"Coming G.O.P. Attractions"
Increasingly frustrated with what he calls the "Hollywood power elite" and
its supposedly detrimental effects on contemporary American society,
Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has commissioned a new series of films
to reflect the new political tone now sweeping across the country as well
as his own personal vision of modern-day America.
Here is your sneak preview at twelve examples of Republicans' idea of cinema
verite, guaranteed to satisfy one and all of today's angry white males and
rabid conservatives...
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o A Cecil B. DeGingrich Film
o
o From God's Mouth To Your Wallet...
o
o THE TEN COMMANDMENTS II:
o
o "The Contract With America"
o
o Starring:
o
o Newt Dick Frank Ralph Jesse Pat Dan
o GINGRICH ARMEY LUNTZ REED HELMS ROBERTSON QUAYLE
o
o Ronald Bill Rush
o REAGAN CLINTON LIMBAUGH
o as The Voice of God as Pharoah as Mt. Sinai
o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as the Egyptian Arms Trader
o
o Filmed In CYNIC-SCOPE
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o "You're Gonna Do It My Way, See!"
o
o NEWT GINGRICH *is*
o
o "LITTLE CAESAR"
o
o A GOP Production
o
o Directed by Executive Producer Screenplay by
o NEWT GINGRICH NEWT GINGRICH NEWT GINGRICH
o
o Based on the bestseller
o "I Don't Want To Be President, I Want To Be Speaker"
o from Murdoch Books
o
o Introducing G. GORDON LIDDY as "The Executioner"
o
o Dick Gephardt appears because Firearms courtesy
o he has no choice The N.R.A.
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o He's On Top Of The World Now, Ma!
o
o LOOSE CANNON PRODUCTIONS presents an ANGRY WHITE MALE film
o
o JESSE HELMS is red, WHITE and blue HOT in
o
o "WHITE HEAT"
o
o BILL McCOLLUM as LAMAR ALEXANDER as RUSH LIMBAUGH as
o "Squeaky" "Mugsy" "Fatso"
o
o Bob Phil Pat "B1" Bob Wayne Oliver
o DOLE GRAMM BUCHANAN DORNAN LaPIERRE NORTH
o
o TIMOTHY McVEIGH & THE MICHIGAN MILITIA
o appear courtesy of MAD DOG CASTING
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o Caught in an 80's time warp, the Starship Revolution II
o careens toward the 21st century!
o
o GOPAC PRODUCTIONS presents
o a Newt Gingrich/Dick Armey film
o
o STAR TREK 104th:
o THE NEXT GENERATION FOOTS THE BILL
o
o Coming Sooner Than You Think!
o
o Enjoy tax-free admission! (Wealthy patrons only -
o No passes for students or seniors)
o
o Filmed in SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o Even more wicked & cynical than the '94 Republican crusade!
o
o HALEY BARBOUR PRODUCTIONS Presents
o
o "FREE WILLY '96:
o SEND CLINTON HOME"
o
o Starring
o
o Bob Phil Pat Pete Lamar "B1" Bob
o DOLE GRAMM BUCHANAN WILSON ALEXANDER DORNAN
o
o Newt Bill Rush
o GINGRICH CLINTON LIMBAUGH
o as as as
o The Corporate Whaler The Greenpeace Protester Willy
o
o "Self-righteous and narrow-minded...the ideal Christian movie!"
o - Ralph Reed, The Christian Coalition
o
o Filmed In ULTRACONSERVATIVE-SCOPE
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o "Uh, America, we have a problem."
o
o TRICKLE-DOWN PRODUCTIONS presents
o a Frank Luntz film
o
o "COLUMBIA 13: THE CONTRACT WITH AMERICA"
o
o Caught in an '80s time warp, the Republican "Revolution II"
o careens toward a catastrophic collision with Middle America!
o
o NEWT GINGRICH DICK ARMEY DAN QUAYLE
o as Cmdr. Lovell as Capt. Swigert as Capt. Haise
o
o Introducing ARIANNA HUFFINGTON as MRS. LOVELL
o
o THE VOICE OF MISSION CONTROL supplied by RONALD REAGAN
o
o "Enough graft, flag-waving and gung-ho senimentality
o to satisfy even the most demanding conservative!"
o - Rep. "B1" Bob Dornan
o
o Filmed in SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o Can THE G.O.P. EXTREMISTS provoke a FISCAL TRAIN WRECK
o in order to pass their own ELITIST and MEAN-SPIRITED BUDGET?
o
o LOOSE CANNON PRODUCTIONS presents an ANGRY WHITE MALE film
o
o "UNDER SIEGE 2:
o DEMOCRATIC TERRITORY"
o
o Featuring
o
o Timothy Wayne Rush
o McVEIGH LaPIERRE LIMBAUGH
o
o as The Crazed Reactionary Anarchists
o
o "Plenty of dead Feds and gratuitous gunplay....
o right-wingers will love it!" - G. Gordon Liddy
o
o THE MICHIGAN MILITIA appears ASSAULT WEAPONS
o courtesy of MAD-DOG CASTING courtesy of THE N.R.A.
o
o Filmed in PARANOID CONSPIRACY-SCOPE
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o BEYOND THE HORIZON lies the secret to
o ZERO TAXES FOR THE WEALTHY!
o
o PHIL GRAMM and THE GINGRICHITE REPUBLICANS
o set out to destroy
o
o "WASHINGTONWORLD"
o
o A GOPAC/MULTI-NATIONAL Production
o
o It's the most expensive revolution corporate America
o ever financed...but boy are they setting pretty now!
o
o Based on the bestseller
o "To Auction Off America"
o by NEWT GINGRICH
o
o Screenplay by THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION
o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as The Evil Arms Trader
o
o Now playing at a country club near you!
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o An upside-down world where brutal, primitive
o ideologues rule and humans scavenge for subsistence!
o
o TRICKLE-DOWN PRODUCTIONS presents
o a Ronald Reagan film
o
o "PLANET OF THE CONSERVATIVE APES"
o
o Tom Jim Rush
o DASCHLE JEFFORDS LIMBAUGH
o as as as
o Leo Davidson, Krull, Thade,
o The Bewildered The Good Evil Ruler
o Astronaut Gorilla Of The Apes
o
o Karl W. Jenna George W.
o ROVE BUSH BUSH
o as as as
o Limbo, Daena, Marky Mark,
o The Ape The Primitive The Experimental
o Slave Trader Nubile Human Chimp
o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as
o The Dying Conservative Neanderthal
o
o Ape Extras appear courtesy Filmed in
o REP. TOM DELAY SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o Washington, D.C., 2003. A place of lawlessness, rampant
o political corruption and great unrest. With Operation
o Iraqi Freedom underway, the country is torn apart and
o on the brink of chaos. For the inhabitants of America's
o capital, a war is also raging closer to home...
o
o
o Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz present a
o New American Century film
o
o
o "THE GANGS
o OF
o WASHINGTON"
o
o
o George W. Donald Colin Richard Condoleeza
o BUSH RUMSFELD POWELL CHENEY RICE
o as as as as as
o Amsterdam Bill The McGloin William Jenny
o Vallon Butcher 'Boss' Tweed Everdeane
o
o Special Appearance by Cast of a Thousand Thugs
o TONY BLAIR as Happy Jack courtesy of REP. TOM DeLAY
o
o
o "An Entrancing Achievement...a Sweeping Vision!"
o - The U.S. Supreme Court
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o An epic adventure of Evil against Evil set in a
o time of uncertainty in the land of the Middle-East.
o
o
o GOP Films presents a
o Bill Kristol Production
o o
o o
o "BORED OF THE WINGNUTS:
o THE TWIN TOWERS"
o
o
o George W. Saddam Gen. Tommy George H.W.
o BUSH HUSSEIN FRANKS BUSH, SR.
o as as as as
o Frodo The Sinister Human Warrior Once Great
o Hobbitt Wormtongue Aragorn King Theoden
o
o Special Cameo by Weapons of Mass
o THE BUSH TWINS Destruction courtesy
o as Eowyn and Elf Arwen THE N.R.A.
o
o Filmed In ULTRACONSERVATIVE-SCOPE
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o
o One of them is lying. So is the other.
o
o GEORGE W. BUSH and SADDAM HUSSEIN
o
o in
o
o "HOW TO LOSE A WAR IN 10 DAYS"
o
o A Shock & Awe/Running Deficit/
o Halliburton presentation
o
o
o Laura George W. Saddam Karen Dick
o BUSH BUSH HUSSEIN HUGHES CHENEY
o as as as as as
o Andie Benjamin Tony Spears The Boss
o Anderson Barry
o
o Based Upon a Short Story Screenplay by
o by PAUL WOLFOWITZ THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION
o
o A Trickle-Down Productions Film
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o WELCOME TO A WORLD WITHOUT TAXES...
o
o Offshore Drilling Films and
o Bomb Iran Entertainment
o present a
o Karl Rove production
o
o "THE DARK LIBB'RUL"
o
o
o Barrack George W. John Hillary Rudy Dick
o OBAMA BUSH McCAIN CLINTON GIULIANI CHENEY
o as as as as as as
o Bruce Wayne/ The Dist. Atty. Rachel Scarecrow Crime
o Batman Joker Harvey Dent/ Dawes Boss
o Two-Face
o
o
o Special Cameos by CGI Effects Completion Thugs'
o BRITNEY SPEARS & by Guarantee Weapons
o PARIS HILTON Swiftboat Underwritten by courtesy
o as Barbara Gordon Veterans Exxon/Mobil The NRA
o & Natascha For Truth
o
o Screenplay by "More action than Larry Craig's bathroom stall,
o The Republican the ultimate movie for conservatives!"
o National Committee - Rush Limbaugh
o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
.
.
Return to |
