Bush Inaugural 2005: Calendar of Events

6-9 AM: Citizens along the parade route are interrogated and strip 
searched.

10 AM: Attorney General John Ashcroft leads the Abu Ghraib Tabernacle 
Choir in Onward Christian Soldiers.

10:30 AM: Colin Powell interrogated and strip searched.

11 AM: All Iraqi election officials granted asylum, interrogated and 
strip searched.

Noon: Dick Cheney sworn in, exorcised.

1 PM: Grand jury investigating Tom DeLay sent to Guantanamo for 
questioning.

2 PM: U.S. Poet Laureate reads Oh Captain, My Captain, specially 
rewritten as a tribute to Ken Lay.

3 PM: The Getting Tough on Corporate Crime float, featuring Martha 
Stewart in stocks, passes reviewing stand.

4 PM: Bush takes oath, gives speech, Ask Not What Your Country Can Do to 
You, When the Only Thing You Have to Fear is Your Country, Itself.

5-Midnight: Pharmaceutical Industry Soiree, Energy Industry Banquet, 
Insurance Companies Gala, U. S. Chamber of Commerce Bacchanal.

http://www.ironictimes.com

Return to