then not paying for it. Divorce -- How to rebuild your life, get new clothes and feel good Okay, so you have just gone through one of the most painful times of your life, what do you do now? Well the grieving is over. You need to get out of your gloom and move on. You have been given an opportunity to rebuild your life. You have found yourself suddenly single, but you don't realize just how much you have. You may see your life as shattered, but you should look at it as a clean slate. You need to get back in with the crowd and mingle like you never skipped a beat. The first step to getting over a divorce is to make subtle changes. The first thing that a woman will change about her is her hair. Hair is special to women. When you feel like you have gone through a change, you feel the need to change your hair because it represents whom you are. Then you should head straight to the mall and purchase some outfits. You are no longer married, and nor should you look like it. You can wear the tighter shirts and the shorter skirts. You do not have to go from conventional to streetwalker, but if you spice up your wardrobe you will feel better about yourself. When you wear things that are beautiful, you will feel beautiful. You will feel so much about the way that you look. You should wear colors that you normally would not wear. You should purchase things that seem out of your style just to find yourself. Maybe you already know who you are, and that's great. You didn't allow yourself to be dragged down by the divorce. However, you maybe a little confused. You may not know exactly what you want from life and for your future. That is okay to be a little confused about things. However, if you go out and you purchase something that your mate would not have liked, you will suddenly feel better about yourself. Go to the mall and purchase a fancy dress and go to a place that you wouldn't normally go with your ex. It may be the opera, a play, dinner, and so on. You will be able to experience something new or do something that you love and you will look good too. Being single is not that bad. You can be whomever you want and wear whatever you want. You have so much freedom. You should take advantage of purchasing clothes without having to have a talk with your partner. Your money is now your money to do whatever you would like. Regardless of age, if you begin to date sooner than later you will be able to get over the divorce quickly. You don't need the emphasis on commitment or even sex. All you need is to get back in the game. Go out to dinner. This way you aren't at home mopping and you may even find someone who is fun to be with and that will show you how to love again. You do not need to have an expectation about anyone, but you never know where Mr. Right maybe. You should never rush into a committed relationship right after you have gone through a divorce. If you do, them you may be setting yourself up for more pain, however if you just purchase an outfit and have a casual night on the town, you will find that moving is a lot easier than you thought it would be. So get up, put on that new sundress and have a great day enjoying life. With subtle changes of style, love, laugher, and fun can be just around the corner. Divorce, rebuild your life, get a new pet So what happens to the pets when it comes to the divorce? Some care so much about their animals that it could be devastating when the lawyers speak of them like property. The value of the pets that we place in our hearts can sometimes be hard when it comes to being apart. If you are in the battle of your lifetime and your mate wants to fight dirty, they can go for custody of the pets. They use the pets like leverage, much like children. The key to making out like a bandit in a divorce is to found what one person wants and then act like you need it or want it more. Usually the courts will give pets to the one who is more passionate or emotionally attached, which can be easily faked. Ex's go for the pets because they want to hurt you as much as possible. If you have any children or pets in a marriage you are more than likely to have an ugly divorce. Like the children, the courts will ask themselves what is best for the pet. If your spouse gets the home and the yard, more likely they'll get the dog. If the pet only knows that one home, they are more likely to get the pet because they have an emotional attachment to their secured home. However, some judges will go on the fact of who had the dog first. If you gave it to your girlfriend and then over the years became attached it, the attachment doesn't matter. Sometimes they look at pets like property. Who has the right it property? Well, the answer is, the one who owns it. They will not share the pet. This is because it's actually unhealthy for the dog. The dog will become confused easily and they won't have their security and may develop some emotional or aggressive behaviors. Most of the time, the wife got the kids, the house, and the pets. This is because they feel that the children need the house as security and the family pet needs the children for security as well, so they all go together. This is one issue that has been addressed over the years, and the father has gotten all three. If the judge can't think about the pet's interest, maybe you or your spouse should start acting properly in the divorce and instead of trying to get it all, give up the things you really don't want. If you don't like the dog, don't take the dog. If you don't the cat, don't ask for it. Don't fight over something that is just going to hurt you both in the long run. However, there are people who lose their pet and need to rebuild their life with a new one. There is always going to be hurt feelings about losing the original pet, but getting another one will help you deal with the loss, it won't replace the animal, but it will allow you to begin the process of moving on and letting go. You may need some time to think things over. It's hard to replace a pet that you were so close to. It's like losing a child or best friend. However, if you get another pet, not just another dog or cat, but any type of pet that will comfort you and be there for you then the divorce will be a lot easier to cope with. If you are thinking about a new pet, you should go to the shelters. They have animals that have been rejected and hurt and they will bond with you. You are more likely to bond with them because you can understand their situation. You may find that a pet from the shelter will be exactly what you need. Divorce, finding that new special friend and moving on Do you find yourself divorced and dating again? It's so hard to find someone special enough to make a move. It's hard enough to even accept your first date let alone start a new life with someone special. Dating is a game that can involve good times and bad times. The thing about love is that you have a risk and everyone has a risk. The excitement is what we live for. It is what we need in our lives. If you have been out of the game for a long time, you may feel a little out of place. You are now in new situations with new people. Dating is hard and it gets harder the older we get. Why? Because we tend to be on the defense rather than the offense when it comes to dating in our older years. Before you get to the dating, you have to stop and think about a few things. You have to seriously think about what you are looking for and why. The first thing that you need to do is just your priorities straight. Do you just want to meet new people, do you want to be friends, or this a relationship that you seek? Don't allow anyone to tell you what you should do. You can be in your 60's and seek love; you can be any age and want to seek love. You should never let another person tell you what you want. You need to know what you want first so that you don't mislead anyone or get mixed messages. This is the way that you can date smart. Dating smart means that you both of the same objections and are perfectly matched in goals. The next thing is to be open-minded. You have forgotten what it is like to be in love. You can make crazy mistakes in the name of love. Don't allow yourself to get too far off the ground. You don't your heart to break so early in the game. The first date is always the worst. If he calls back, great, and if they don't then it's okay because you have another date. Don't tie yourself down. Play the field to find out what exactly you are looking for. This will let you to pick someone because you want to not because you are settling. When it comes to meeting someone new be open to the channels of love. Let your family and friends help you get back in the game by doing some blind dating or speed dating. You will want to ask some of your friends to help you find someone and you should ask your family the same thing. The only thing about blind dates is that you want to make sure that your supported. Don't allow someone to say that your too old or blind dates are ridiculous. We all have had a blind date and one or two turned out to be a meaningful relationship. You can answer a personal ad online or in the newspaper. The only thing that you have to worry about this kind of blind date is that it is done in a public place. You want to make sure that you are safely going to meet someone. Don't allow them to know your full name or where you live until after a few dates and you thing that it's someone that you would like to meet. When you have allowed yourself to meet that special someone, you will find that your life will pick up where it seemed to fall apart and you may have your happy ever after. The only thing about ever 'afters' is that they normally don't find you, you have to find them. Divorce, find out about keeping the house When comes to keeping the house, you have to be realistic. Can you really buy them out, can you afford the payments of the house? It's completely unreal. You should also think about who will get the children. If you don't want the children to be with you completely, then don't expect to get the house, because the house usually goes where the children are. You shouldn't ask for custody because of the house. Children are not leverage in a case. They should not be used so you can get whatever it is that you want. One of the biggest reasons why someone will sell the house during the divorce is because neither one of them can make the payments alone. If one of you can, you can take advantage and buy out their half or you can sell for your advantage again. If you want the house, ask the other to move out right away. This way you will have a better chance of getting the house, as well as, the other party losing the house since they forfeited over to you. The one who moves out will be seen as very generous person who just gave the other the house. Ask for a removal. This will allow you to have temporary absence, but remember they can also file for a temporary stay in the house, after the other has left. You should have a plan if you lose the house. You're not guaranteed the house; so don't act like you are. But if you run your business from the house or within the house, you will get the house most likely just because it would be an inconvenience that is unnecessary. It will prove that you have more value towards the home. You want to make sure that you never leave the house or it will leave your possession. You will want to consult your lawyer on other tips on how to keep the house. You will want to make sure that you don't suffer financially just to keep the home. Some of the things that you will need to keep in mind is who will fix the things around the house. Do you have the ability to pay for the pairs or can you do them yourself? If you do get possession of the home, you should change the locks. This way you can't have them entering the premise without your permission. You will want to change the locks as soon as they move out. This way they can't harm you during the proceedings. You may even want to install an alarm so that you know that no one can open a window and get in. If you feel that your life is in danger, don't fight over the house. However, as a mother or parent you have the right to protect your children and want to stay in the house. When it comes to disputes that include property, you have to ask yourself if it is worth it and why you are pushing the issue. To get the house, you will want to think about going through medication. You may find that you will have to give up more things for the house, but you have to wage the house against the other possessions. Usually, if you get the house than you get practically nothing else. You may get child support and alimony, but you don't get any of the other possessions in most cases. When it comes to divorce proceedings, make sure that you don't have anything to hide. If you do, have a backup plan so that you can clear your name and the courts may be more likely to give you the house. You will want to think about the children as well when it comes to the custody of the house. Divorce, find out about child support You will need to see what your state laws say about child support. The key point to child support is to make sure that the children are taken care off when the parents separate. After a divorce, some people can not provide enough for their family on one income, that is why you need to file for child support. The judge will make the child support reasonable by looking at what the father or mother makes along with the guardian of the child and then the needs of the child. The older a child gets, the more money you will pay because their needs increase. Those who refuse to pay their child support will be prosecuted. It is against the law to ignore the decisions of the courts. Usually, for child support you get to see the children on a regular basis. Both parents have a duty towards the children. One will give the support, and the other will use the support money to help their children's expenses. Usually, the one who has the least time with the child will pay the support. Sometimes it is the father and sometimes it is the mother. Your martial issues are never a concern in the child support because it doesn't matter what went wrong with the marriage, only that the child is taken care of. The only thing that matters is if the parent is responsible. If there was abuse, obviously they won't get custody and will end up paying child support regardless of visitation. You do not get to choose what you will pay, so you need to do your research when you first start the divorce proceedings. You will first want to make sure that your payment is scheduled. Your payment is due a certain time of the month and if they aren't on time, you may end up in jail for backed child support. Child support is only used to give the child shelter, food, and clothes. It may be used to purchase school supplies as well as other related things. Your payments will stop as soon as they turn 18. Some states require you to pay child support past 18 if they are still in high school or even college. If they become emancipated, you don't have to pay child support anymore either. Obviously if the child dies, you no longer have to either. Find out right away what you may be paying because if you don't pay then you will either go to jail, things will be auctioned off to pay your debt. You will have property seized by the government and then they sell the items to get the money. If you would like to keep your things or freedom, you may want to think about the amount you are willing to pay and then consult your lawyer on seeing if you can get the payment around that amount. Most people pay about $200-300 a month on child support per child. You may have to get a second job just to keep your payments coming. Don't worry about not getting the payment on time, because most employers will send it straight from your paycheck. Every check that you get, you will have a little bit taken each time for your child support bill. If you are use to living quite extravagant, when you start paying child support, your spending will have to go down or that you can afford to live on what you make. Child support is very serious and you will find that it isn't cheap. Consult your lawyer to find out what you should expect to pay. How to rebuild your life, find an attorney How to find that right lawyer to handle your divorce can be difficult. There are many factors that you will want to look at. Once you have gotten over the pain and hurt, you need to consult a lawyer to advise you on what's fair. Some lawyers will try to go for all they can, but if you want to have a civilized divorce (if one is possible) you will want to go after only what is fair. There is a lot of stress that divorce can bring, but if you find the right attorney you will find that you won't have to deal with so much. You need a lawyer that will ease your stress levels. One thing that you need to look at when choosing an attorney is the fee. Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg? If so, then you may just be adding more stress ontop of things. Lawyers will let you know what they costs will be, and that will depend on the difficulty of the divorce. If you don't have anyone contesting a marriage then you may just want to hire the same lawyer and get things over with. If you want to have a sensible divorce, you don't want to go with the high paid lawyers. They will go for all they can so that they can get a better fee. You need to be as open and honest as possible when you first meet with the lawyer. This way you can have a good idea of what to look forward to. You should also take their expertise in consideration too. If they have a good track record, you should hire them if you want to have a blood battle or get as much as possible. However, you can hire a lawyer outside of the divorce field. But if you get an experienced lawyer, they know the judges and how they react to certain cases. They will use all of their knowledge for your advantage. The fee may be more important than expertise, but you should know that you get what you pay for. You may also want to ask around. Your friends will know a few lawyers that will be good candidates. A good lawyer will not hide anything. They will let their clients know that they would like to be referred and they may even talk about past clients. This will convince you of how experienced and good they are so that you will hire them. Their testimony may mean nothing, but if you ask around you will be able to get a good idea of what they are really like. Some lawyers are known for being hard and so if that's what you are looking for, then you should go with a lawyer that everyone speaks of. You should also go with a lawyer that you like. It is important that you trust your lawyer. You need to be able to rely on them. You also need to know that their attitude goes along with yours. If you want a cutthroat lawyer, then make sure that have the personality to be, but if you just want to get it over with and be done than seek a lawyer who will go after what's fair. When it comes to picking your lawyer, you will want to make sure that you have one in mind that will do exactly what you want. You also want a lawyer who will have the time to deal with all the stress of the divorce so you can easily wash your hands of it all. You will want a lawyer that understands how you feel and knows what you want and how you would like to get it. Divorce, find an apartment, and move on in life Moving out and finding an apartment can be a good thing. It will start the divorce proceedings. However, if you have children, you do not want to move out. If you were to move out the other spouse may end up getting the children because the live in the home and it's a stable environment. Also, they may be given the home just for the fact that there are children and you have already made arrangements to live elsewhere's. However, if you move out you will have relief from the arguments and torture that many people take while trying to push a divorce through. If you would really like to keep the house, then you should stay until the judge has made his decision. At the temporary relief hearing, this is when you can make your plea to come back or make the other move out. When you do move out and find an apartment you can look for apartments that are for those who are going through a divorce. They are usually very cheap and most people will keep to themselves. If you do move out and without the children than you should see them as much as you possible can arrange so that the judge will allow you to keep your visits. You may want to purchase an apartment that has plenty of room for the children and you may want to set up with rooms so that when they come to your place they can be entertained and comfortable. When you move you, take everything that you would like with you. You should take any personal things like your clothes and jewelry. You should also inventory everything that you take so that it can't come back as stealing. If you take it out right away, the law will see it as yours. Depending on what it is and the value of it (money or personal) you may be able to keep it or you may have to be ordered to give it back. But, if you would like it, please take it with you, because you never know what they may do to your things. Also, don't be greedy; leave most of the furniture, unless it was in your den or private area. You should never clean the house out, regardless of who owned what. It will look bad in court, plus you don't want the children to be disrupted. When you move out, don't go to the girlfriend/boyfriend's place. You want to show independence and it may be just what you need. If you cannot afford a place on your own, you should move in with a friend or family member. You should not' move back to the parents because you never know what dirt the lawyer can dig up about your family when it comes to custody of the children. Also, make sure that this other person would have no personal interaction with you so they can't say that you are dating each other. Moving in with a close friend or cousin will make the rent easier to be paid and you won't be completely alone. You will have someone to stay with that will support you. Once you are settled in your new place you can gradually begin to build a new life. Go out, meet new people, have fun. Just don't do anything that would make you look bad if someone brought it up in court. This way you can move on with your life, but you don't mess up a good beginning. If there aren't children involved you may even want to move out of state if your family is located somewhere else. This way you can have family around you be able to move on. Divorce, find a new job, and move on in life There is a great life that lies head after divorce. You will be able to move on with your life. You can get up and move to a new place and start a completely new life. Some people will do just that. They will change jobs, they will refinance, and they will begin to date again. Just because the divorce is done and is final, this doesn't mean that you have gone through all the steps. You still have to pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's hard for many to move on because they have spent so much time with that person and it can be hard to break up someone who doesn't want to. There are a lot of feelings that you will go through, however you will find that there is a lot of hope that lies in the bounds of the aftermath. After the divorce you have refinanced and everything is done and over. You don't have a mortgage, you may not have a car payment, you may not have anything to your name. This is a great opportunity to relocate. You don't have to go to another state, but even another county would be a huge change for you. You will have to find a way to get back in the game. The first step to rebuilding after moving is to find a new job. You may want to find a job that allows you to work more because now you don't have to worry about sharing your time with your wife, or you may decide that you don't need a high paying job anymore because you don't the bills or family to support. You can adjust to your new living by going up or standing back from employment. You can purchase a new home and start there, or you can just not make any commitments and rent. Your like is completely up to you. It may be a long way to come back once you have been knocked down by a divorce. You may have to start from nothing. You will have new views, new goals, a new life. You can leave everything behind or you can build yourself back up. Some people just find it easier to leave everything than truly deal with anything. It is a hassle to go through a divorce and the alimony can make you need to get another job. You will find that there are so many things in a divorce that can cause you to take up drinking, but then there are so many more things that you can do to make things better. You can make things better by going for an important job that you didn't want to take because of your family. You have nothing holding you back. You can re-do everything your way. You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. You are completely independent. That is one good thing about divorce. It can also be scary. If you feel like you can't stand on your own, you can ease your way into being independent. You can move in with some friends, you can take a less demanding job, you can purchase a lease for an apartment, whether than purchase a home. You don't have to make any commitments to anything. Once you feel like you can get back in the game you can begin to make commitments like buying a house, or asking someone on a date. It's a slow progression back. Once you have relocated you can spend your time like you wish and you can change anything in your life. You should try to be independent because you will make the progression back quickly. You can be okay sooner than later. How to rebuild your life, find a new hobby Moving on is very important when it comes to rebuilding your life after divorce. You will be out of it for a while, but you will find that you can rebuild yourself and learn from your mistakes. It is hard to part from someone who once was a part of who you where, but you will find that you can move on and find new things in your life to bring you joy and happiness. You can find a new hobby at your church, within your community, or within your home. After you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will begin to want to find other things to fill your hours. If you are the type of person who like to be alone, you should find new things to learn that you can do by yourself. Take an art class at the local community college. Learn how to sculpt or do pottery. You can also learn how to write. You can write a story or article about your life to describe what you are going through. You may find that your hobby could turn into something that you can pursue as a career. You will be able to spend the hours productively than sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream. Some women will take up a hobby that gets them back into interacting with others. You may want to join a local pool or bowling league. You may go to the community center and join a card game once a week. If you really want to get back into the interaction, you should take dance lessons. Learn how to ballroom or to do some jazz. Then you will be able to learn something and find something new to enjoy. You don't have to go alone, you can take a brother or cousin or dear friend to be your partner. It will be something new to experience. If dancing doesn't sound like a good hobby, you can take up a local job of something that you already know. If you were really good at a sport, you may want to become an assistant coach or coach of a local high school team or college team. You can start up a new chapter of AYSO or some other thing. You can also do some community service to fill your hours. You can do things like feed the poor; raise money for your church or community, or other services that are needed. Anything that you can shift your attention to will be a great thing. You will be able to let go of all the hurt and pain and focus on something positive. Even if you would like to increase your reading or do a 25,000-piece puzzle, do anything that will stimulate your mind and allow you to adjust your focus. When you find a hobby or something to focus your attention on you have less of a chance of focusing on the negative or starting bad habits like drinking or smoking. You will be able to find a positive release. You can take many things, many classes, at local colleges that you can do with a friend. You can learn how to cook, paint, write, or anything else that will stimulate your creativity. Just remember that you need to find something that interests you and that is convenient. You can also find hobbies around the house too. You can go antiquing with a friend or you can remodel or redecorate the entire hours to your likening. Again, anything that will get you to focus on the positive outlooks on life. Divorce, how to deal with money issues You need to find ways to save money during the divorce so you don't end up going into debt or needing a second job. When your marriage is over, the last thing on your mind should be your money, but it usually is. You have to learn ways to protect yourself so that you have money to live on through the divorce and after the divorce. You will find yourself angry and confused after you have announced your split, but you shouldn't feel overwhelmed about the money you may lose. Many people find out the hard way what divorce really means, and it usually means they leave you with half your stuff. First, you should never get married without a prenup. If you don't have the prenup, you will be in so much water when the divorce comes. You don't need a prenup just if your rich, you need a prenup regardless off your assets. When it comes to your finances, why on earth take any chances of losing good, hard-earned money? Secondly, you need to know your finances throughout the marriage. You need to know where at least 80% of the money, if not all the money, goes. You need to know your wealth. You wealth is your assets minus your debts. If you have $10,000 in the bank, and you have a total of $50,000 (which is a combination of credit cards, mortgages, car payments, and other things that you may owe on), then you have $40,000 worth of debt, you're wealth is nothing. However, if you own you own home and paid $40,000 for it, and have a couple thousand on credit and a couple grand left on a car payment, you have a lot of wealth that needs to be protected. Even if you have debt, you want to make sure that you don't get stuck with it by protecting yourself with a clause in your prenup. As for refinancing during the divorce, anything that the other person wants, make sure you take your name off the deed. If your cars are in both names, get the name taken off just so if they fall behind in payments, you don't have to worry about your credit being ruined. Usually, the house has to be sold and divided so you shouldn't have to do anything about your name on the deed. However, they can buy you out and then you will need to get your name off the deed and the mortgage. To really know your finances you should get your credit report. Many credit vendors like credit card companies and credit lenders will let you know what your credit is for free. However, there is a $15 fee to know if you get it from a credit report company. You should also open your own bank accounts and always keep your money separate. This way you know what is yours and what is theirs. You will also want to keep your credit cards separate as well. This way you can keep your debt separate too. When going through the divorce you will want to think about cutting them off your health benefits at work. This way you can save money, plus get them off your benefits completely. You will want to change beneficiaries of any policies that you may have with your mate as the beneficiary. If you took his name, you can file paper work to regain your maiden name, however, it is costly; you may want to save this for later. You will also want to talk to your lawyer about the house. The house should, by rights, sell and the proceeds divided up. Can one spouse prevent a divorce from happening? If one person does not want to get a divorce, but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce, then the spouse cannot stop the divorce. This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce. A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide. There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may also be a choice for some situations. If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce, the spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action. This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court. Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage. One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he is alone with his mistress. This is known as a set up and it is an argument that one can make in court to defend their actions. Provocation is the inciting of a spouse to do a certain act. If a spouse is suing for divorce and claims that the other spouse abandoned them, the other spouse might defend their suit because they were provoked by the abandonment. Collusion is if a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a time and the couple doe not want to prolong the situation. This may lead the couple to mislead the court and pretend that one of them was at fault just to get out of the marriage. These above defenses are not usually used for a few different reasons. Proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense. Your efforts will usually bring nothing to the situation. Chances are that a court will eventually grant the divorce. A person should not have to stay married if they do not wish too. The law is designed to give people the opportunity to get out of the marriage if that is what he or she really wants to do. If you are involved in a marriage that you don't want to be in any longer, the process can be hard to get through, but you can make a divorce really happen, and put an end to the marriage. Divorce, rebuilding your life, avoid sex with the ex Divorce is something that no one wants to face. It is a hard situation that many people have to find the strength to get through. Sometimes there are hard feelings between the two couples and sometimes the couple will still get along very well. It is hard to tell what is going to happen and sometimes you just have to see how it goes. The ball is in your court and you need to make the best choices that you can. One thing is for sure; once you are divorced, you do not need to be having an intimate with your ex. This is not something that is wise because of the issues that will come along with it. You want to break your ties so that you are free and able to move on easily to better and bigger things. You will want to remain friendly with your ex. This is for obvious reasons. When things go a lot smoother, you will find it to be a lot easier to get things accomplished. You really can kill them with kindness however you do not want to be so kind that you are jeopardizing your health and well being for any reason. You do not want to get involved with the complicity of having sex with your ex when you are trying to rebuild your life and make something better for your future. When you are trying to rebuild your life, you want to do the right things. You need to make the right choices for you and you family so that you are not putting anyone's well being at risk. This will also include your ex. When you are still carrying on an intimate relationship with your ex partner, you will find that you may be setting either one of you up for a very big fall. This is not something that you should be doing at this stage of the game. A divorce is something that can be very complicated and when you are combining sex with your ex, you are only making the situation more complicated. You need to make sure that you are severing these ties and making it very clear that you are not interested in this part of your life anymore. You need to of course make sure of this before you file for divorce but having a physical relationship is not the only thing that matters with a marriage. You need to have all the factors there so that you can have a successful relationship that works for both of you. There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You do not want to have to deal with too much when you already have so much on your plate. You want to be careful and make the wise decisions that you know you can make. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life. There is so much life out there and when you are divorced, you are able to take it all on. You should not be holding on to the past even if it is comforting at the time. You want to get out there are find out who you are and what your goals and dreams are in life. This is the only way that you can make your new life a huge success. This is going to be worth the self-control that you have when it comes to refraining from having sex with your ex.
InfoBank Intro | Main Page | Usenet Forums | Search The RockSite/The Web