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Retirement Gifts

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Why You Should Give a Retirement Gift

Whether you knew the future retiree in passing or know him/her over random
coffee conversations, it is often appropriate to give one a retirement gift. It
is a wonderful gesture which will be appreciated all the more if the giver and
retiree did not spend significant time together. It also helps when giving a
retirement gift improves one's image in the company (wink, wink).

But there are more reasons why you should give gift to future retirees, let us
look at some of them:

Improve Connections

Going to a retirement party is one of the most opportune times to improve one's
connections, especially if both you and the retiree are handling businesses. The
latter has spent years in this respective industry, gaining respect along the
way and of course, has built a good set of personal contacts along the way. In
his final day of work, it is sure that most of the important people in his
contact list will be there.

Gaining an invitation to the party, and giving a gift will secure one that
other people recognize him too as an important person in the retiree's life and
may give one a better chance of meeting new and probably helpful people.

Parties are the usual venue to meet and interact with new people; so don not
worry about awkward situations and pauses in between conversations because this
is the time where most people feel their best and have the natural inclination
to talk to other people. So go out there, smile, impress and meet new people!

Show Your Fun Side and Improve Your Stock

Typically, co-workers know each other based on project performances, sales
reports and contributions to the team. And after work, most people are reeling
from the daily grind and usually are not up for a good chat and a drink or two.
So when you're in a retirement party, show that your skills aren't limited in
the board room.

Think of gags, pranks and jokes that will woo future partners and admirers so
you will have that x-factor when the next interview comes along the way. Show
that you're not merely a mechanical, droll and ironically efficient bureaucrat.
Branch out, make some new friends and show your confident and funny side.

It is important to present your other side so they would know that you're the
kind of businessperson who knows how to balance his priorities and still have
fun. That kind of combination will win you future investors if ever you will
venture into the topsy-turvy world of entrepreneurship.


There are tons of unintended opportunities when you simply give a retirement
gift. Connections will be built and your reputation will likely improve. Just
let your hair down in one of these parties and show that you resume isn't
limited to leadership and creative skills. Show your fun side and let them bask
in your confidence and potential.

But also, do not forget about the importance of your gift. It has to be in line
with his personality and interests. Classic examples are monogrammed golf sets
and autographed basketballs. Whatever your gift, make sure it fulfills the
basic requirements of a good retirement present and you'll be ready to impress
people and get opportunities in retirement parties.

Where To Find Retirement Gifts

The Ask, The Task

The problem and the hassle of finding the right retirement gift haunt even the
most capable of gift givers. For one, gifts for the retiree have to be
appropriate. It also has to be timely and with meaning. It even gets more
complicated if the one who will be giving does not have any idea on what to
give in the first place. In addition to that, the place on where to get the
item also pose a problem as to instances when the supply or the item is out of
stock and nowhere to be found in the local neighborhood.

Actual Mall

The most common option for any retirement gift hunter is to head to the nearest
boutique, novelty store, or have them both in a mall. The local mall is perhaps
the most practical place to find stuff to be bought as retirement gifts. In a
good sized mall, merchandise as well as shops for customization may be found.
Furthermore, there is a good chance to find something worth buying as a
retirement gift here due to the rate of merchants and sellers to actually sell
their wares here because of the high volume of potential buyers.

Another good thing about a mall is that one gets to have the convenience of
walking around the well ventilated and air conditioned construct. Also, the
mall is a secure place to wander about without worrying about bad elements.

Though a bazaar is also a good place to find for gifts, the inconvenience of
shopping in an open setting and hotter environment may be of concern.

Virtual Mall

With the modern technological advancement in telecommunications and processing,
browsing and windows shopping has been made possible with the internet. One may
conveniently browse the different items that are available online without
having to leave the house. Anyone can now go online and seek for any item that
may have been conceived by anyone and marketed commercially and virtually.

This method of browsing and shopping online is a good alternative than manually
wasting time driving to the mall and getting caught up in the long line at the
atm machine, only to find out that the machine has just gone offline. Even if
you have credit cards to use in the actual mall, these same pieces of plastic
cards may be used in online transactions should you finally decide on what to
get as a retirement gift.

Just be wary of keeping your credit card details secure by checking the
credibility of the online store. Otherwise, you may end up throwing away good
money for a non existent retirement gift.

Get Lost, Find More

For those who have all the time in the world to go out and explore what the
world has to offer as exotic and unique gifts which may be customized and be
made personal, one unorthodox method of finding gifts would be to just get lost
in a neighboring town or city and check their wares there. Who knows what item
you may stumble upon and find it interesting enough to give as a retirement
gift. Furthermore, you may find some other useful stuff for yourself too.

The secret to find retirement gifts is a combination of luck, time, and a well
placed order on something which you have set your eyes upon.

Types of Retirement Gifts

The working person would sooner or later have to step down on the given task
that he or she has been accustomed to. The work that has evolved into a job and
eventually blossomed into a career became a part of the working person's
lifestyle. Definitely, when that fateful day of ceasing the intended work
arrives, the person would at least want to have something memorable to take
home and be a reminder of all the years that passed. Retirement gifts would be
the perfect thing to have. This would definitely be more than just money's


There are many types of retirement gifts which reflect the manner of career the
retiring person has experienced. These are then categorized in different manners
according to the characteristic of its presentation.

A way to categorize retirement gifts is the industry from which the retiree
came from.

May it be bad or good, the affinity of a retirement gift would be much more
valuable if the gift itself is a manifestation of the work that was rendered
service. For example, retiring army personnel would probably want to keep
something which is related to the army. A doctor who is about to formally end
his practice in the medical profession would most likely want to have a
recognition party or perhaps a medically related thing with his name engraved
on it to let everyone know that he was once part of the medical practice

A retirement gift comes in two categories: A thing or something non tangible.
The former may be a memento, memorabilia, plaque of recognition, trophy, or any
other thing which may be kept and be shown to others to signify and indicate the
retiree's service to a specific business endeavor. The latter is more of a one
time event, but still eternal nonetheless such as a commemorative party,
celebration or public salutation to let everyone know of the finished task. A
combination of both would actually be better to fully complete the
acknowledgement of a person's service and thus would make that person feel at

Retirement gifts could also be categorized either as commercial or personal.
Most would probably think that a personally created retirement gift would be
more memorable and valuable, but a commercially acquired or created retirement
gift would also hold the same amount of sentimental value to the retiree. In
this case, commercial retirement gift such as pre-set parties or merchandise
like a watch or the like could be imparted with the same amount of value by
engraving the identity of the retiree onto it. The manner of "personalizing" a
retirement gift transforms a commercially created gift into a personal one.

The Value

Retirement gifts should not be expensive though as the value is not equated to
the amount of money that was spent in allowing it to manifest. The important
thing in giving out retirement gifts is the amount of love and care that was
put into getting it. Even if it would just be a small token or a simple party,
the manner of how it would be presented is much more heartfelt.

Besides, the retirement gift's effect on the retiree's self esteem will not end
after the actual presentation. As long as the retirement gift is remembered, all
the work experience and the value to which it was done throughout the years will
keep the retiree summoned up and eternally reminisced.

Empathize With The Retiree: Find The Perfect Retirement Gift

Every working man and woman loves to discuss with friends what they will do
after they retire. Climb the Swiss Alps, go in an African Safari or hit that
perfect stroke in the fairway. The list is endless, and it depends with each

But when they finally do hit retirement, a bittersweet feeling rather than an
excited one will prevail. One may find the feeling of freedom in expense of a
family in work that you have shared both sweet and tough times together.
Questions will pop up if too much freedom is actually harmful, and if their old
partners and coworkers would even talk to them again.

It is important that one gives an exceptional retirement gift to help them cope
up with a new stage in life, which should be welcomed with open arms rather than
doubt. A keepsake that helps the retiree remember what he/she has stood for or
loved for the past three decades.


A crucial first step in finding the perfect retirement gift is to recognize
what their personality traits and interests are. Finding out what ticks off or
pleases the retiree is important as much as focusing on their interests.

For example, a person who loves hockey and relishes on eating desserts may be
given a simple chiffon cake with icing that forms a hockey stick and puck. So
to speak, it is best that when choosing a gift, ideas should be formed from a
blend that represents the retiree's persona and likes.

Second is that one should watch their budget. Finding a gift that is expensive
isn't necessary. For the childish retiree, something as simple as a Mickey
Mouse watch will suffice; it also helps form smiles and laughter across the
room. Videos that highlight a retiree's favorite sports player in his/her most
important moment, where the player either hits the game-winning shot in a
basketball game or an unbelievable shot in the Masters is also a non-expensive
and wonderful gift for the retiree.

For acquaintances in the company, an autograph book can be done. Each worker
will put his/her signature with a heartfelt message or testimonial can help the
retiree get some closure. If one day, the retiree is beginning to miss his/her
job. He/she can skim through the autograph book and remember everything about
in a few minutes.

Third, if one has pockets deep enough, fun and lighthearted pranks can be made.
Funny retirement gags like a plaque commemorating the retirement, with
inscriptions similar to the ones we see on buildings which speak about the
"retiree's inauguration". One may even sprinkle holy water on the retiree for
added affect. It is a general rule that anyone remembers a funny gag more than
a thoughtful item, so pull one off in the party if you can.


Magazine subscriptions, funny pranks and personalized gifts are integral in
giving the most meaningful retirement present. A little research (and maybe
some stalking, haha) can help one find a gift that suits the retiree. If one
can't think of anything, but does know that the retiree loves a good laugh, go
ahead and make up gags or create items like a stone slab, pretending to think
that the retiree is dead or a purple wig to hide the balding head.

Whatever one can think of, make sure that it is something that the retiree will
appreciate and remember for years to come.

Find the Perfect Retirement Gift for Him

Unlike women, who prefer lifetime membership at spas or having a ticket in a
trip across the world, men simply have different tastes when it comes to
retirement gifts. Unlike the opposite sex, who wants to be pampered and to be
bathed by luxury, men simply want something that affirms their virility.

They want nothing more than to be a young and energetic young man again, where
they can play sports all day and eat anything they want without thinking of the
health risks associated with it. So to speak, a good retirement gift must make
them almost relive those moments.


When it comes to sports, nothing says "still playable by old people" other than
the century-old sport, golf. So gifts like personalized golf sets (if he's left
handed, give a customized golf set for left-handed men), monogrammed golf balls
and gloves are perfect gifts not only to encourage him to be active once again,
it also helps when it contributes to his declining health.

If golf sets are a tad too expensive, you may opt for squash or tennis racquets
along with customized polo shirts with the family logo (if they have one). What
is important is that you rekindle the sports loving gent inside of him. These
kind of gifts always work -- has anyone heard of a man who doesn't watch ESPN
or isn't addicted to Monday night Football or Friday night Basketball?

A good alternative to sports-related gifts are expensive alcohol. The brands
don't have to be too extravagant. A huge bottle of J&B or the commonplace Blue
Label Johnnie Walker may suffice. It is always good to let him remember the
good old times in the bar where he and his friends can do no better than drink
the night away. But giving these kinds of gifts doesn't mean you're promoting
that again, most men have a wine or alcohol collection stored away in a
cabinet, or for the true aficionado, cabinets.

Or it could be as simple as planning a retirement/"bachelor" party for him,
where he could simply have a good time with friends, chatting and drinking the
night away and enjoying their other company at the gentlemen's club.

No matter what your gift may be, make sure that is true to the fact that it'll
make the retiree feel as young as possible.


With these general guidelines, it doesn't necessarily mean that one should
forsake personalized gifts. One should always take into account the personality
and interests of the retiree. If he loves to read about current events and blogs
about it in the internet, then probably a lifetime subscription to The Economist
or The Wall Street Journal will be a perfect fit for him. One mustn't forget
that very important and universal rule: suit the gift to his tastes.


Making retirees forget about everything about their age and the limitations
that come with it must the premise behind your gift-giving decisions to these
retirees. Once you find the perfect blend wherein you mix sports, leisure and
fun, then rest assured that you have found the best gift possible for him.

If that cannot be achieved, then simply follow a rule that has stood the test
of time: discover his interest, and give a gift related to that. In the end,
it's all about knowing what the person wants and giving it to him.

Retirement Gift Ideas for Women

Most working women look forward to this day, when their superhuman endeavors
come to a close. Days of juggling both work and being a good mother takes a
toll on them. And most sons and daughters will always look up to them and
wonder: "how in the world did they make it through?" With that said, a
retirement gift should be in place for them. Something that rewards all the
decades of hard work and it should be with that hint of sentimentality that
makes it utterly priceless.


When it comes to gifts, women, of course, want something different from what
men receive. They're not into sports since it usually disrupts their delicate
yet valuable nature. They want to be pampered rather then beaten up, so to

A gift that fulfills this basic requirement is a yearlong membership to a spa.
Those mesmerizing foot massages and that wonderful and endless feeling of bliss
can already make the retiree jump for joy. Another is a gift basket. Let her
rekindle her love affair with food and baking with's
selections that only feature the best quality apples, almonds, pears and a host
of other fruits that sell for merely $90. You may also opt for their coffee
basket that has two kinds of creamers, stir spoons and it also has tea cookies
and bonbons.

You can also opt for the universal weakness of women: chocolate. In the
internet, offers personalized mahogany boxes which you may engrave
with anything you want and of course, has wonderful Swiss chocolates which may
be handcrafted into anything that seems appropriate (the retiree's favorite
flower, perhaps?)

If you want the retiree to feel truly pampered, you may give her a roundtrip
ticket across the world, letting her experience the rich cultures of other
nations while staying in one of the most luxurious hotels in the world. And
don't forget the shopping opportunities!

One may also opt for jewelry, but that's probably the most uninspired gift one
could give, right?

Don't Forget the Children

But a woman cannot fully embrace retirement if there is no assurance if her
children's financial future isn't secure. As a son or daughter, make sure you
bring that off her back because nothing worries a mother more than her children
having a tough time. So, you may give all the wonderful things for her but don't
forget that your happiness is what she keeps thinking about. Make sure that
you're already having the time of your life and there's simply nothing for her
to worry about.


Unlike men, there are more gifts one can think of to make the woman retiree as
pleased as possible. It all hinges on one theme: pamper her and make her feel
privileged. Douse her with luxury; offer her only the best. These are the
things one must keep in mind when giving a retirement gift for a woman.

One must remember that the feeling of love and privilege is the dream of every
supermom. So when retirement finally comes for her, when all the sacrifices she
did for her children and all the hard work she has done to secure the family's
finances, it should be a time when she begins to embrace and taste the best
life can give.

There are tons of options you can take. You may give a ticket to the world or a
lifetime membership to a spa. Whatever it is, make sure it takes her giggle like
an innocent little girl once again.

Give Yourself the Perfect Retirement Gift

From day one, everyone looks forward to retirement, that day where they can
finally let go of the stresses of the daily grind and spend their leisurely
days traveling, reading and basically having fun. As compared to previous
generations, we have longer life spans so we all expect our golden years to be
fulfilling and rewarding.

Instead of waiting for people to help you plan your retirement, you should do
it yourself. Although retirement planning is probably one of the most draining
activities where one spends loads of time perusing over financial and brokerage
statements, benefits brochures and insurance policies. One does this in terms of
the benefits of long term planning: if one retires earlier, he/she will think
and anticipate less on government-funded plans which only gives a pittance of a
pension and focus more on the beauty of life.

Why Retirement Planning is Necessary

Obviously, retirement planning isn't all about numerous hours of stress by
chugging down numbers and analyzing mutual funds: it's about fixing and
deciding how you will live the final years of your life. If one can balance
financially and plan fully on a retirement plan, rest assured that your future
is secure.

But remember that retirement planning isn't a singular activity. It is
something that stretches forth to decades, spanning your 30s, 40s and 50s. In
every decade, one must rethink their strategies since you are inching closer
and closer to retirement, thus one must forgo risky investments and go to bonds
and reliable mutual funds as the years pass by.

Build the Right Retirement Plan

A retirement plan must be suited to your risk tolerance and apparent need for
cash when retirement comes. If you prefer a general 401(k) that has a good
balance of everything, you may go for equal amounts of low-risk bonds and
riskier stocks or you may also opt for an assortment of mutual funds that both
have high-risk and low-risk funds.

Generally, risk tolerance is congruent to one's age. If you are on your 20s or
early 30s, you may opt for a more stock-saturated mutual fund in the hope of
getting a good return because of the added risk stocks give. If ever the worst
comes and you face some declines in the stock market, you still have a good 20
to 30 years to compensate for the losses.

On the other hand, if one is teetering on the 40s or 50s, it is necessary that
one must go low-risk in his/her investments. One's mutual funds must now be
concentrated more on low-risk government bonds, which virtually assure no
losses and minimum gain, if there will be no huge political crisis, of course.

If one follows this general age/risk rule, then one has better chance that one
has an ample amount of cash to spend on the pleasures of life when retirement
age finally comes.


One has always dreamt of traveling the world, playing golf all day and enjoying
the best life can give. But one cannot do all that while working away in the
office. Therefore one must give importance to the rising necessity of building
a retirement plan.

It is probably as stressful as work itself, but if you can carry all that heap
of information and mix it into the delicacy that is a finely tailored
retirement plan, then rest assured that your dream of tasting and relishing the
best of life is definitely reachable by 65.

Bang! Retirement Gifts For A Police Officer

More Than Just A Badge

Retirements gifts for a police officer may more difficult to plan than you
think. Well, first of all, the police officer has already taken pride in his
field of work, being recognized as an upholder of the law, engaging in
apprehending the troublemakers, and having a fair share of action if they get
really lucky (or unfortunately perhaps).

For a police officer who is about to formally end his active duty and leave the
force, there is no better way to make the retiree proud by giving him
recognition and acknowledgement for his loyalty and service. Furthermore,
letting everyone else know of his significant participation in keeping the
society safe is the icing on top of any retirement gifts that may be given to
him. As for the itemized part of such a retirement gift for a police officer,
there are several ideas which may help one out in planning for a surprise.

A Service Firearm Beyond Duty

Usually the safest bet to think about as a retirement gift would have to be
anything that is near or related to what he had in his environment during
active service. One such item would have to be a service firearm. Definitely,
the old service pistol or rifle that was issued to the retiree police officer
would have to be surrendered back to the precinct along with the badge and
other police things.

Most probably, the retiree will be missing his service pistol and might want to
have something as close to his heart beyond active duty. Make sure that the
retiree has a permit to have a firearm in possession, which most likely is
already acquired. In relation to this, a good box of bullets would be an added
plus to a retirement gift. It would definitely be better if the bullets would
be customized as to having the officer's name engraved on each bullet. Now,
wouldn't that be lovely and radical?

If the retiring officer has a privately owned firearm, a good way to add up to
the arsenal would be a holster, in full leather, and with some minor
customization to it such as a personal tag for identification, or slips for
extra bullets for reloading as well.

On The Lighter Side

For added fun or gag, one could give a gift with a twist. Instead of the usual
real-deal firearm, one may give him a personalized airsoft gun or rifle and
full battle gear. This would allow the retiree officer to have some fun and
enjoyment engaging in non-lethal gunfights with other enthusiasts of airsoft.

Furthermore, the retiree officer would be able to have a knack and feel on
letting loose a good barrage of pellets as bullets without having to worry much
about the safety and lives of those who he plays with. He may casually just fire
upon the "enemies" and get shot as well but without the blood and casualties
which usually accompany these types of engagements had these been in the real

Retirement gifts for a police officer may allow him to continue his passion of
bearing the power and authority beyond his active duty, that without much
complications of encountering bad elements in the society as a career.
Remember, guns were the way to his heart for joining the force, let him
continue enjoying them even afterwards.

The Benefits Of the Corporate World: Corporate Retirement Gifts

The Moment Of It All

Reaching a good age for retiring, an employee may he be of the common position
or a higher management type of position would want to have something glamorous
and worthy of safekeeping after his years of service with a corporation. Even
before being assimilated into a corporation, the employee has been constantly
acquiring gifts, rewards and benefits during certain years of rendered service
or perhaps when the personnel has contributed something significant to the
company's growth and stature.

One of the benefits which are given to any deserving employee at the end of his
career is a hefty lump of cash from the different policies such as retirement,
back tax, and other similar benefits. Another is a memento which signifies the
person's affiliation with the company which gives prestige and honor.

Looking at a corporation as a big family of colleagues, each with an assigned
task and designation to fully implement the tasks to efficiently keep the
company's mode of operations at optimum, the retiree would want to have
something he is able to feel proud of and be shown to others.

What Not

Of course it wouldn't be wise to give the retiree something that would be
anything like the things he had during service that would suggest more work to
be delegated. Some of these things may be referred to as a desk, a work chair,
or a filing desk. Even if these are customized and made of the most expensive
materials, it would not be that practical and wise since what you would want
the retiree to feel is that he is now rewarded with a big sum of cash to spend
on pure leisure and enjoyment. Well, unless these not-to items are to be given
as prank gifts, then a good suggestion would be to refrain from it altogether.

Say It In Crystal

Corporate gifts usually would be best characterized in pristine and glamorous
pieces of memorabilia. A good material to use is crystal. Crystal has been used
ever since as a form of luxury and finesse.

A good idea to have is to present a corporate retirement gift in a crystal
dining set, which would allow the retiree to dine in style with his loved ones,
especially now that he will be spending most of the time with his beloved family.

Another crystal idea is to present a replica of the building as a form of
figurine which would show the glamour and the majesty of the structure that the
employee has rendered his skills and talent over the decades. Of course, one has
to consider first if the real model of the building itself shows majesty and

A safe idea would be to present the corporate retiree with crystal chess set,
complete with personalized and handcrafted chess pieces. This would spark the
royal thinking and strategic mind of the retiree even after he is off with
battling stocks and corporate deals and assignments.

Say It In Brass

Other than crystal, a retiring employee may also want to be presented with
items in brass. These brass items would be in the form of jewelry such as a
company ring, or cufflinks which may be used in formal gatherings to add to the
added formal recognition and affiliation with the company.

Whatever the preference of the retiree may be, corporate retirement gifts speak
only of one thing: affiliation.

Retirement Gifts For Golfers

There is a common notion that golf is a common past time and sport of big shot
entrepreneurs and businessmen. It also has a notion of being an exclusively
elite sport, and not accessible by regular blue collared employees. However,
this is not the real case as modernization and commercialization has brought
these so called elite sports into the hands of the common worker.

This is because there need not be a sophisticated equipment to be acquired to
make this happen. Unlike big game fishing and polo which needs a lot of
resources to acquire a boat and a horse respectively, golfers just require a
set of golf clubs, which are affordable. With this in mind, retirement gifts
for golfers and aspiring ones are easier thought of.


Making retirement gifts in relation to golf personal is quite an easy task as
you could easily accessorize the golfing equipment with items such as home made
golf club pouches, and caddy covers. These can be crafted by knitting (that is
if you are into knitting) or any similar craftsmanship requiring different

Another idea is to tap into the fashion aspect of golfing which is to focus on
the things worn by a golfer. You may even start setting a new trend in golfing
apparel just by a good imagination and a timely combination of clothing design
for your retiree.

The Usual

The most common and usual method of getting a retirement gift for golfers is to
hop on to the nearest sports shop and get your retiree the things sold there. It
may sound a little impersonal to just get the retiree a commercially sold gift
but then this may prove really useful if the retiree is still starting to
become a golfer. Definitely you would want to get him a golf club set first of
all as this is the basic requirement to be able to play golf.

Furthermore, you may find what other things and accessories your retiree golfer
may still need, and perhaps also contribute to your imaginative side on what
things can be made to enhance the golfing equipment he may already have.

The commercially made golfing equipment is also a safe bet to acquire if you
would want to make your retiree feel good and professional by having a named
set of clubs, making him like a pro.

Gagged and Loaded

The fun part of choosing to give a gag gift instead is the novelty of such
items to be created out of it. It also adds up to the lighter side of playing
golf, have the golfer catch a few smirks and funny side comments from
colleagues as they too are influenced and humored.

The gag gifts should be taken quite carefully as it may be a sensitive matter
for some, especially those who are still starting out as newbie players. Gags
as gifts in relation to golfing might be negatively taken and discourage or at
least hinder their learning and progress as they are disturbed by the idea
emphasized by the gag or joke given to them.

As for the veteran players who are already well adapted to the game, placement
of a good gag gift on their retirement day would be quite lightening on their
part as they would see golfing not necessarily as a way to relieve stress but
to actually just have some fun and perhaps a little competition to whet the
winning urge of an individual.

Retirement gifts for golfers are just a simple way to make your golfer friend
enjoy life after career.

Funny Home Made Retirement Gifts For Laughs

Home Made Is Economical

On the process of choosing what gift to give on a retiree's special day, you
may have finally decided to give him something that you think is quite special
in a way that you are the one who is going to make it. You may be thinking that
by making such a funny home made retirement gift, you would be able to bring a
little bit of laughter to the ideally sad retirement event and at the same time
save yourself a bit of cash. You may also put the idea of home made in a
perspective of a utilitarian and consider the act itself as geared toward the
greater good, which is in this context both of you for benefiting.

Home Made Is Personal

What is good about a retirement gift as being home made is that it becomes more
personal than anything bought off the common marketplace or online. Having to
create a personal work of progress shows more value and effort put into such a
retirement gift. For a recipient who values the aesthetic value as well as the
sentimental value of things, he will be able to appreciate a home made
retirement gift more than those which were commercially made. Having a
retirement gift as personally crafted also becomes an expression of the giver's
concern and love for the creation of the item itself. With an added concept of
being laced with humor, a funny home made retirement gift becomes an extension
of the creator's sense of humor itself.

Home Made Is Unique

For example, if the creator wishes to create a funny retirement gift such as a
knitted shirt with a slogan "RETIRING to bed tonight" to be given and worn by
the retiree during the retirement event would definitely catch a few chuckles
from the guests, perhaps even from the boss. By doing so, not only have you
advertised your sense of creativity and good nature to everyone else other than
the recipient of your gift, you also have made it known among them that you have
creativity and a sense of value for uniqueness.

Home Made Is Perfect For The Home

One distinguishing idea in creating a funny home made retirement gift is that
it is lighthearted in its own value since it wishes to bring out a smile with
the retiree and whoever gets to see the gift. Also bear in mind that whatever
you are going to create for the retiree, it has to adhere to the notion that
there wouldn't be any issues, especially sensitive ones which will be violated
because of an incorrectly placed joke or remark on the gift. A home made
retirement gift is safe to create with the idea that it would be for home use.

Home Made Is Priceless

Another good thing about a funny home made retirement gift is that its
uniqueness is its own value, which is definitely priceless. Like any work of
art, any retirement gift that has been hand crafted and given to another person
is similar to giving a part of the person to another as a parting gift and to be
part of the new person's life. The idea of giving a part of one's self to
another through self expression of concern, acknowledgement, and love makes not
just any retirement gift but any gift priceless.

Two things to bear in mind when giving funny home made retirement gifts: self
humor and creativity.

Fun Gifts For A Guy's Retirement Party

A guy undergoing a retirement will most probably be seeking for some sort of
adventure even after he has stepped down from the hustle and bustle of everyday
work. It is most typically associated with the testosterone that flows through a
man's system that put him in constant search for new things to conquer, and new
ideas to explore. Fun gifts for a guy's retirement party must catch the
interest of the retiree and inspires him to try out the new concept behind a
gift's purpose.

Relive The Puberty Days

During high school days, boys (as they are not yet fully pledged men by then)
had been engrossed in several things such as rock and roll, paintball or
airsoft, and the like. We will leave out girls in this concept as most of these
retires would already have a loving wife and kids to complete them.

Nevertheless, puberty days of these retirees have been lived out with much
enthusiasm and energy that these fun days of the past will definitely be missed
much unless someone brings back all those well remembered days. What better way
to do this but to reintroduce them as a retirement gift? This time, a retiree
will not have any trouble allocating time and effort to these activities since
they have no more obligations with work to stop them from focusing on these
leisure activities.

You may impart a gift such as an electric guitar for a retiree who has been
engaged in a school band during his childhood, or maybe a good airsoft rifle to
a retiree who has been an enthusiast of the said sport.

Boys Will Be Boys

Gifts for boys go even way beyond the puberty stage. This concerns a pastime of
the retiree when he was still a kid. Now that he is already free to do what he
wants without the unnecessary repercussions of clashing with work, he may
already start with hobbies that speak of the inner boy's heart in him. Such
gifts include collections of certain memorabilia, computer games and similar
electronic gadgets, and more collections of things.

You may start him off by giving him a starter set of an interest he had during
childhood such as figurines of collectible items like superheroes, even the
comic books of his favorites, a computer gaming console to whet his boyish
appetite for fun and relaxation, or perhaps remote controlled toys. As for the
latter, you may step up the notch a bit for such remote controlled toys by
upgrading the model into an airplane, helicopter, or a speedboat instead of the
usual car models he had during childhood.

Toys For The Big Boys

As for those who don't want to regress back to the past, a retrograde concept
would be another option. Though items in this category may be a little bit
expensive, these are long lasting and would justify the rewards that the
retiree should have acquired for spending time and effort throughout the years.

Toys for the big boys would be in the forms of vehicles and machineries such as
garage crafting equipment, or the ever popular automobile and motorbikes. The
macho image of a guy retiree would be manifested as he is presented with a
motorbike. Nothing beats to having one of these babies clipped under the legs
of a biker for that added tough guy look.

Furthermore, these toys for the big boys are just what these fellows need to
augment and amplify their ever present testosterone flowing in them. Fun gifts
for a guy's retirement party definitely would be fun if the gift sparks
anything that would speak of their being a man and living up to it.

Fishing for Fisherman Retirement Gifts

Fishing For Gifts

Fishing may be considered to be both a career and a hobby. For those working in
the fishing industry, the person could be the one managing such a fishing
company, or be out there in the sea hauling the fish as bountiful harvests. For
those just enjoying the thrill of fishing, the person could be a simple
small-time fisherman by the lake, river, or perhaps a big-game enthusiast and
goes out into the open sea to catch huge types such as Marlins or Swordfishes.

What ever the type of fishing endeavor a person engages in, retirement gifts
for the fisherman at heart is one of the most rewarding and memorable gifts to
be given.

Thinking about what to give to someone involved in fishing maybe harder to fish
than real ones. However, here are some guidelines on what type of items could
best fit as a good fisherman retirement gift.

For The Hobbyist

As mentioned, the fisherman who goes fishing as a hobby is not dedicated to
fishing for work or career. The retiree in this context has another career and
just fishes to relieve some of the work related stress, or pass time for
leisure. The personal preferences of the retiree should be taken into

For the hobbyist who likes to fish for freshwater fishes, he would be more
accustomed and affiliated with certain types of fish like freshwater trout,
bass, and the like. His equipment would also be customized to suit freshwater
fishing like a smaller rod, lighter grade for the string, accessories and much

A good way to know what to give a hobbyist fisherman on his retirement from
work is to check what seems to be lacking in his equipment. It doesn't hurt to
take a quick peek at his fishing gear, research some off the internet for
similar fishing equipment, and acquire it. A personal touch to add some
engravings of the retiree's name on the gift should definitely add more pizzazz
and value to a retirement gift. If you feel generous, a whole kit would even be
a blast.

For The Career Man

The professional fisherman acquires fishes in a different manner. The fishing
pole is not the primary utility of such a career man, but instead employs the
use of large fishing nets and boats to reel in fishes by the bulk. Usually, a
professional fisherman is doing his specialization in the middle of the sea
wherein, such equipments and resources are both available.

Thinking of a nice retirement gift to a professional fisherman may be flexibly
thought of as depending on the retiree's sentiments and preference. A good plan
to get as a retirement gift would be fishing memorabilia like a personalized
engraved cast model of the ship he has been riding in, or perhaps anything that
would memorialize his spent years in providing the needed fish for everyone.

Another is to provide a quick deviation from the saltwater fishing towards a
freshwater type of fishing. This new frontier in fishing would add some
curiosity and interest for the retiring fisherman and try out personalized
fishing in a freshwater environment. This variety in fishing is most probably
going to add some excitement and zeal.

In this manner, a fishing pole and fishing kit would be the most logical and
concrete retirement gift. Fisherman retirement gifts are given to maintain and
keep the passion of fishing even after a retiree has lessened his load for

Boss Retirement Gifts

Boss retirement gifts are quite hard to come by because of several reasons: one
is that there are not much bosses going around retiring (as compared to regular
employees who amount to a lot), two is that a boss would most probably retire
at a much later date because of the higher position and responsible laden job
they have, and finally, because you have already retired way before your boss
have (and got yourself a good retirement gift at that).

Still, if you are fortunate enough to experience a retirement event of a top
dog of your company, be quite honored to witness such a rare occasion, and be
quite anxious because of the relatively big pressure bestowed upon you and your

To Thank

The most common reason why you would be presenting your boss a retirement gift
is to thank him for the opportunity of working with him. In addition to this,
thanking him for the different work policies which you have benefited from, the
ups and downs of working with him and generally the whole working experience
which made you exist today is a good thing to consider.

Normally, what can be done as part of the retirement gift for your boss is to
have your company organize something big and grand like a party to commemorate
your boss' achievements throughout his career. This is a good way to start the
retirement proceedings as it would boost the morale of the outgoing boss and
also uplifts and instills a festive mood for others not because of the
retirement itself but because there is a party itself which everyone is

Go Get Some Brownie Points

The reason why you are going to get your boss something for his retirement is
not necessarily to suck up and hope to rub elbows with him to serve as a step
on the corporate ladder. For one, your boss is already going to retire and that
notion does not have any effect or bearing anymore on your current working

Though the topic is stated as getting on the good side of your boss, it is just
to show him your good natured disposition that you have indeed experienced a
fulfilling working environment while you were serving under him.

Also considering the idea of his influence of putting in a good word about you
to those top dogs still operating your company, you may have a better shot if
time calls for an opening in a higher position. Call it politics, but it is
different in a way that you just want put a little reminder in the memory of
those in the higher corporate hierarchy to remember your name.

Still, no amount of sucking up would justify a shot at a higher position. The
actual performance and evaluation in work still serves as a basis for your
possible promotion. Therefore, you got to be ready with a good and impressive
record as well.

Need Not Be Extravagant

Boss retirement gifts need not be extravagant as to go out of your way and
sacrifice what resources you may have just to impress your boss. As mentioned
earlier, it may be a simple but well organized farewell party, complete with
all the formalities and commemorative elements to further honor his
participation in the company's existence.

After all, your primary objective in giving a retirement gift is to show some
appreciation anyway.

Tours as Excellent Retirement Gifts

Imagine this: you find yourself sitting snugly in the back of a black cab in
London, winding towards an unknown location. And when do you get to that secret
workshop, the place where luxury watch-manufacturer Richemont is tweaking the
last bits of their famed watches which are worth tens of thousands of pounds,
each synthesized from the most exclusive and expensive materials available.

Secret tours like this are usually made for VIPs, but if you can stomach the
costs that come with it, then this can make one of the best retirement gifts
you can give.

Has anyone ever wondered how Dunhill cigarettes are blended or how Maserati
designs their vehicles? With the right connections and ample amount of moolah,
then one can get these once in a lifetime opportunities.

Why Expensive Tours?

Touring the secret workshops and factories of fabled brands like Omega and
Aston Martin is simply a wonderful trip to the halls of history and culture.
These brands always carry this certain regal quality to them, and getting to
know the men and women behind them and how they share the founder's vision and
emotions when creating these masterpieces are simply priceless.

Nothing astounds man more than the feeling of discovery and appreciation.
Witnessing how thousands of little pieces form together a luxurious watch that
is precise in it's telling of time and flirtatious in its aura is simply a
breath-taking experience. The fact that you know something that most people
don't know, where the feeling of exclusivity simply takes one over is simply
irreplaceable. Basically, it would make anyone feel privileged and special.
That is the feeling one will find in these tours, and nothing else can match up
to that.

Other Tours

If these kinds of tours are simply too hard on the bank account, then one can
opt for tours in the traditional sense: trips to the Alpine or a cross-country
odyssey in Europe. An example is the Tour de Mont Blanc, which a classic alpine
route and one of the world's most famed walks. It traverses the highest mountain
in Western Europe and it also passes through France, Italy and Switzerland, all
of which share the Mont Blanc Massif.

It isn't entirely demanding, involving mainly moderate hiking through alpine
villages and magnificent valleys. Not only that, one also has opportunity to
experience the culture of the place, savoring the best food and wines of the
region in commonplace alpine inns.

The treks last for about two weeks, starting from Geneva and ending in
Chamonix. This is the kind of tour that most people never venture in, and
giving a ticket to this trip will reawaken the adventurer in everyone, seeing
the sights and sounds of only the best in Europe while feeling literally the
breath of the world in the Alpines.


Whatever your choice for the perfect tour for the retiree, make sure it
astounds him/her while keeping your budget in check. Yes, retirement gifts must
be the best they possibly can, but it doesn't mean that you'll kill yourself for
their happiness. It may be as simple as a ticket to European countries, where
they can go to art galleries strategically placed in key cities.

There they can still appreciate the history humankind has built for himself.

Personally Made Unique Retirement Gifts

Make It Personal

Retirement gifts are part of a global tradition for the different industries to
acknowledge the service of any worker or personnel, a company official,
employee, or perhaps even a trustee. It is a way of showing a career person his
worth and acknowledging what he has done for the maintenance of the company. It
is also an added bonus for employees to work hard to be able to stay in the
company for a longer period of time.

Companies and colleagues alike give out retirement gifts as a final
commemoration of someone's work portfolio. Nevertheless, the kind of retirement
gifts is not limited by anything, but is instead flexible to be as unique as
possible. Unique retirement gifts are anything but personally made or crafted.

Uniqueness Equals Non Conformity

For one, uniqueness of such a retirement gift should be considered as not
commonly acquired in the commercial market, ordered from a third party
manufacturing agency, or given to any other retiree from previous and even
present retirement parties in an institution.

A unique retirement gift should be the first item of its kind in terms of tag,
item type, occurrence of being given, or award. Furthermore, being unique in
the simplest sense, the retirement gift should also exude some sort of
distinguished prestige for a specific accomplishment of service. This would not
only allow the retiree to personally claim that such a gift was meant for only
one, but also raise self esteem for the self as well as others as they work
hard to achieve such recognition.

In line with recognition, this is one of the most probable reasons for creating
a unique retirement gift. A personally crafted gift makes it gain an identity
that it has been crafted not by any commercial means but with the individual's
effort and passion in going through the trouble of making one.

Most probably, it may not be as extravagant as a car or a golf club, or
anything of that sort which would require such complex machinery and equipment
to create, but personally crafted unique retirement gifts could be anything,
given the proper resources. Ever wonder why limited-edition, and order-based
cars are so expensive and valuable? It is because these cars were crafted not
in the industrial assembly line but are custom built, which adds up to the
aesthetic and face value.

Personal Touch

What makes unique retirement gifts nicer and more valuable than any other
extravagant commercial gifts is the personal touch. Even a kid who has no idea
of such extravagance and complexity of creating lavish gifts or even acquiring
them could still create a simple gift, by his own means, and present it as a
retirement gift.

It never is limited by the sole occasion alone. Retirement gifts are classified
as such only because it speaks of an event of a worker that he is formally
stepping down from work. The gift's essence in itself is pure and simple in the
sense that it is a thing worth keeping. Nonetheless, unique retirement
gifts is a combination of a pure intention to acknowledge someone's work
service and the parting of something worth keeping.

Uniqueness is only limited by the imagination. Even still, once a person has
started to think of an idea of what to give a retiree by heart has already
started to imbibe a personal touch to the unique retirement gift.

Military Retirement Gifts: Ten-Hut!


Military tradition is based on several centuries of honor and discipline, and
has been imparted on each military personnel that has graced over the age-long
existence. Year after year, new batches of fresh graduates from military
academies begin a new frontier as soldiers. Each day as well, new veterans
formally step down from active duty and also begin a new frontier as
non-commissioned soldiers, living among civilians, enjoying a much more relaxed
stated of living.

In stepping down from the service that a veteran has endured and enjoyed, a
military retirement gift is going to be one of the best reminders of his life's
service to the protection of his state.

Retirement gifts could be generically crafted as mementos such as blankets,
pillows, mugs, plaques, guns, and maybe even watches and fountain pens, each
with a personalized engraving of the name, designation and rank of the retiree.
However, there is also the option of making the retirement gift more specific.
What make retirement gifts colorful in this career are the varied branches of
the armed forces.

Each specific armed forces branch has its own specialized brand of military
service and has its own way of distinguishing itself from the others. The type
of retirement gifts would also be different in each branch as it would denote
the uniqueness of that branch's military tradition.

The Different Branches

There are basically four basic fields for the armed forces such as the Marines,
Navy, Air Force, and the Army. These denote specific specializations for
Amphibious, Sea, Air, and Land operations. Within these, more specialized and
specific sub branches are made for a higher level of combat operations such as
Green Berets, Snipers, Rangers, Airborne, Navy SEALs, and the like. Each of
these categories boast its own identity as being the best among the best, and
each veteran coming from each of these fields would definitely want something
not less than what is best as they retire from active duty.

Retirement gifts for Navy retirees would have more of a Navy Feel to the
souvenir if the object or thing would be about Boats, Gunships, or any part
that would relate to these. The same goes for Air Force retirees, which would
most appropriately be related to airplanes, bombs, a propeller, or the like. As
for the ground forces, miniature scaled models of tanks, jeep, artillery, or
guns make up most of the given retirement gifts.

What makes all these different branches come together though is a common gift
given to all retiring personnel. This specific retirement gift not only holds
all the information on the identity of such a retiree but also is imbibed with
the honor and prestige of being in the armed forces itself known as a military

This ring may just be an ordinary flashy piece of jewelry worn by people, but
for the military, this is one of the most honor-distinguishing object other
than a medal and formal recognition. This not only makes as a perfect
retirement gift, but also a very valuable one in terms of being brought
anywhere with the retiree.

Military again is based on honor and discipline, and until such time that a
military man has already served his country, he would most definitely want to
continue his pride and prestige in being part of the military workforce, with a
military retirement gift such as a ring or a memorabilia.

Lighten Things Up With Retirement Jokes

Most people approach retirement in a gloomy countenance. They approach it as if
it is a surrender to the hands fate and debilitation of the body. So it is
important that one will help them realize that it is something to be accepted
since it is an inevitable stage in one's life. But how can one do that? It's
simple: poke fun at retirement.

Retirement jokes, like ones said on speeches are popular. Speeches tend to
become emotional that it hinges every one in the room in a state of gloom and
sympathy. But one can raise the bar in retirement jokes (without insulting the
retiree, of course).


In addition to talking about the wonderful moments the speaker has shared with
the retiree, he/she can add something that will lighten up the atmosphere. One
may give a stone slab, which has inscriptions on it, "in advance". Friends may
also joke and call the retiree "grandfather" whenever the latter tries to
reprimand the former in a conversation can also help lighten the mood. But
don't overdo it, of course.

Other gags that might be of interest is a wig with an unusual color like pink
or purple, a follow up item to the joke that he may need a wig in the future.
If he, in an inexplicable moment, declines it, say: "okay, then wear a paper
bag instead if you get bald". Always be ready whenever jokes don't succeed; so
keep those backup jokes ready!

Believe it or not, some service providers also write and sell personalized
retirement speeches with witty jokes after understanding the personality and
interests of the retiree. These companies usually add jokes about the retiree's

If one cannot find enough retirement jokes, a little visit to the bookstore can
help a great deal. There are joke books that cover a wide range of topics, one
of which is retirement. A little scan here and there will help inspire the
reader if he/she isn't the natural comedian. These may also be good retirement
gifts as well, helping the retiree have a good laugh in one of those boring
Tuesday afternoons.

There are also a lot of websites available on the net that provide a lot of
jokes and free retirement e-books like The e-books that
they have range from the "200 best things said about retirement" to "retirement
wisdom you won't get from your financial advisor".


There is a lot of leeway one has on inserting jokes in a retirement party. If
you know someone who is coming near to retirement, you can send an email or two
which has retirement quotes like "retirement is when everyday is Saturday" and
"retirement: goodbye tension, hello pension!" It is a good gesture and gives
off the sense that you know what the future retiree is going through. Again,
keep the retiree (future or not) off tension as much as possible and make
him/her anticipate retirement with smile and not with a sigh as much as

And when the retirement party does come, keep the same lighthearted approach,
inserting jokes here and there and probably some gags like the ones said above.
Not only will the retiree will be less fussy about retirement, he/she will focus
more about the people who kept him happy on that bittersweet day, especially the
one who gave him that weird pink wig.

Their Legacy: Retirement Gift Ideas For Executives

For the elite people in the business industry, who have probably tasted the
finer things in life, personalization is the key for the perfect retirement
gift. It must be something that lets them remember their legacy in the
corporation, where they had grinded it out for decades to get into the position
of their dreams.

It must be related to their interests, where after successful deals and spot-on
investments, where they relish in those activities that make them happy and
fully human again. These two things are basic and necessary to help the former
executives remember how they lived their lives, and of course, the one who
thoughtfully gave it.

For the golfer

Nothing says leisure and passion more than the sport, golf. The demand of golf
clubs, gloves and the like has soared over the years due to the advent of new
industries like hedge fund investing and business solutions. More
businesspeople simply mean more golfers since golf is the sport where most of
them bond and get to know more about each other. Another evidence of which is
that golf courses are becoming more commonplace in rising economies like China,
where Mission Hills and many others are frequently advertised in sporting

All it takes is some creativity. One can put their company logo, family seal or
monogram in golf balls, markers, tees and golf bags to exude that certain kind
of privilege only they can taste. And for those who love to bring along friends
in the golf course, nothing says camaraderie more than personalized golf vests
for the group of friends!

Also, in memorable tournaments with other golfers, a miniature personalized
scoreboard print will also help bring out memories as much as photos do. With
podium finishes and ranks immortalized, it will conjure up the spirit of
competition and help the golfer (and other participants) again as if they're
playing and enjoying the sport right now.

Recreational Sports

Some executives spend their free time in casinos, where they flaunt their
wealth and win more on the way. So to speak, such people live life on the fast
lane, gaining and losing a lot as they go. For the perfect gift for these kinds
of people, there should be items that represent his/her lifestyle, like a cigar
personally blended or a cigar case and cutter with monograms. A customized card
deck with logos that represent the retiree's trade/industry can also be done for

One can also go for the classic expensive wine or champagne, where the taste of
which reminds one, with its incomparable sparkle, of the good life. A 1787
Chateau Lafite, Cristal Brut and Clos du Mensil are on this list.

Letting these type of people taste privilege is integral to the perfect
retirement gift for them. And cigar cases with monograms and expensive alcohol
go a long way.


Nothing else reminds them of themselves and their lifestyles more than
personalized items and things that represent their way of life. Giving these
kinds of gifts to retiring executives hits it right on the spot; they should
live their golden years the way they want it to be. And luxury and
personalization will help you find the best retirement gift for them.

Choosing the Perfect Retirement Gift for the Firefighter

Valor is an integral aspect when it comes to choosing the right gift for the
retiring firefighter. Almost every single day, they risk their lives in
often-dangerous situations in their career. So in their final day in service,
the retiree must be honored as much as possible for his/her commitment to the
job and we must let them know that he/she is appreciated.


As much as possible, the gift must be related to firefighting as the retiree
has practically given his heart and soul into saving people in danger. But the
gift shouldn't be merely serious. There are lots of products on the web that
offer firefighter retirement gifts ranging from the inspirational to the
outright silly. Examples are the Fireman's Prayer embedded on towels and
carpets or maybe a pocket watch with the Firefighter symbol engraved on the
reverse side of the watch.

But if you want to make the retiree truly feel like a hero, charms and medals
should be on the way. In, 14K gold cross charms are
available and personalized honorary medals. There are also Flag Maltese coins
and Fire Chief Gold and Silver coins available on One may also
opt for classic retirement gifts like sculpted pewter moneyclips, mugs and
limited-edition chrome lighters.

Or you can add a twist to your firefighter retirement gifts like a little
autograph on the cap or probably a customized bobble head doll featuring the
retiree. A polo shirt with a monogram is also a good choice. The possibilities
are endless. All one needs is a pocket full of imagination.

One may also give a tribute magazine to the retiree, where it chronicles the
firefighter's highlights in his career and probably with some testimonials from
friends, colleagues and family.

Thinking Forward

Firefighters are typically active people, so good retirement gifts may be also
items that promote a hobby. A good choice is tool sets if the retiree loves to
tweak automobiles. Or you may also give a golf set with a firefighter's logo
stitched on the golf bag to encourage him to take up sports and stay active and
healthy. With that said, also include on the list, tennis and squash rackets.

You may also pique the retiree's interest in history, giving him gifts about
firefighting and some antique materials related to the retiree's profession.
Whatever your choice may be, it is sure to let you have the retiree's


But given all these options to work with, one must keep into mind that when
choosing a retirement gift, you should take into account the retiree's
personality and hobbies. If he/she is the type who loves sports, take that
angle. If he/she is a bit vain, then plaques and customized trophies should be
in place. But if you and the retiree are mainly acquaintances but you want to
give him/her a gift anyway, then classics such as coffee-table books featuring
the retiree or special medals and coins are favorites.

Whatever you will choose as a gift, make sure that you recognize how you value
the retiree's contribution to society. Firefighting is a demanding profession
that needs a lot of commitment, and a gesture as simple as giving a towel with
a firefighter's logo could suffice as a retirement gift.

Keep that in mind, and your gift-giving woes shall be gone.

Homemade Gag Gifts For Retirement

Homemade gag gifts for retirement is a wonderful way to spice up the usual
retirement gift giving process by adding some personal touch to a gift. By
incorporating a sense of expression by yourself as the giver, you are then able
to transform a normal retirement gift into an eternal gift which will be
remembered very well.

Let Your Imagination Do The Thinking

The whole process of a homemade gag gift for retirement starts off with an
imagination. This imagination is not only geared towards knowing what to create
but to incorporate all other considerations, in which case should also be
included with humor and is relevant to the personality or the preference of the

A good imagination definitely places a good plan on a desired homemade gag gift
as a retirement gift. For example, a sound imagination may be able to produce a
plan to make a homemade necktie with the inscription "Not Retired, Just a
Homebody". Again, the key to starting a good plan to make a good homemade gag
gift is an active imagination.

Let Your Humor Do The Talking

After you have decided what item to create, the next thing to do is to inject
the item with a sense of humor either in words or in the manner in which it is
created. Humor is the unique and distinguishing mark on a homemade gag gift for
retirement. This is because humor is the essence of self expression of a human
being especially when it comes to its application as gags on others. The
specific joke may be the same as stated by two people, but the manner of
delivery and the idea of who it came from differ as a factor regarding
personality is considered.

Another thing about applying humor on a retirement gift does not necessarily
have to be what you found funny. It has to be relevant, with a good punch line,
and timely for the occasion. Remember that the humor is not for you but instead
for the recipient of your retirement gift.

In this case, let your mind off in thinking critically of technicalities and
details of how to please the person whom you will be giving your gift. Let your
mind loose this time and tap into your crazy side.

Let Your Hands Do The Walking

After you have picked the perfect humor for the retirement gift, it is now time
to implement and apply some skill and talent in creating. When creating, always
bear in mind that you are again expressing yourself now in terms of your
utility side; that which makes up of your skills in actualizing your physical
self to move in coordination to create something out of nothing.

Many people dread at this stage in doing something home made because of
apprehensions and pre set notions that anything that they will create will not
be as good as that sold commercially. Though it may be true that the
commercially marketed items are made by machine and exhibit consistency and
accuracy, your so-called "substandard" proportioned homemade gift is still more
valuable as it is the only one made as of the moment. Ever thought how limited
edition items are sold at a higher price? This is the perspective that you
would want to start with to encourage yourself.

If your concern is the aesthetic beauty of what you will be creating, just
remember that you are creating something not to be ogled and wondered at but to
be given a light twist. Your homemade gag gift for retirement is meant to get
the chuckles and hilarity of the recipient an nothing else beyond that.

High-risk Investments and Retirement Gifts

Everyone knows that the perfect retirement gift to give to oneself is a
formidable retirement plan. Nowadays, the American market is struggling with
the housing bubble and is only able to get meager gains; this means that stocks
are being valued less than one wants it to be. One may look towards high-risk
investments like oil-well partnerships, direct investments and foreign currency
ETFs to get the superior gains to offset the weak gains of traditional

And if deep inside, you're a daredevil, you may venture into hedge funds target
to retirement investors or mutual funds that make use of hedge fund strategies
to help future retirees generate sufficient income come 65.

But given the falling market and the benefits (and huge risks) that these kinds
of investments present, should one venture into these? Before we answer that
question, let's look deeper in the world of these "sophisticated" investments.

The Roller-Coaster World of Hedge-Funds

If you've only read about the good side of hedge funds, you've probably heard
about the superstar investors behind them that get paid huge sums by clients
and assure superior gains in their investments in return, regardless if stock
prices are rising or falling.

But the problem is, finding these superstars is a huge issue, since consistent
performance isn't assured, given the complexity of the investing world. Yes, it
may contribute a lot from the outset, but the chances of continued returns are
unlikely. Also, hedge funds are very unreliable in the sense that they lag
behind others in terms of "survivorship bias", which means that hedge fund
database don't include the returns of business that have flamed out or have
simply stopped posting results.

One should also consider the great difficulty in handling these kind of funds.
Great timing is needed especially in ETFs that let you buy and sell foreign
currencies, which helps you profit from ups and downs in the market. This
entails extensive reading of events in other countries and finding one that has
high currency volatility in order to get the best return possible.

High Costs

You probably haven't heard about the costs of being a hedge fund owner. These
funds usually charge around 1 to 2 percent of assets plus 20 percent or more
from profits in these funds. If you spend on a fund that spreads its assets on
numerous hedge funds, you'll also pay fees for each hedge fund involved. This
system of charging clients simply decreases the always-hyped returns that hedge
funds give.

Given the huge fixed costs of these investments, it is likely that one day you
might find yourself with big losses from investing too much on these. So to
speak, this might damage your retirement than fully enhance it.

Stick to the Basics

With all the problems and costs associated with these kinds of investments, it
is still better to ignore their tempting call and stick to mutual funds. Of
course, they pay lower fees compared to the astronomical ones in the
carnival-esque world of high-risk investing. Yes, these "basic" investments
still involve risk, but tracking corporations is way easier than keeping watch
of foreign currencies and economies.

In the long run, the seemingly little gains that you get from these simple
investments may pile up into something that's enough to spend your final years
in life with a Cristal in hand.

Heavy Equipment: Retirement Gifts For Machinists

Who And What Are Machinists?

Machinists are those people who are engaged in a variable work description
which ranges from operating mechanical machineries to electronic machineries
and robotics to create a specific item with precision and consistency. Usually,
these machinists are tasked to create only a specific part of a bigger item like
a door of a car or even just the knob of a door. Nevertheless, they are those
who interact with sophisticated and medium built machineries to produce the
necessary component.

As these machinists retire from work, they would most probably still be craving
to do similar tasks as that when they were still working in the factory.
Retirement gifts for machinists would also most probably be related to
machineries or anything that pertains to their hobby, which in this case would
most likely be crafting.

Know What They Like

Though it doesn't really and necessarily follow that the hobbies or off-work
habits of these machinists are woodworking or machine crafting, it is a good
start to know and project a gift that would at least start as something that
they usually work with. One has to know the retiree to know what industry these
retiring machinists would be coming from.

A retiree machinist who works in a car assembly factory may have a different
training background with certain machines as to that who works with machines in
a dry dock facility. Though both would be engaged in steel works and heavy
machine equipment, the nature of the specific item being created would have
different effects for the retiree's preference as a gift.

Know To Identify Their Specific Hobby

In addition to the nature of the retiree's machine related operation, knowing
the nature of the specific hobby of the retiree would definitely help place a
well valued and practical retirement gift for a machinist. For example, a
machinist who has a home based hobby of wood carving would find a retirement
gift of a good quality chisel set, or a new working table as a valuable present.

It may also be that the same machinist has a totally different hobby as
compared with working with machineries. It may be that the retiree's hobby
involves something less strenuous such as painting or even knitting. It may
sound funny to realize the extreme opposing activities existing in a single
person but it is possible.

The last thing you want to realize is that you have presented a retiree with a
gift which looks like work being brought home.

Know What They Still Need

Another thing to consider is to know what they really need. It may destroy the
element of surprise in giving not just retirement but with any kind of gifts
but it would be much more practical and economical. It would be economical in
the sense that there wouldn't be any money gone to waste by guying something
that the retiree wouldn't be able to use afterwards.

Another benefit of knowing the need of a retiree is to be able to properly
complement the exact wishes of the recipient of your retirement gift. Also, if
you really don't want to spoil the element of surprise, you may ask a relative
or a close colleague of his who knows his likes and needs. This way, you may
get additional ideas on how to make such a retirement gift be a well placed

Retirement gifts for machinists need not be mechanical or anything near
sophisticated. It may be the most common of things or retain its complex
characteristic which the machinist retiree has been accustomed to for many
years. What ever the gift may be, the point on making a gift for machinists
memorable and valuable is to make sure that it is something useful and

French Retirement Gifts

French Retirement Gifts are quite a unique way in spicing up any retirement
gifts on any occasion. Especially those who are fond of anything that speaks of
French or the like will definitely get a kick out of admiring and appreciating
such a retirement gift.

French retirement gifts have this certain feel to it that makes anything with
its influence a gift of appreciation and passion. It may be because of the
nature and French culture which is also imbibed on anything related to it.

Say It With Love

What better way to show your appreciation than to show some love on your gifts?
A French gift's theme of rich culture and heritage that gives French inspired
gifts their unique identity surely will extend your affection and add up to
just mere formalities of gift giving.

Some French Inspiration

There are several ways to identify and correctly impart a gift bearing a French
inspiration. To start off, a good concept to consider is something that can be
used in the home for the projected long hours of home stay after a retirement.
In line with this, one of the most popularly associated French items is
kitchenware. French cutlery in fine brass, silver, or gold is an excellent
option to give especially to a retiree who is into a little bit of
sophistication in lifestyle, in this particular case dining.

Another option to think about is French wines and similar liquor made and
fermented in the lush green hills and vineyards of France. Any of the more
distinguished wine brands from France boast the richness of their wines as they
have been brewed for decades to perfection. Giving your retiree one of these
surely will be like honoring him of his aging to near perfection in terms of
work experience and being wise as similar to that of how wine from France is

For added pizzazz to the exquisite taste in wine, you may opt to add in several
barwares to complement it. French crystal ware, especially that of champagne
glasses, and the like is a welcome sight as it exudes a level of finesse and
class in its category.

Another good addition of a retirement gift for home use is draperies. Curtains
and other home clothing with French design is always a good taste to that that
is into French home decorating. Giving a new twist in the ambience of a
retiree's home by making it French or European at least in design is quite nice
both for the owner of the house and gusts as well.

One of the most popular items associated with France and French design are
jewelries. Elaborate designs in silverware as well as gold, fixed with a gem,
and finalized with an inscription in French or custom words tops almost
anything else.

Of course French retirement gifts are not limited to the items and things that
can be acquired off the market. There is still the option of always giving
something worth remembering for a very long time: a travel package and tour to
France itself and enjoy the sights and wonders of Paris like the Eiffel tower,
or the French Riviera, or even the Arc de Triomphe.

Let the love and friendship that is France be part of your French retirement
gift plan to make your retiree's new life as a retiree memorable and also full
of love.

Fun with Retirement Gag Gifts

Ending With A Smile

Retiring does not mean that a person has to end the fun times, pun intended
with what he has come to live by in his everyday existence. It also does not
have to be a moment of sadness because of the formal ceasing of work. A
retiring event can be as much fun as any other celebrated occasion. One way to
make sure that such a retirement incident is kept fun and retains its fun is to
make sure that all aspects of the retirement process are serviced with a smile
or a funny and heartwarming cause. Retirement gag gifts may be utilized in this
manner to provide an added pun and fun for both the retiree and the guests
celebrating his retirement.

Pranks For Less Stress

Associated with work throughout the years are the different stressors which
have made the work experience complete but tiring nonetheless. A well themed
retirement gag gift would definitely relieve those bad moments in the retiree's
career. Furthermore, the retirement gag gift would be a lighter alternative of
implicating a farewell gift for the person from his work.

More Work, More Pranks

It is a good idea to counter the stress garnered from a retirement by placing a
theme which openly and blatantly speaks of his work and gives a clean ridicule
or laugh about it. This way, the retiree could think of his work experience as
something to look back to and have a chuckle or two about it. This would give a
sense of accomplishment to the individual and would therefore help him in moving
on, ending a career chapter in his life and starting a new life as a beneficiary
of his life's work.

Pranks in these manner may be indicated on the different items and memorabilia
which may be placed on them. For example, a retiree coming off from years of
police service may be given a token of a gag gift in the form of a customized
water gun which looks like a replica of the service pistol firearm that he had
during service. Another could be a rocking chair with a slogan saying "Too
young to rock this chair". What ever the retirement gag gift may be, what is
important is the message behind the item that would be funny.

Life Begins After Retirement

Probably you have heard of the saying "Life begins at 40". Some other similar
slogans would indicate a different age. What better way to start this "Life" as
they call it with a hearty laugh or a glowing disposition? Some of the
retirement gag gifts which could be of use in relation to the types of
activities that the retiree will be engaging in.

An avid golfer would have more time now to spend with his favorite sport, and
retirement gag gifts may be part of his new experience in focused golfing by
giving him a golf club designed specifically to cut grass so that even when he
is just in his lawn maintaining his garden or the like, he could still have a
few chuckles as he swings the gag gift at the grass.

The amount of laughs and gags are only limited by the imagination, and each
person's idea of a gag is different. Just be careful though of not being too
brutally mischievous in giving a person a retirement gag gift as it may hurt
that person if not properly given or thought of.

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