"Weird Beliefs of the Seventies"
The Seventies saw the spread of California culture (or "life-style," as it
came to be called), oozing from the canyons and condos of that state and
slopping itself into the brainpans of previously rational and intelligent
Many among us began applying the words "therapy" and "training" to every
conceivable activity. And in fact much of the weirdness of the seventies
was simply ordinary everyday activities raised to the level of great
as much time, energy, money, and persistence on leaving this world as
Jewish businessmen once spent on gaining admittance to exclusive golf
||Feeling sad when someone dies.
|Neurosis can be literally pummelled out of the body by intensive painful message.
||Leave Sergeant Murphy alone with the guy in the back room and he'll talk.
The Unification Church
|There is no god but the CIA, and Reverend Moon is its prophet.
||High-level political corruption, bribery and arms smuggling.
The People's Temple
|Kool-Aid, a sickly sweet kiddies' drink, is a dignified and courageous way to meet the afterlife.
||Poor blacks and other disavantaged people band together for social justice.
Primal Scream Therapy
|Reliving the trauma of one's birth and acting out the pain will produce happiness and material success.
||Shelling out a a couple of bucks to some gypsy to have your fortune told.|
emotionally unstable ravings of a minor tribal deity from 5,000 years
ago were dictated by him into Elizabethan English and are as American
as Old Glory.
|"Openness" (or, "Being Vulnerable")
||Sexual self-stimulation provides a depth of release impossible with a partner.
|"Honesty" (or, "Sharing")
||Allowing a partner/parent/child to witness your sexual self-stimulation will uplift your relationship.
|Mud Baths/Hot Tubs
||Return to the primal elements water and fire removes the neurotic buildup of pressures caused by Western "civilization."
||Taking some steam.
|EST (Erhard Seminars Training)
responsibility for everything that happens in your life. (For instance,
being responsible for paying great dollops of money to brutal con men
who deprive you of physical comforts while verbally abusing you.)
||Being a boring, pathetic, but reliable volunteer campaign worker for the Republican party.
|"Getting in touch with your anger"
||Immediate release of pent-up anger may keep you from getting cancer. Or cure you if you have cancer.
||Kicking the shit out of the family dog.
I'm not going to write this entry. It violates my personal space, and
I'm not going to make a firm contract with you to write it until my
real-life needs are acknowledged. Give me a million dollars and make me
president of the corporation. Then maybe I'll think about it. But I'm
not making any commitments.
||Being a pigheaded, loudmouthed asshole.
||Risking bankruptcy and arrest in order to eat ground-up apricot pits will cure you of cancer.
||Risking bankruptcy and arrest in order to eat ground-up apricot pits.
a suit and tie and shaving your beard make you as much a part of the
decade as being a psychedelic bozo did in the sixties and wearing
black-rimmed glasses and holding bongo drums did in the fifties.
||Being an ambitious and highly adaptable poet from New Jersey.|
- from National Lampoon, February, 1980.
Scandals, Urban Legends, and Other Brouhaha
1972 - Deep Throat Ordeal